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“Not enough, Genesis. I’ve thought of little else since you decided on changing our wedding date so you could help Kye with his mistake. I’ve talked to my mom. I’ve lost sleep over it. I hoped that, today, you would agree to come stay at a hotel with me. That you’d give a little. Just enough to give me hope. But you didn’t.”
He’d tested me, and I’d failed.
I sniffled and fought off crying. I hadn’t wanted to hurt Bowie. But I’d realized, being here with Kye, that I might have been using Bowie as a distraction from what I couldn’t have. Kye would never be the marrying kind. He’d never be a Bowie, yet my heart didn’t seem to care. It was no longer just Kye holding me tightly; it was Jagger. They both had my heart. Maybe there wasn’t any room left.
“That’s it? You aren’t going to change your mind, are you? Even with me calling off the wedding?” he said with a defeated tone.
“You are asking for something I can’t do,” I whispered.
He looked at me, and the pain was there on his face. He didn’t try and mask it. My chest hurt as I thought about how he was feeling, but as much as it ached, I knew leaving Jagger would be worse.
Bowie walked over to me, and I thought for a moment that he was going to kiss me. Tell me he was sorry. That we’d work it out. However, when he reached me, he looked down at my left hand, then up at me.
“If this is truly how you feel, then it’s not just the wedding I’m calling off. It’s the engagement too.”
I swallowed painfully over the lump in my throat. Lifting my hand, I slid the ring off my finger and looked at it one last time.
The truth was, I should have never said yes to him. He’d asked me at a very emotional time. My father was in the hospital, and my mother’s complete devotion to him reminded me that their love was what I wanted in life. Bowie seemed like the man who could give me that. But I hadn’t factored in that my mother adored my father with every breath she took. She had told me once that he still gave her butterflies when he walked into a room. Bowie didn’t give me butterflies. He never had.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I placed the ring in his open hand. “I’m sorry for everything. All I’ve done that has hurt you. You’re right; you deserve more than I can give.”
His hand closed tightly over the diamond that I should have never accepted.
“He will never love you the way you want him to,” Bowie said with conviction. “He will destroy you. Crush your soul. This pretend world you’re living in right now is temporary. Once the kid is gone, Kye will be right back to the way he was. It’s just how Kye is.”
I pressed my lips together to keep from letting out a sob. I nodded. I knew he was right, but hearing him say it out loud was like a knife slicing through me.
“I know,” I managed to say through the emotion clogging my throat.
He shook his head. “Then, you’re a damn fool.”
I blinked away the tears and sniffled. Bowie turned and walked over to the door, picked up his backpack and overnight bag, then walked out without one backward glance. I stood there, looking straight ahead until I heard his truck start up and drive away.
One day, he’d find a girl who adored him. He would fall in love and be thankful that this had happened. I would be one of those relationships he was glad hadn’t lasted because he’d found the one that was meant for him.
As for me, I wasn’t sure what my future held. I couldn’t look that far ahead and hope. There was too much in my present that I never wanted to let go of even though I knew the day would be here soon when I had to.
Twenty-One
Kye
Bowie’s truck being gone surprised me when I arrived back at the house. I hadn’t expected him to give up time with Genesis.
He’d been fucking annoyed last night, and I felt guilty for enjoying it. I didn’t want Genesis hurt. That was the only reason I wasn’t grinning like a fool from the scowling Bowie did last night and this morning over breakfast. He was quiet and withdrawn. I knew Genesis saw it, too, and she seemed nervous. It was one of the reasons I’d offered to run to the store. I’d wanted them to have some alone time.
When I walked inside the house, the living room was quiet. I took the bags to the kitchen and put the cold things away before going to find where she and Jagger had gone. Stopping at the door to my bedroom, I saw Jagger sleeping in his bed with the baby monitor thing beside him on the table. Genesis had been so excited about the things Maddie had sent over with Six this morning.
