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Draven scanned the letter in his hand. “There’s no easy or gentle way of saying this.”
By Dallin, how bad could it be? “Just say it.”
“Lark is… His real name is Zayan. He’s Prince Razak’s brother.”
My smile twitched. “What?”
“His name is Zayan and—”
“No, I heard you, I just—” I looked away, at the wall, at the swirls in the wallpaper and the flickering oil lamps. “Razak doesn’t have a brother.”
Draven took a few steps closer, his face as troubled as mine. “That’s what everyone thought. But it seems the traitor’s son refers to a bastard son, born out of wedlock to Umair, Pain’s missing king. The traitor was Lark’s mother, and she had a son with Umair.”
This couldn’t be true. Lark couldn’t be Razak’s brother. The implications were too huge. “There must be a mistake. Who gave you this information, how do you know it’s not rumor?”
“The news came from the Court of Justice.” He raised the letter, showing me the blue seal. “There is no doubt.”
Lark was Razak’s brother?
I slumped to the side and covered my mouth with a hand, if only to hide my grimace and perhaps my shame. Had I been so duped? Was he truly my foolanda prince? Half a prince, I supposed, illegitimate, but he must have known all along.
Hehadplayed me like a fiddle.
Draven was beside me suddenly, on his knee, his hand on mine. “I’m sorry, Arin. This must be a shock. I know you thought you could trust him.”
I laughed, hiding what could have been a sob. “You were right. All of you. I was wrong about all of it.”
Draven’s fingers tightened, clutching my hand to my leg. “This is what Pain does, they twist things. Nobody is blaming you for—”
“For caring for him?” I barked a laugh, and now a sob did escape. “Perhaps my heart is the weakest part of me, and that’s why I’ve lost everything.” Draven began to deny it but saw my glare and cut himself off before he could speak. “Was there anything else in that letter?”
“Yes, he er… Razak has legitimized Lark as his brother. Which means Lark is arriving alongside him as a nobleman, in a position of power.”
Two brothers, two princes.
I fought to keep my grimace from turning into a sour laugh. “By Dallin, I should have killed him, just like Ogden said. I had Lark in my hands, on his knees. I should have cut his throat.”
Draven’s eyes widened. “Arin, listen… This isn’t your fault.”
Pieces of my heart were breaking off, turning jagged and sharp inside my chest. “You don’t understand. We… were together. I thought that meant something. I’m such a fuckin’ fool.”
“I understand you’re a good man, and you were trying to do the right thing.”
It hurt. It hurt so much I wanted to rip out my own damned heart and crush it so it didn’t hurt anymore. What use was I, what use was love, if it was so blind? “What use is a good man with countless dead and my lands gone? Because of me?!”
Draven’s arm hooked around my shoulders and hauled me half off the chair and up against his chest. I shoved, tried to push away, but the more he embraced me, the more my strength crumbled. I gave one final, pathetic push, but the message got lost, and that final shove turned into closing my fist in his shirt. I clutched his shoulder, tucking myself close, and the pain spilled over. I’d lost it all, lost everything—my family, my home, my people, my heart. I should have done more, been better, smarter, stronger. I’d failed everyone. I was weak, I was the fool, and the whole of the shatterlands knew it.
To think I’d cared for him.
Draven said something, murmured in what may have been War’s language, I wasn’t sure, but it soothed my fractured mind. I stayed in his arms, perched awkwardly on the edge of the chair and half on his knee. It felt good to be held, just held; it felt as though the world outside, with all its pain, no longer existed.
“We’re going to stop them.” He clutched my face in his warm hands and peered into my eyes. “I will kill Razak for you.”
I wanted that. I wanted it so much I couldn’t speak. I nodded, too broken for words.
I had to get myself together. This wasn’t me, I didn’t fall apart. Not when my mother had taken her own life, not when I’d learned of my father’s indiscretions, not even when I’d woken to learn Razak had burned my world to ash. I always stayed together.
Draven stroked tears from my face. “You will have vengeance, I promise you this, on our joining day.”
