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"I don't know, Reyna. This fake engagement was never meant to be anything more than that. But... I can't deny that I feel something for you too," he admitted, looking into my eyes. My heart skipped a beat at his words. Maybe there was hope for us after all. I reached out and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Then let's talk about us after we've taken care of this media situation. I don't want to lose you, Bryce," I said, hoping that somehow it would make him say something more than just surface level.
“Let’s have a chat after the interview is done tomorrow. But come to the room when you're ready and we'll prepare.”
I sighed as I watched him walk away, my heart heavy with disappointment again. I had never been good at reading people, so I didn't know if Bryce felt the same way I did or not. But one thing was for sure, he had just pushed me away and my heart was shattered. I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts.. Despite the hurt I was feeling, I knew that I had to put on a brave face and deal with the situation at hand.
My emotions were a jumble of pain and confusion, but I knew that I had to stay strong. I slowly stood up and walked toward the lounge chair to get a towel. I had to follow him and talk this out. I knew that he was hurting too, and I needed to find a solution to our problem. I took one last look around the pool, grabbed belongings, and headed to our room.
As I walked slowly, I could feel my heart pulsing in my chest. I didn't know what the outcome would be, but I had to take the chance. I had to find a way to make things right between us. I just hoped that it wouldn't be too late. Bryce was now in business mode, and I decided that whatever I had to say about us had to wait.
We spent the rest of the afternoon preparing for our interview with ATL, trying to come up with the perfect answers to put an end to all the rumors about us. As we got ready for the interview, and discussed all the little things we knew or didn't know about each other, I couldn't help but question his every smile or his laughter.
Was he being genuine with me in any way? The small room felt hot and cramped, and I was sure that the air conditioning had broken down. Sweat beaded on my forehead, and my heart pounded in my chest. I had just said something to Bryce that I'd been wanting to say for a long time, something that I'd been carefully choosing my words to say out loud. But now, as I looked at him, he just wanted to methodically cover the details of the interview that was ahead of us. He didn't refer to anything we had talked about earlier. I guess he had promised me after the interview and I would have to wait for that.
But, it was clear. Business before pleasure. And maybe pleasure was only possible after business was taken care of first. I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. It hurt that I had put myself on the line like that and he just threw it back in my face. My feelings wavered between longing for him and the deep embarrassment of revealing your feelings and then being shut down.
Maybe Bryce wasn't capable of love? There were moments when I felt like it would be different with me, but now, I was starting to realize that maybe I was just another woman to him. Maybe he acted this way with every woman he bedded. At least until he got tired of them.
I slowly stood up, and without another word, I made my way to the window in desperate need of some air. I thought about the time we would have to spend alone until we could leave and the uncomfortable silence that I was sure I'd have to endure the whole time. I had wanted this to be something different, something more, but instead, I was walking away feeling worse than when I'd come to the motel.
Chapter 22
Bryce
Itookafewmore calls trying to prepare for the interview, which was meant to happen the following day. The sun had begun its descent, painting the sky in hues of orange and red, but I barely noticed the beauty around me. All I could think about was the look on Reyna's face when I told her that I couldn’t give her what she was expecting from me.
I stole glances at Reyna, and I could tell that she was upset. I wanted to apologize and explain that I had to do this for my safety, but I knew she would never understand because she, too, was taking a risk by being with me. I didn't blame her. I had let her down. I wanted to tell her that I was falling for her just as much as she was, but something held me back.
The minutes flew by and eventually I knew I had to do something to reassure her. I wanted to walk over to Reyna and pull her into a tight hug. I wanted to breathe in the scent of her hair and hold her a little longer than I had ever held her before. I wanted to kiss her forehead and see her smile appear once more. I wanted to give her hope that eventually we would figure it all out and we just needed to be a little patient and let fate lead.
But I knew right now she would take it all the wrong way. She’d think that I was sweeping things under the carpet like I always did.
I finished my last call of the day, and Reyna chose to distract herself with some TV. I knew her mind was racing just like mine was.
“Reyna,” I broke the silence that had invaded us for too long. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to dismiss you like that,” I said, and she turned to me.
“It’s cool,” she responded and turned her attention back to the TV. She had turned cold, and it was like she wasn’t interested in continuing the conversation. This is what I hated about love. Putting yourself out there meant disappointment, hurt, and rejection. I was trying to wave a white flag, and she didn't notice.
I walked over to her and sat down. I placed my hand on her thigh and she tensed up.
“Reyna, you know that I care about you, right?” I said as I tried to look into her eyes.
“Bryce, I don’t know what to believe anymore,” she said as she turned to face me fully. “I just feel like I’m not enough for you. You might like me or feel like you like me, but business will always come first. It's hard to know what you really mean.” I could tell that she was holding back tears, and it made my shoulders tense up.
“Reyna, that’s not true. You mean so much more to me,” I said as I gently wiped the tear that had escaped from her eye. She leaned into my touch and I felt like we were making progress.
“Then why can’t you say that you love me?” she asked as she looked up at me.
I froze. I didn’t know how to answer that question. I did love her, but I was afraid of falling too deep too fast. I didn’t want to get hurt again. I could feel my heart racing, and the fear rising in my chest. I wanted to answer her, to tell her the truth, but I just couldn’t find the words.
Suddenly, she moved even closer, and I could feel the warmth radiating from her skin. Her voice was gentle as she said, “It’s okay if you don’t. I understand. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to force you to say anything you don't want to say.”
I looked into her eyes and knew then that whatever happened, I was safe with her. I took a deep breath, feeling how heavy my heart was. I hated that I couldn’t just say the words when I knew I felt that way. I was afraid of making myself vulnerable because I knew I would be giving Reyna power over me.
“Bryce?” she prompted when I didn’t respond.
“I just don’t want to make promises that I’m not sure I can keep,” I said, and the glimmer of hope that was once in her eyes melted away.
