AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Yeah, that's right. This ghost dick can procreate.
We are in the town on the last day it’s open before Halloween. My kid, who is dressed up like a daisy, is running around like she just ingested a bag of sugar. I fucking love it.
Her aunt Harper made her the costume. Good news is she didn’t use her dead mom as the model. So that’s a nice change.
We are at the clock tower, tourists are taking loads of pictures and a few are lined up for ghost tours.
Darla brought the idea up to Fallon a couple of years ago. They had done it in the past, but Joanie pissed the spirits off so much they stopped participating in the tours. So they were canceled.
To say the least, shit was bad under Joanie. Shit is fucking rainbows under my lady. Fallon is doing a great fucking job.
The spirits all adore her. She’s kind and caring. Helps them navigate their journey and keeps their home in the cemetery a peaceful place to be.
Anyway, Fallon hired a few of the local teens to do the tours. The spirits get to play and scare the shit out of the tourists. Although, there is this one motherfucker who comes each year who pisses me off. He never startles or shows any sign of fear on the tour.
I have made it my personal mission to make him piss his pants this year.
He waited until tonight to come.
I have it all planned. This time on the tour, I won’t even bother. He is expecting it. It’s a game. This time I am waiting until he gets in his piece of shit car. Where I’ll be hiding. He will pull out of his spot and head to the bridge out of town.
That's when I’ll pop up in front of his moving car. I’ll throw myself onto his windshield.
Oh no, he has killed a man.
As he is standing over me, freaking the fuck out, I’ll open my eyes and yell, “Boo, are you scared yet?” Then I’ll disappear.
Guaranteed pant pissing. Or a heart attack. Both are acceptable. I chuckle to myself thinking about it. That’s for later. Fucker won’t even know what hit em.
“Hails, stay close to us, please.” I shout at my daughter, who is weaving in and around people.
Fallon’s hand is in mine, as her other hand holds her rounding stomach.
Yes, karma said you will have two daughters. Two daughters who will eventually have synced cycles with their beautiful mother. I couldn’t be more excited if I tried.
“You’re telling them about the girls, aren’t you?” Fallon questions, smirking.
“Yeah. And how blessed we are to have been gifted with two tiny princesses.”
She laughs at me. Fallon also knows my karma theory and doesn’t dispute it. She fucking loves it, actually.
Winking at me, “Such an asshole.”
We aren’t married. We didn’t feel the need to get married.
I put my super ghost sperm inside of her and it created a tiny human. That was me publicly claiming her. Which means a fuck load more to me than a fucking ring on a finger and scripted vows.
Now I know the question on everyone's mind is… is the donut dick still on the driveway?
The answer is yes. Yes, it is folks!
Mark tried to scrub it off when we told him he was going to be a grandpa, but that shit is on there good.
Hails has seen it when playing on the second-floor balcony. She said, “Daddy, what is that?” with a slight tilt to her cute little blonde haired head. The blonde was alarming at first, since we are both naturally dark haired. But my super ghost sperm took my bleached white hair and put that in my kid. Which is kind of sweet.
I explained to her that before Mommy killed Grandma Joanie—you know Joanie is cringing at being called grandma—that daddy took mommy’s car and used the tires to make a cool picture on the driveway. Grandma Joanie didn’t appreciate art, though, and she got really mad.
“But what is it?” And I would never lie to my child, so I told her. A donut penis.
