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Cole slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. I placed my palm against his stomach, feeling safe and secure in his touch. I glanced up, losing myself in his gaze for a moment. “If I’d died, Cole, what would you have regretted not telling me?”Shit. I just went there.I hadn’t meant to. Hell, I wasn’t even sure he would answer my question, but apparently, my brain was seeking answers without my mouth’s consent.
Cole smoothed my hair, then bent down and pressed his lips to mine. Soft. Sweet. So gentle and a complete contrast to the savage that I was used to seeing. He stepped away and stroked my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “So many things, Shae. So many things.” His chest heaved with his words. “Soon.”
Disappointment tugged at me. “I understand, but will you answer one thing?”
“I’ll try.” His voice was husky and gruff. His emotions danced across his face, revealing how tough and vulnerable he was at the same time.
I took his hand and led him down the driveway to his bike. I pointed to the artwork. “Who is she?”
Cole massaged the back of his neck, staring at the woman on his motorcycle. Guilt shadowed his expression, and a conflicted look painted his features.
ChapterSeventeen
The beat of my pulse ticked off the seconds as Cole and I stood there, hand in hand while I waited for him to answer me.
He ran his fingers through his hair and released a soft sigh. “It’s you, Shae.”
“Me? But why? I don’t understand.” I suspected I understood. I just needed to hear him say it. Plus, I might be wrong. “When was I airbrushed on your bike?”
“Two years ago,” he admitted.
My mouth gaped. “Seriously?”
“It was right after I graduated high school. I was packing for college, and you and Dani had been swimming and getting some sun. You were tan and still a little bit wet. The two of you were walking down the hall to your room, and you tossed your head back and laughed. Anyway, I peeked out of my room, expecting to tell you to shut the fuck-up, but … You were so beautiful in that moment, smiling and happy. I hadn’t seen you smile very often, and all I knew after that was … I wanted to be the one who made you happy.”
I frowned. Confused wasn’t even the right word. “Then why were you such a fucking dick, Cole? What the hell?” I stepped away from him, furious all over again with how he’d treated me.
He massaged the back of his neck, then his crystal-blue eyes bore right into my soul. “Because I’m. Not. Good. For. You.” His tone was firm, yet full of pain. “I know who I am, Shae. I know that I can kill someone without even blinking. I’ve done some bad shit. Eventually, I might join the MC. That’s no life for you. You deserve better.” He blew out a big sigh. “I can’t seem to walk away from you, though. When you went missing, it fucking gutted me. All this time, I’d tried to convince myself I didn’t have feelings for you, then something would happen to make me crazy … like Ibrahim. I almost lost you today. I can’t lose you again, Shae. I fucking can’t. So whatever this is … whatever we are … I know I need to leave you alone because of who I am, but I don’t think I’m capable of it, which makes me a selfish son of a bitch.”
His confession speared right through my heart.
Cole blew out a sigh and stared at the ground. “I figured if I was an asshole to you, then you would leave me alone.”
I threw my hands up in the air, on emotional overload. Why I just had to know about the girl on the bike right this minute was beyond me. But I was a glutton for punishment. “Well that obviously didn’t happen.”
“I put you in danger, Shae. What happened today is on me. My past …” He shook his head and offered me a sad smile. “I keep bouncing between sending you away or keeping you next to me, so I can make sure nothing bad ever happens to you again.”
“Don’t you think I have a say in all of this? What happened today … I don’t know why I became a target, but someone knew you cared about me. But Cole, even if you didn’t care, Ibrahim could have still taken me. I was your stepsister, and a way to get to you. Don’t you get it? I was in your life because our parents fell in love. Your feelings about me wouldn’t have changed that.”
I shifted my weight, mentally weighing my next words. “You humiliated me, Cole. Embarrassed me at Harrison’s party, and were a fucking asshole, but … when you saw the video and I got in your face. You pinned me against the wall and wrapped your fingers around my neck …”Oh Jesus, what was I about to admit? “I liked it. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
The corner of Cole’s mouth lifted into a slight grin. “I would never hurt you. I do like rough sex, but I would never hurt you.”
“And that’s the thing. I instinctively understood that. You might have a monster inside of you, but I see all the good, too. You love your mom more than your own life, and whatever dude romance you and my daddy have …” I lifted a brow and smirked. “He trusts you with my life or I wouldn’t be here. He and Julia would have been here minutes after we arrived.”
Cole chuckled. “Your dad is fucking fierce sometimes. I’ve got a lot of respect for him.”
“Me, too. Cole, I don’t know how things will play out between us, but you’re not responsible for what happened to me. And someday, I hope you can trust me enough to tell me what happened and why you’re in a mess now.”
The crunch of gravel interrupted our conversation. Cole quickly pulled me behind him, and a few of the bikers appeared next to us, guns at their sides. The one shitty thing about Cole’s driveway was that you could hear a car coming before you could see it. I had no idea if it was a friend or an enemy behind the wheel.
“Get her in the house,” Snake said.
Cole scooped me into his arms and ran inside. He didn’t stop until he’d deposited me on the bed. I trembled and my stomach rolled with fear. “Stay.” Before I could reply, he hurried out of the room, closing the door behind him.
“Fuck!” I heard him yell.
Completely disobeying him, I cracked the door open and peeked down the hall.
