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"Reyna, please. Can we talk about us? About what happened?" I pleaded, feeling desperate.
Again, there was silence on the other end. My heart was beating fast as I waited for her response.
“Bryce, now is not a good time,” she responded, and my heart shuttered again. “I’m visiting my parents right now.”
“When is a good time? I can come to Chattanooga if you’d rather talk in person,” I pleaded with her.
“No, please don’t do that. I don’t want you to fly here,” she responded, and her rejection felt like a cold double-aged blade being driven straight into my heart.
“Reyna…”
“Bryce, you sound drunk and I have to go,” she responded and hung up the phone. My heart couldn’t take the pain anymore. My mom looked at me with pity as she realized that maybe calling Reyna was not the best idea at the moment.
“You see. I told you she doesn’t want to talk. Now stop suggesting that I keep forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do,” I said to her.
“Maybe you need to get your act together and just go to Chattanooga. She could even tell over the phone that you’re drunk and I don’t think anyone wants to solve anything with a drunk person,” my mom responded without remorse. She was right. If I was going to win back Reyna, I needed to get it together.
“Fine, I’ll get my act together and make my way to Tennessee. She said she didn't want me to fly there, but she didn't say I couldn't drive.” My mom rolled her eyes, but then sat next to me and put her arm on mine.
“That baby needs a good father. The bottle is never the solution to your problems, so pick up your big boy boxers and be the dad the baby deserves. I didn't raise you to be a wimp. Prove your love to Reyna, if she'll have you.” Shit. I hate it when Mom gives me tough love. But she was so right. I could feel her steely gaze behind her sunglasses. "And take a bit to sober up. That whiskey is coming out of your pores." We both chuckled.
Silence hung in the air as I collected my thoughts and willed my cells to expel the whiskey.
“I can’t believe I’m going to be a father. I never thought I’d ever be one,” I said in disbelief.
“I raised you well. You’re going to do just fine,” my mom responded with a smile.
“I don’t know, Mom. I’m scared,” I said. But deep down, I knew it was more than just fear. It was the realization that I had pushed away the one person who could have made this journey easier for me. Mom put her hand on my knee.
“It’s okay to be scared, Bryce. We all have to do things when we're afraid sometimes, but we'll never know unless we try, so we must try. Being a strong man doesn't mean hiding behind your big muscular chest and pretending you don't care. It means being vulnerable. THAT, my dear, is true strength. Put your heart on the chopping board and give it your all. Don't be afraid of getting hurt. Getting hurt is a beautiful thing because that means you allowed yourself to love." She paused to let her words sink in through my stubborn head. "Reyna loves you and if you fight for her hard enough, she will take you back. Stop living for the PR game. That's not reality. We all know that. The public might think something, but who cares? You're the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror. You're the one that will be missing the love of your life if you don't step up. It has nothing to do with being a man. It has everything to do with being an authentic human being. If Reyna wants a private relationship, then give her one. Even if it means you’ll have to step down as the CEO. Nothing is worth risking your family,” my mom advised me.
BAM. And there it was.
Of course. Fuck. She was right. What was I holding on to a public image for when I could have a beautiful life with Reyna away from public scrutiny? Reyna and I had been through so much together, and now, with a baby on the way, I didn't want to face it alone. I took a deep breath and stood up from the sun lounger. I was determined to make things right. I needed to go to Tennessee and talk to Reyna in person. I knew it would be tough, but now I had the resolve to do whatever it took for us to get past this rough patch in our relationship.
I quickly sat down. I'm gonna have to wait for this whiskey to wear off.
Chapter 33
Reyna
HanginguponBrycewas the hardest thing I had ever had to do. I had hoped he would call me again, but why would he after he had tried so many times to reach out to no avail? I hate it when your heart and brain are fighting and you just never know what you're going to get.
Each day that we spent apart made me realize I loved him even more than I thought I did. The idea of us being apart for good was excruciating to think about, and I couldn’t bear the thought. There were times when I would badly want to reach out to him and tell him that I wanted to work things out but when I thought about how he was making our relationship into just a PR stunt, I felt like we would never be on the same page.
My belly was not yet showing, but I could feel that there was a life growing inside me and that kept me going. I told myself that this could be my fresh start as a mother. Maybe I’d even start my PR firm in California where there were a host of public figures and plenty of clients to go around. Bryce's recent trip there proved that. I could be the "single mother who conquered the world".
I was already making plans for my future without Bryce, but beneath all the bravado, it just didn’t feel right. But, on the other hand, I didn’t know what to do to make things right. Why couldn’t I just give Bryce a chance to make things right? After all, he had shown me he was willing to try. I was sure that after I had hung up and refused to talk, he wasn’t going to waste his time trying again.
There was a family barbeque and I could hear people downstairs chatting and laughing as they had a good time. I knew they had thrown me one to try to cheer me up because they disguised it as a welcome home party. But they were more than aware that I was devastated. I moved to the window to look down in the yard and my heart was filled with both joy and utter sadness. Watching my brothers together with their wives and children made me wish that Bryce and I could give our child the same, too. A family where both the mother and father are present. Even though he kept on telling me that he wanted the baby and to be a part of its life more than anything else, I wasn’t sure if he meant it or if he just wanted to win me over.
I wished I could stop cracking my head with the what-ifs and just go downstairs to be with my family. After all, that was the reason why I had come up to Chattanooga. Watching my brothers' kids run around and play with my dad made me smile. I couldn’t wait to add my little one to the list and I knew no matter what, my family would be there for my child, and so would Bryce’s parents.
A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. I knew it was my mom who had been bothering me to come down and join everyone else.
“Come in,” I called out. The door opened, and I was a little disappointed that it really was her. A part of me was hoping that it would be Bryce. I knew I was being silly. Why would he bother to come here when all I had been to him was cold?
“Hey honey,” my mom greeted me, coming into my room and closing the door behind her.
