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The world was turning black around me, panic taking over my mind. I was shifting. I was turning for the second time in my life, and I couldn’t control the monster.
Within moments, I fell into a sea of darkness. The wolf, the monster, had complete control.
* * *
Birds sang a chorus above me as I shivered and felt rocks, leaves, and branches digging into my skin. My teeth chattered, and I forced my eyes to open. My entire body ached. The sun’s rays peeked out from behind low, dense clouds that hadn’t burned off yet. They painted the morning sky, but the sun had yet to make its appearance.
I sat up and gazed down at my exposed body. Dried blood flaked off my skin. The taste of copper coated my tongue. My stomach churned, and my mouth filled with saliva. I was going to be sick.Please let it be my blood.
Quickly, I roamed my hands over my body to find any punctures, marks, or tears.
Please. Please. Please be my blood. Please let me be injured.
It was a fruitless search. I had no surprise cuts, no abrasions, no lacerations. No wounds at all.
Stumbling onto my knees with the overwhelming urge to be sick, I felt ice infuse my veins as images of every horrible thing that could have happened last night ran through my mind. Vivid images that could’ve been memories made a slasher movie of my thoughts. I hoped to God they weren’t memories.
My wolf sighed and stretched inside me. She was content and had a happy glow to her. Before I could think of anything else, I grabbed the mental chains, wrapped her tightly, and yanked her into a cage deep in my mind.
You’re never doing that again, you monster. What did you do?
She huffed and yawned at me before curling up into a ball and snoozing.
I was in turmoil, and the monster who had caused the disaster was taking a fucking nap. Trembling, I fought back the tears that pooled in my eyes and threatened to spill down my cheeks.
I scanned the woods. It seemed I was pretty close to the path I walked yesterday before meeting up with Lola. That meant I was still in Blackwood Forest.
My joints hurt and I was exhausted, but I gathered enough strength to get to my feet. I turned several times, looking left and right and center. I had to know if there were others around, anyone who might’ve seen what I’d done.
I wrapped my arms around my chest as I worked to hide my nudity, but that was the best I could do. Goosebumps cascaded down my skin, and I hated how my nipples were as hard as tiny rocks because of the cold. I would die of embarrassment if anybody saw me.
When it hit me after several long surveying glances that nobody was around, I looked around the area. There were no pools of blood—only the blood on my legs, abdomen, and chest. Or at least, that was all I could see.
Slowly, watching my steps so as not to step on a wayward stick or pebble, I trudged in the direction of the town. My feet were sore, and I’d kill for a pair of shoes—but I quickly shook away the grim terminology. What if Ihadkilled someone?
I tried to be quiet as I moved, not wanting to alert anyone. Last thing I needed was to be discovered by an early morning hiker or jogger who liked the rough terrain. Even a mountain biker was a possibility in these parts.
I tried to call to mind a memory, something that would explain my current state of bloodiness, but the events of the night before wouldn’t come to mind no matter how hard I dug for even the slightest of snippets. The wolf was holding them close to her chest.
After a few minutes of trying to recall anything, I vaguely remembered shifting in the B&B and prayed I hadn’t damaged anything. That was not how I wanted to repay Diana and Margo. They’d been so good to me that it would gut me if I’d destroyed the room.
And then a bigger piece of the night came back to me: the howl from the last wolf who’d joined the run. My wolf had gone berserk at the sound. I hadn’t been able to stop her. Then, once we’d made it outside, she ran into the forest, catching and following a dark, woodsy, earthy scent.
I knew that scent. Ached for it.
That scent owned us—not just my wolf—like we were possessed. It was a driving need.
I ran my hands through my hair as if holding my head would bring back the memories of the night before, but nothing more came to me.
Oh, please, let me have hunted a deer or an animal nearby. Please, not a human. Oh, God, what did I allow to happen?
The inner monster did nothing. She was sound asleep without a care in the world. I wanted to curse her out, but what good would that do? She was part of me.
The soft trickling of water nearby caught my attention. Inching over twigs, rocks, and various kinds of detritus, I finally came to a small stream flowing gently down the rolling hills. I dropped into the water, taking a few handfuls and swishing the cool liquid all over me. A chill ran over my body in the cold water, but the urgency to clean myself of the blood was too strong. I washed the blood from my hair, skin, and nails, scrubbing as best I could without soap and a cloth. I’d never feel clean. My skin was rubbed raw from my fear and the intensity of my scrubbing. I had blood on my hands, and I didn’t know how it had gotten there.
After scrubbing my face, hair, and neck far longer than the rest of my body, I couldn’t be sure I got it all, but it would have to do. My teeth were chattering from the morning chill and the freezing water. I scurried along, hoping to get out of these woods as fast as possible.
God, it had been so stupid of my wolf to shift, let alone inside the B&B. Plus, there was the added problem of someone seeing it happen or being in the path of a feral wolf. It wouldn’t take much for a hunter to find out about it. Especially if something terrible had happened…
