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“Congratulations, we’re going to have another one join our family!” my mother exclaimed, hugging me tightly.
“And you, young man, are going to be a father,” my father said to Bryce with a grin.
Charles and Joanne caught Bryce in a tight hug. This would be their first grandchild and they were both visibly overjoyed. They came over to give me a hug and kiss.
We all laughed and celebrated the good news. Though, in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but worry about how we were going to navigate this new chapter in our lives. Bryce and I were still just trying to figure out things between us. Having a baby was an unexpected pressure we didn’t need. Not at the moment. Especially when I knew he didn't want children. Or marriage. My stomach lurched when I thought of it all.
Having our family around was making the atmosphere lighter, though. It’s exactly what we needed, but as time went on, even they would have to leave. And there was a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head.
After everyone left, Bryce sat on the chair next to my bed. He appeared to be drowning his thoughts in a crossword puzzle, but I could tell he had a lot on his mind, just like me.
“Bryce,” I called out to him, and he turned to me. “I think you and I need to talk,” I said, and he took a big, visible gulp. I knew he was afraid of what I had to say next.
“Reyna, we don’t have to do it now. You need to rest,” he said, trying to brush off the subject, but I wasn’t going to let it go.
“I’m resting. We can talk while I’m resting,” I protested. Bryce sighed heavily and put his crossword puzzle down.
“Let’s talk,” he said with a tone of resignation.
“Do you really want to marry me or are you just doing it for the PR?” I asked him.
“Reyna, I’ve told you over and over again that I love you,” he responded.
“That’s not what I asked,” I interrupted him.
Bryce looked up at me, and I could see the hint of fear in his eyes. He knew that this was a conversation we needed to have, but he didn't know how to approach it.
"Reyna, why would you even think that?" he asked, his voice tinged with hurt.
I took a deep breath before responding.
"Bryce, you're pretty much famous around here, and now with the news of the baby, our lives are going to change even more. I just need to know that you're with me for the right reasons," I explained, trying to keep my emotions in check.
Bryce leaned forward, taking my hand in his. "Reyna, I love you. The PR stuff is just extra. I want to marry you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he said, his voice softening.
“Then I want an intimate wedding and no cameras rolling. Can it be just our moment?” I demanded, and Bryce sighed.
“Reyna, we talked about this. I can’t control that I have an image to deliver. We have to have cameras rolling. It’s not like our wedding is going to be live or anything. It’s just going to be bits and pieces of footage for social media and the tabloids. It’s the only thing I’m asking out of this because it’s good for the company and that's the reason we agreed to do this in the first place,” he tried to negotiate.
“Does it not matter that I don’t want that?” I asked in a frustrated tone. The room seemed to grow colder and the air thicker as the words hung in the air between us. I looked away, unable to meet his gaze, and noticed the dismal grey walls that encased us, a reminder of everything that had gone wrong. They were bare and painted a dull shade of grey I hadn’t noticed before. But now I noticed it was reflecting my mood.
He watched me silently, waiting for my response. I wanted so badly to scream at him, to tell him he was wrong, that Ididwant this, that I had dreamed of it, but that had all changed. But I was silent because my mind was empty. I felt like I had nothing left to say and nothing left to give.
“You’re being selfish,” he said finally. “You wanted a marriage, you got it, you wanted a kid and now we’re having it. Would it be so wrong if I also got something out of it?” His words were cutting and hurtful. I was trying my best not to cry.
“There it is again. You make it sound like you don’t want any of this. That this is just a business transaction,” I responded, my voice shaking. I wanted him to understand the inner turmoil I was feeling. I wanted him to know the pain and confusion I was going through.
But he didn’t. He just stood there, staring at me with an intense look in his eyes, as if he was waiting for me to make the next move. Finally, he sighed and said in a low voice, “We can talk about it later.” He then turned, ready to leave the room.
“Bryce!” I called out to him and he turned to face me. “I think we should call the wedding off. I don’t want to go through with it anymore.” The words came out without me thinking things through.
“Reyna, you’re upset. We don’t have to do anything drastic,” Bryce tried to negotiate with me.
“No, I’m done. We’re done,” I said, and I regretted the words as soon as they came out. Bryce didn’t respond. He walked out of the room, leaving me alone. I broke into tears, knowing full well I didn't mean what I said.
I promised not to hurt him and I had hurt him. But he wasn’t making things easy for me. I just wanted us to live our lives without having to answer to anyone for once. With Bryce, it seemed like the PR had to always work its way into our relationship, and it made me question, well, everything. Every outward gesture was suspect. Is it for me, or for the PR? What really was genuine?
My eyes wouldn’t dry as the tears continued to flow. I cried myself to sleep, hoping that Bryce would fight a little harder for me. I didn’t want to lose him, but I would have to let him go if he couldn’t stop obsessing about PR.
