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“Shit, Shae. I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you all right?” He waved at Taco with his free hand.
I squeezed his fingers. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t.”
“Yeah, Cole?” Taco eyed me, then he ground his molars together, anger evident in his gaze.
“Tell King to call my mom and make sure the bodyguard is there. Whoever is fucking with me is going after my family.”
Taco patted Cole on the back. “Anything you need, man.”
“I need someone to get us out of here, too. Shae needs me close, and I can’t help her while I’m driving.”
“I got you. Let me talk to King first. We’ll need to hide my bike somewhere safe, then I’ll get it later.”
Cole nodded, then focused on me again. “Samuel and Mom will be all right, Shae.”
The next several minutes were a flurry of activity as the men took care of business. Once Taco joined us, Cole loaded me back into the truck, but this time I sat between both men. Cole held my hand even though I was covered in death.
All I could think about was a hot shower. I would be able to scrub the filth off my skin, but I wasn’t sure I would ever feel clean again. Rape wasn’t the kind of dirty that washed down the drain. It was the kind that buried its claws into my fractured soul.
* * *
A few hours later, Cole helped me to the master bathroom of his house. The bikers were on high alert and pissed as hell that Ibrahim had kidnapped me. Some of them offered to keep an eye on the situation and had remained outside, keeping watch. King had talked to Julia and updated her and Daddy. I knew I would have to speak to them soon, but I had to clean up first.
I watched as Cole turned on the shower, his blue eyes weary as he looked at me. “Shae?” He tipped my chin up, bringing my attention to him. “I need to know what happened.”
I jerked away from his touch. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You killed him.”
He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. “It does matter. Tell me.”
I barked out a laugh. “Youneedto know?” Tugging on my blood-splattered T-shirt, I pulled it over my head and tossed it in the trash. My bra and shorts were next. I wasn’t sure what had happened to my G-string, but I wasn’t wearing it anymore. It wouldn’t have made a difference. Ibrahim’s come would have ruined my underwear. I stood in front of Cole, naked. “What do you see?” My voice hitched, and my throat grew tight. Deep inside myself, I realized that Cole wouldn’t see me the same as before Ibrahim had assaulted me.
“The beautiful woman that I would do anything for,” he whispered, keeping eye contact.
“I’m going to give you an opportunity to retract your statement, Cole.” I tore my gaze away, tears streaming down my cheeks. “He raped me.” I dared a glance at him, expecting to see pity on his face. “He fucked my pussy, then my ass, then …” I choked on the brutality of my words. “He fucked me with the barrel of the gun while he had his finger on the trigger, Cole.” My shoulders shook from my sobs, but I refused to turn away.
I braced myself for his cruel words. Cole had never held his tongue, so why would he now? But also, I had to know once and for all. I needed Cole to tell me that he wasn’t interested in my weak, abused, and discarded shell because I was no longer the girl he used to know. I wasn’t sure his rejection could make my bruised and broken heart any worse, but once he confirmed what I suspected I could at least walk away from him for good after today.
Cole’s fist shot forward, busting a hole in the wall. “It’s a good thing I killed that fucker, or I’d go after him right now.” He scrubbed his face with his palms, then he placed his hands on his hips and looked at the floor. When he looked at me again, tears welled in his eyes. “I’ll say it again and again. I see the beautiful woman that I would do anything for. I was a fucking idiot for leaving. I’ll make it up to you somehow, Shae. Just give me another chance to set it right.”
I wasn’t sure I was hearing him correctly. “You can’t save me, so stop staring at me like you can.” I moved around him, opened the glass door of the shower, and stepped under the hot spray. I was sick and tired of wearing Ibrahim. His blood was caked on my arms, making me itch. I started to scrub my skin when Cole strode in behind me and closed the door. Naked. I gulped as I looked over every hard plane of his chest, biceps, abs, his prominent V, and toned legs. His long cock was soft, which told me where his mood was. He wasn’t trying to fuck me. For a moment, I was trapped in the twisted knots of his stare, unable to speak.
“Let me help. You have blood and white chunks in your hair.”
Briefly, Cole seemed awkward and vulnerable concerning the situation, then the mask of anger I knew too well slipped into place.
“I can’t have sex with you, Cole. As much as I want to …”
A flicker of surprise flashed in his eyes. “I would never ask. That’s not why I’m in the shower with you, Shae. Honestly, I was afraid you might freak out, and I can’t leave you alone. If anything else happens … I have to protect you. One of my pistols is on the bathroom counter, so don’t flip your shit when you see it.”
I nodded. “Can you teach me to use one?” I was surprised to hear myself ask that question when Ibrahim had just raped me with the barrel of a gun. But if I’d carried, I might have had a chance to defend myself and stop Ibrahim before he hurt me.
“Yeah. King taught me, so when you’re ready I’ll have him help, too.”
“Okay.” I returned to washing my arms and face, then rinsed the soap from my skin.
Cole grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squeezed the yellow liquid into his palm. I made sure my hair was completely wet, then turned my back to him. His fingers gently worked through my long strands as he picked chunks of white matter out and dropped them onto the tan tiled floor.
Afraid that I would break down again, I realized I needed to talk. “Why did you leave last night without saying goodbye?” I placed my palm against the wall for balance as he continued.
