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“It was Peter Jacobson.”
Shocked, Teagan’s mouth hit the floor. “Our high school history teacher?”
“We always talked about how hot he was,” I said sheepishly.
She held up a finger as the realization smacked her. “Wait, are you sleeping with him?”
Bracing myself for Teagan to yell at me, I sucked in a breath and cringed. “I was until I moved to Oregon.”
She shot out of the bed and paced the room. “You . . . I . . .” Bewildered, she tossed her hands in the air. “How long?”
“Three years.” My voice was soft as the humiliation consumed me.
“Three years?” Her screech pierced my eardrums.
“You can’t tell the girls. Please. It will only hurt them.” I could only hope that by the time I was finished, Teagan would agree to keep her mouth shut.
Teagan snorted. “Now you want me to keep your secret?”
“If you’ll let me finish, you’ll understand why.”
“Fine. But I’ll remain standing for this.” She folded her arms over her chest.
“At first, I figured it was innocent flirting. Peter asked me to stay after class one day after a test. I swear I thought he was going to accuse me of cheating, but he offered to work with me on a project.”
Teagan tilted her head. “The essay contest for the achievement scholarship?”
“Yeah. Even then I knew I wanted to break away from Daddy’s money and stand on my own two feet.”
“I get it. You know my parents think they can dictate my choices as long as they are paying for everything.” Her expression briefly softened.
“I realize Dad is trying to help, but I want to make my own decisions for a change. Sometimes he’s too much . . .” I retreated into my head and tried to block out the bad memories.
Staring out the large hospital window at the cloudless, star-filled sky, I reined in the emotions that threatened to suck me into a dark hole. I had lost my entire world after the fire, but I couldn’t talk about it with Teagan.
I cleared my throat and continued.
“It was as if Peter could sense that I was broken. At first, the attention was flattering. He made me feel special, wanted. It was our secret, and I felt alive again.”
Teagan sank into the chair next to my bed. “We all want that, Phoebs.”
“He took it slow, but after a few months of touching and kissing, he wanted more. So did I, or so I thought.” I closed my eyes in a vain attempt to shut out the horrible memories, but I had to keep going.
“The sex was amazing at first, then he started to punish me if I didn’t do what he wanted. Eventually, he coaxed my secrets out of me, then it turned into blackmail. If I handed in a paper and it wasn’t to his satisfaction, he would strip me of my clothes, tie me up in his closet, and leave me for hours.”
Teagan blinked at me as if she hadn’t heard me correctly. “What? That’s abuse.”
“That wasn’t the worst of it.”
Her forehead creased. “The early mornings you crept into our room . . . it makes sense now.”
“And the reason I wouldn’t walk around the dorm in my bra and panties or wear a bikini . . .” I sat up slowly, my head giving me a big fuck you, but I ignored it. “My lower back,” I whispered, pulling the gown to the side.
Teagan’s gasp filled the room.
“Jesus. What the fuck?”
I remained silent and allowed Teagan to absorb what she saw before I spoke again. “I was in his office with him that evening and tried to run away. This was my punishment . . . and my nightmare the other night.” I peeked over my shoulder at my best friend. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared at my exposed skin. “He carved his name into me. It took hours and he dragged out the pain until I passed out, then he would wake me again. Blood was everywhere. Remember when I had mono? I didn’t. It was a fake doctor’s note so I wouldn’t have to dress out for phys ed or sit in a chair all day while my back was healing. I was terrified someone would find out.”
