Page 58 of Burn (Smoke)


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“Butterflies?” I asked, wanting that clarified. I wanted to make sure I was understanding her correctly.

She nodded against my chest. The towel in her hair was in my way. I couldn’t smell her this way. I reached up and pulled it off, then tossed it aside.

“Butterflies,” she repeated. “Mom said that she still gets butterflies when Dad walks in a room. I never got those with Bowie. He was just comfortable. Safe.”

She didn’t finish, but I knew what she was thinking. He was things that I wasn’t. Did she measure the guys she dated up to me? Was I the guy she made sure they were nothing like? Fuck, that hit me in the gut.

“Don’t ever settle without the butterflies,” I told her. “You are worthy of a man who makes you feel all the things.”

She let out a short, humorless laugh. “Yeah, well, I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

I ran my hand over her damp hair. She had no fucking clue how perfect she was. No idea how the man who gave her butterflies would be the luckiest bastard on the face of the planet.

“It’ll happen,” I assured her. “You’re only twenty. I’m not ready to give you up for a very long time. And even then, I’m going to end up in therapy when I do.” I was serious too.

The brutal truth was, I wanted her. She gave me fucking butterflies. When she walked into a room, I got so damn happy that my entire world lit up. I was pretty sure Jagger felt the same way. Like father, like son.

“Maybe,” she whispered, then pulled back, her hands going to her towel to keep it together. “Jagger has been asleep awhile. I need to get dressed before he wakes up.”

I wrapped one of her wet locks around my finger. “I’ll take care of little man. You take your time.”

She smiled. “Honestly, I need to hold him. He’ll make me feel much better.”

Watching her with him was my favorite thing to do.

His new birth certificate was in a drawer in my bedroom, tucked away, and had been there for a few days. Levi had gotten it expedited through his connections. I hadn’t wanted to expedite it, and I wasn’t ready to tell Genesis I had it. The thought of giving my son away was more difficult than I’d ever imagined it would be. I tried to tell myself that it was just because I knew it was going to be hard on Genesis. I couldn’t stand the idea of her being upset over letting him go. But I had to face the facts. It was me who didn’t want to let him go. I wanted to keep him. Just like I wanted to keep her.

Twenty-Two

Genesis

Jagger had slept five-hour stretches the past two nights. It was as if the night when Bowie had been here exhausted him so much that he was making up for the lost sleep. When my eyes opened at six and he was still sleeping, I watched to make sure he was breathing. Kye’s arms tightened around me, and he snuggled in closer to my back.

This, too, had gotten more intense since Bowie had left. I no longer just woke up like this, but we went to sleep like this too. Kye had asked if he could hold me the first night, and I’d been weak. I’d said yes. Somehow, it’d happened again last night. To be honest, I enjoyed it. I slept better. The only issue I had with it was that my panties were wet every morning and the tingle between my legs had become an ache.

Kye buried his head in my hair and made a sleepy groan. It was like he knew I was awake and would be getting up soon. If he knew I wanted to stay here even more than he wanted me to stay and why, he would be the one flying out of the bed first.

At least, I thought he would. I kept telling myself he would to keep me from doing something stupid that I couldn’t take back. Kye was always touchy-feely. I also wasn’t sure how much sex he was getting these days. When he wasn’t off doing underworld stuff, he was with us. There were days he didn’t leave us at all. I couldn’t let his lack of sex and typical horny behavior make me think he was asking for something that I knew he didn’t truly want from me.

He shifted, and his erection was tucked inside of my butt cheeks. I closed my eyes and tried not to make a sound. I wasn’t sure if he was awake enough to know what he was doing. I had blamed his morning wood on just that. But now that he was spooning me at night, I could feel it then too.

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