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I heard her breathe on the other end of the line.
"You wanna tell me about it?"
I took a deep breath.
"I do, but I don't know where to start."
"Start anywhere."
"Well, the summary is that I'm a fuck-up. I've always been a fuck-up and I don't know if I can stop being a fuck-up because I'm so fucking good at it. So, I'm not sure this is what you want in a life partner."
She giggled. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that? On the plus side, youarea good fuck."
Now it was my time to laugh. She always knew what to say to lighten the mood.
"But seriously, Rey. I've been thinking about my life and I don't even know how to unravel it and how to fix myself. I'm a workaholic. I was a bona fide playboy. I've had more meaningless relationships than I can count. I don't even know how to figure out emotions because I've been pushing them down for too long. All in the name of business. That's the world I know, and that's the world I feel most comfortable in. But it's not real life."
"Bryce, this is amazing."
"What? Me being confused about myself is amazing?"
"Yes. You know the first step is admitting the truth to yourself? It can only go up from there."
"You think? Well, I feel pretty fucking worthless right now. Like, everything I've done, everything I've built. Was it all worth it? Why was I such a dickhead?"
"You're not a dickhead. You're human. A perfectly flawful human. You can only change when you realize you need to change."
"But seriously, Reyna. If you want to leave me, I will understand. You can break the contract. You can jump off this crazy ride. I just wanted you to know that. I'm a huge work in progress and I'm not sure it's worth it for you to hang around."
"Oh, I'm hanging around. It's going to take more than your personal realizations to make me want to leave you. In fact, I find it really sexy."
Oh God. That huskiness in her voice. I closed my eyes and willed my dick to stop reacting.
"Rey, I just want to be with you."
"I'm here. I'll be here when you're back. In fact, on that note, your mom gave me a very juicy project to work on for the Foundation. I'm going to be far too busy to think about you and your imperfections. So, I suggest you stop thinking about them too, do your work, have a ton of fun, and then get your amazing ass back home to me as soon as you can. Okay?"
I scrubbed my hand over my face and laughed. How did I get so lucky?
"Okay?" Reyna repeated.
"Okay."
"Alright, now go rest your pretty little eyes for your meetings tomorrow. This girl has got to get some shuteye."
"Good night, Reyna. And thank you."
"Any time. And good night to you, too."
I looked at the phone for a few minutes before putting it down. Coming to the conclusion that you're a fuck-up sure is humbling. But, as Reyna said, it can only go up from here.
Chapter 27
Reyna
Workingonthezooevent was like spiking my blood with adrenaline. I was in full planning mode. I remember loving getting my hands in the clay, so to speak, in my previous projects. When you become manager, you don't get to do that as much. But I was loving it.
I loved the collaboration with my team, I loved talking to the zoo people, I just loved everything about it. The fact that it was for a good cause was just the icing on the cake.
