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Tori’s body shifted like a weight had been lifted off her, and she staggered slightly toward the building. She leaned against it as if she couldn’t hold herself up anymore.
I wondered how long she’d held everything inside. When was the last time she’d talked about anything personal? Hell, how many things about herself had she forgotten while trying to protect herself? How many secrets did she harbor? Those alone could bury a person, and I wanted her to be unburdened and stand under the sun and moon with pride and freedom.
“I had no clue about this world. About other species—shifters, particularly—even existing until I first shifted four years ago.” She leaned her head against the building. “I was fighting with someone, and the anger was building so fast inside me, I could literally feel it clawing its way out of me.” She held her hands up and looked at them, turning them one way, then another, palms up, palms down. “I tried to get whatever it was out of me, to make it stop and leave me alone, but there was no getting through. Whatever happened to me, it wouldn’t listen. It kept pushing.”
She looked down then, dropping her hands to her sides. “Something inside me snapped. I remember snarling like an animal, and an immense pain shot through my body. I did everything I could not to hurt the other person. The fear and hatred in their eyes, the disgust, had me running as far and as fast as I could.”
Every first shift story was different. Hers was painful. Mine was glorious.
I listened intently to her every word. There was a hesitancy, even though she couldn’t stop the words. She didn’t want to tell this story, and I could tell she’d never told another soul. I hoped sharing it would help put her onto a path of healing and acceptance, to finally share it with somebody who could help her, to share the burdens with her.
“I looked down at my hands.” She held them up again, this time for me to see. “But instead of skin and fingers, there were furry paws. My body twisted and turned in weird, contorted shapes. I hadn’t fully turned before I ran. I made it to the woods, a patch of darkness shrouded by trees, and then I shifted completely. I was so scared.”
“Scared” didn’t really convey what she must have felt, which was likelyterror. I was born for it, raised to acquire a position as alpha, but there were others who were denied.
I couldn’t imagine not knowing what I was. How could her parents have kept it from her? It was so dangerous. Why hadn’t it been explained to her? A shifter’s first shift should have been honored and celebrated. The fact that it had happened while she was feeling threatened and not knowing what was happening was probably the saddest thing I’d ever heard.
No wonder she despised her wolf. To her way of thinking, it had taken everything from her. Her everyday life had vanished with that first shift.
“I heard gunfire from all directions and kept moving,” she continued. “I soon realized people were trying to herd me into traps. I wised up to what they were doing. I’m small, so I could sneak and go undetected at times. That was when I discovered there were hunters. Hunters of shifters, I mean.”
She looked at me then, her face crumpled with misery. I wanted to scoop her up and cradle her in my arms.
“I shifted back into human form, a young girl naked in the woods, nobody else around. I ran with the hunters hot on my tail.” She shook her head. “They’ve been after me for years. That’s why I’ve never stayed in one place for too long.”
A young girl out in the world on her own, hiding and dodging hunters. I couldn’t begin to fathom everything she’d survived. How many times had she been hurt or almost been killed? God, this woman was fucking amazing and strong.
My wolf wanted to praise her for being a fighter, wanted to tear those hunters apart and feast on their corpses for the terror they’d inflicted on her. I preferred to eradicate them, but my wolf was bloodthirsty, primarily where Tori was concerned. This time, I wanted him to have his way.
“So you see, Mayor Blackwood, if you were smart, you wouldn’t try to get me out of this.” She spoke so solemnly, not blinking, not wavering. “It’d be best if you either let me be convicted of murder or send me packing, because whatever you think happened last night doesn’t matter. I have no control over the wolf. She does what she wants. I’m fairly sure she did kill the deputy, and even if she didn’t kill last night, she will. It’s only a matter of time.”
Resting her forehead back against the wall, she turned slightly to watch me through a curtain of hair. Exhaustion surrounded her, and she seemed so defeated. I also sensed she was genuinely concerned she had killed somebody.
Punishment was something she sought. If not for murder, then just for existing.
I didn’t buy any of that. If she were a killer, she’d be ruthless. She’d jump at the offer of my giving her an alibi. Sadness seeped into my soul. This creature was so terrified, had been on the run for so long. Showing her that Blackwood Creek was the best choice for her and her wolf would be an uphill battle. But my duty as alpha was to look out for and care for any wolves in danger, which was what her original alpha should’ve done for her.
Given time to think about it, I knew I’d need to work through her aggression because that was the ultimate task for any alpha worth his salt, and hers had failed her miserably.
I hesitantly stepped closer and leaned against the wall next to her. Just because she told me a small part of her story didn’t mean she’d suddenly trust me. She was in constant fight-or-flight mode. She had to be. It had been conditioned into her for the last four years. She must be exhausted.
“Tori, I promise you, we’ll figure this out together. I’ll make a deal with you.” I lightened my tone, thinking that if she had some control, the ability to make decisions instead of being told what to do, she’d be more receptive.
She perked her head toward me. I wanted to smile, but I didn’t want her to perceive anything I said to her as a challenge. I tried to make my words as non-threatening as I could.
“If you’ll tell me everything you know about the hunters”—which had to be a good amount if she had successfully avoided capture this long—“I’ll give you an alibi for being in Blackwood Creek that the townsfolk will believe, and I’ll help you understand your wolf.”
She was interested in the alibi but scoffed at the mention of her wolf. I’d had a strong suspicion she’d do that.
“I don’t want to understand the damned thing.” She narrowed her eyes at me, her anger palpable. “And how could you possibly get the town to believe I was with you during the murder? That I’m innocent?” She rolled her eyes at that last part. “Even I don’t fucking believe I’m innocent.”
It gutted me that she questioned her own innocence. It showed me exactly how far I had to go to help her understand her wolf, how beautiful of a creature she was, and that she wasn’t a monster—and she certainly wouldn’t be one unless she made herself that way.
The next part would be hard for her to accept, but it had to be believable. The only way we could win over most of the town in one swoop would be for Tori to be intimately connected to me in a position that was beyond question. Something permanent. Something serious. Something important to me that would give her a reason to be here in the first place andstayhere…give her an excuse to spend a lot of time with me and enable me to vouch for her.
My plan wasn’t entirely selfless. For the past few years, I’d been frustrated with all the families in town, specifically the prominent families who were constantly trying to make a bigger name for themselves. They’d regularly parade their daughters and nieces in front of me, as if by putting them before me, I’d start rutting and wedding bells would sound off in no time. These families wanted money and status in any way they could get it. What better way than hooking me up with one of their females?
There had been countless evenings, especially in the beginning after I’d moved back into Blackwood Manor, where women brought me casseroles, pies…you name it. Some ladies arrived with their dishes, wearing nothing more than a coat and a smile. I’d tried to be kind when I denied them, but eventually, it became easier to slam the door. Or better yet, not answer at all.
