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I can’t help but think of the afternoon; it felt amazing being behind the wheel again. It took me back to that night on the bridge. For the first time since dying, I felt alive. Felt what must have been phantom adrenaline rushing through my body, and now I'm coming down from that high and replacing it with another.
Your good pal Merrick is about to be vulnerable for a minute, folks. This will be the first and last fucking time. I’m not a pussy and I’ll deny this entire conversation.
When Joanie was telling Fallon off, it brought me so much joy. It was hilarious. Fallon was so fucking confused. It was funny as fuck.
Until it wasn’t.
Something clicked inside me on that balcony.
Only I get to talk to her that way. Anyone else, I would murder. Which is what almost happened to Joanie. If she wasn’t meant for my stupid little girl, then I would have dropped her.
Her screams filling the air.
Her head smashing into the stone driveway.
Blood running out of her mouth and broken bits of skull.
Her brain being eaten by crows.
I may have daydreamed about this a time or two.
Sue me.
At least I’m honest about it, unlike you fuckers.
But now, it’s my brain that’s messed up instead of Joanie’s. And I hate it.
“Now, Merrick. Don’t make me mother you.” Ah, here comes the noisy and self-proclaimed mom of the cemetery, Darla.
“Now, why would I want to stop you from doing the only thing you seem to be decent at?” I can feel her shaking her head at me. But since when have I cared?
“You like the girl. My granddaughter. If you fight it any longer, you will lose her. If you push her too far, she won’t come back.”
Taking a hit, my head tilts up to the sky as I blow it out. “She shouldn’t have come here. This fucking town just takes and takes. What does it ever give back? It’s bullshit, just like your theory.” Turning my head slightly to look in her direction, “And don’t forget, I’m your grandkid too, old lady.”
“I haven’t forgotten. But sometimes you need a firm hand which needs to come from the un-grandmotherly side of me. Like right now. You may think she is a stupid little girl, but you are acting like a stupid little boy.”
I left the main house to get away from moaning voices, only to turn up here to have Darla in my ear.
Fuck me.
“Merrick. It’s time you pull your head out of your own ass and see what is right in front of you. You have never put this much effort into pissing someone off before; and you haven’t ever done anything nice for anyone, unless there was an ulterior motive. That goblet was not that. You have appeared for her. Don’t think I don’t know about the other stuff, either. You like Fallon. It’s about time you accept that.” Does she ever shut up?
“Now put your stinky drugs away and do something about it before you go too far. Before you lose her for good. Which you are very close to doing, stupid little boy.” This woman needs to find a hobby that isn’t my life.
“Have you seen my dear old dad lately?” Changing the subject before she makes me give a shit about what she’s rambling on about.
“No. He hasn’t shown himself in years. Just like you, he’s always running away or hiding.” I walked right into this. I’ve successfully stayed hidden for thirty years until now. Dear old dad pops in once in a while, but he has never seen me. He watches from a distance, keeping to himself in the graveyard. And like me, he has never shown himself to Joanie.
She destroyed this family.
Now it’s the family's turn to destroy her.
Putting my joint out under my boot, I get up from where I’m sitting. “Good chat, Darla. Let’s never do this again, yeah?”
“I’ll let you be mean to me, but only because I know what I’ve said affects you. You think about it, I know you do. Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, boy. I could kick your ass whenever I wanted.”
“Sounds like a good time. And possibly like a come on… care to share your feelings with the class?” She’s definitely going to kick my ass now.
