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Chapter 32
Bryce
Asthedayswentby, nothing seemed to make sense. I hated being at my condo because every inch of it now reminded me of Reyna and how nothing was the same without her there. I decided to move in with my parents for a while as I healed and faced my new reality. It hurt so bad. I hadn’t felt this much pain in a long time and that was why I was hesitant to open my heart to someone.
I knew I’d be let down again and I should’ve let things between me and Reyna be just about sex. Keep it contractual. That's why business was such a great place to be. Wham, bam, get what you want, get out of there and find the next thing to work on.
My days were spent hanging out at my parents’ pool and yes, maybe drinking a little too much. I had become an expert at drowning reality in a sea of alcohol, trying to forget what I had done. But when I least expected it, Reyna's fierce brown eyes and long dark hair, a vision that had once made my heart swell with love, came rushing back to me.
I wanted to reach out to her and find out how she was doing. She was carrying my child, and I had a right to know, but I wanted to give her space.
Every night I thought of calling, and every morning I stopped myself at the thought of the pain and anger and disappointment that I was sure would be in her voice. I was caught in an endless cycle of guilt and indecision, of wanting to be with her and not wanting to face her.
I wanted to erase the past, but I was terrified that if I did, the future would be even darker.
I found out that she too, had gone home to her parents so that she could spend some time with her family, and I understood. In times like these, one just needed to be around the people who loved and understood the most. It had been a few days since the news of us calling off the wedding was all over the blogs, and already my voicemail was filled with messages of condolence and questions about what had happened. Looking over the list of messages, I realized they were mostly from blogs that were hoping to get the full detailed story first. There were a few messages from friends and colleagues, but I hadn't answered. I could tell by the sound of their voices that they were sad for me.
The worst part, though, was that Reyna had mailed the engagement ring back. Were we really over just like that? It hurt, and I just wished I could flip a switch and forget about her. If only that was possible. But how could I forget the love of my life, who was going to be the mother of my child? Knowing that we had created such a special bond made it even more difficult for me to let it all go.
My parents welcomed me with open arms, and I knew that I could rely on them for the emotional support I needed. I needed to fight harder. I had done everything I could to show Reyna that what we had was no longer just about PR. What else did she want from me? I took another sip from my whiskey bottle as I adjusted my shades to block off the bright rays of the summer sun.
The sun was so bright that I could feel its warmth from behind the glass, but I didn't want to be blinded. I wanted to take in the beauty of the day, to remember every moment of it - the salty air, the sound of the waves crashing against the beach, the smell of the sea, which was not so far from my parents’ home, and the sight of the glorious horizon.
All I wanted to do was to take a few moments to relax and take in the beauty of the day, but instead, all I could think of was Reyna. It felt like I had done everything I could to make her understand how I felt, but she still seemed to be holding back. I knew I needed to take a stand, to fight for what I believed in, but I just kept fucking everything up. I had never been in a situation like this before, and I didn't know what to do.
I looked up at the sky and saw a single seagull soaring gracefully, and it made me realize that if I wanted to reach Reyna, I needed to be strong. I needed to fight for what I wanted and to express my feelings clearly. I knew that if I didn't do that, nothing would ever change, and I would regret it for the rest of my life. Taking a deep breath, I let out a long exhale before I finally made up my mind. I had to do this. I had to fight for us.
But where was I even to start? I felt stuck. My thoughts were interrupted when a shadow stood between me and the sun.
“Bryce, your dad and I are worried about you,” my mother’s voice sounded concerned. “You can’t be like this forever,” she added.
“Mom, I’m just taking a break. I'll be fine,” I responded.
“Have you tried calling Reyna and finding out how she is doing?” she asked. I could tell that although she seemed calm about everything, she was desperate for me to fix things with Reyna. I wished she would understand that mentioning her so often wasn’t in any way helping me.
“Mom, Reyna wants space, just like I want mine. You and Dad crowding that space doesn’t help,” I responded, ready to take another pitiful sip, but my mom snatched the bottle away from me.
“Bryce, I will not watch you kill yourself with alcohol. You wake up every day and find comfort in a bottle of whisky. Besides, your dad is pretty upset that you keep taking from his expensive collection,” she scolded me and I sighed, feeling frustrated and annoyed. "You need to face your feelings and talk to Reyna. You can't keep running away from this. Space or no space, you need to reach out and let her know you're there if she needs you. There's more at stake here. There's a baby on the way, so buck up." Her words stung, but deep down, I knew she was right. I couldn't keep drowning myself in alcohol and avoiding the real issue at hand.
"I know, Mom. I just don't know what to say to her," I admitted, feeling vulnerable.
"Then start with the truth. Tell her how you feel," my mom said gently.
I took a deep breath and nodded. Maybe it was time to confront my feelings instead of numbing them. Time to face the fucking music, once and for all. I realized I have just been avoiding dealing with emotions in the past. It's easy to just run, but Mom was right. The baby changes things. Hell, Reyna changes things.
I grabbed my phone and dialled. My heart raced as I pressed the call button, not knowing what to expect. After a few rings, she answered.
"Hello?" her voice was hesitant and guarded.
"Hey, Reyna. It's Bryce," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds before Reyna spoke again.
"What do you want, Bryce?" she asked curtly.
"I just wanted to talk to you. To see how you were doing," I replied, feeling foolish for trying to fix things when it seemed like she had already made up her mind.
"I'm fine," she said coldly.
