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“If Lark hadn’t returned at our joining, we might have had our moment, but he was always in your heart.”
Hearing him speak of the things I’d struggled with was a relief too. He understood, of course he did. He was a good man. A good friend. Better than me.
He placed his hand on mine and squeezed. “What happened in Pain? Did you get the crown?”
“No. It’s not there. Lark did discover some letters. I’ve read them, have them with me in fact. You’re welcome to take a look. Umair was searching for a font of power too, like Razak. He went to Justice to find it, taking Pain’s crown with him. As far as anyone knows, he’s not been seen since.”
“Then you think Umair is in Justice?”
“I don’t know.” It seemed a stretch. Justice had always been the pillar upon which the courts leaned. If it was found to be corrupt, then all laws would collapse. “I don’t understand why they’d keep him there and not tell anyone.”
“Unless he’s dead?” Draven suggested, coming to the same conclusion as the rest of us.
“If he’s dead, and they know, Razak has good reason to go after them,” Draven said, thinking aloud. “If Razak has evidence Justice were engaged in foul play, then he has leverage against Justice’s court.”
“Which gives him power there, like he had in War.” And my court. Secrets were Razak’s main weapons, and our undoing.
Draven nodded. “It seems likely he’ll get his hands on Justice’s crown.” Draven peered into his wine. “Well, fuck. That’s a whole lot of bad right there.”
“At least he doesn’t have War’s crown.” Thank Dallin War’s crown was safe. And now Ogden was aware of the threat Razak posed, the Prince of Pain wouldn’t get near it. Not even with his spies in every court. War’s crown was safe, for now.
“Right.” Draven gulped his wine and winced. “What happened to Lark?” he asked, glancing over. “You seem pissed. What did he do?”
“What makes you think hedidsomething?”
He snorted. “Trouble runs through his veins. And he wouldn’t know a good thing if it hit him in the face.”
“We were discovered, we fled. He locked me in a carriage and sent me here. I couldn’t stop him. He stayed behind, knowing they’d capture him and wouldn’t waste time coming after me.” Was I pissed? Yes. Saying it aloud again brought it all back. His locking me in the carriage, his face as he’d watched me leave, as I’d hurled hurtful words at him.
Draven twisted on the stool and frowned. “Lark sacrificed his freedom for yours?”
“Yes, that’s exactly it. The prick.”
Draven blinked, huffed an impressed laugh, and scooped up his drink. “I didn’t think him capable of caring for anyone but himself.”
“You’ve never forgiven him for the fall of my court, have you?”
“Your heart is kinder than mine, Arin. It’s why—” He cleared his throat. “It’s why I care for you like I do. You’re willing to forgive terrible things.”
I’d forgiven Lark because I knew the events that brought down my court weren’t of his design. “I don’t forgive without reason. Lark is as much a victim as I am. Perhaps more so.”
Draven smiled, but his smiles were always warm and this one wasn’t. “I wish you’d find someone more worthy of your heart than Lark.”
Lark was more than worthy, but Draven didn’t see it. Few people did. Lark didn’t show his true self to anyone, so how could anyone truly know him?
“I love him,” I said. It really was that simple.
Draven winced. “Does he know?
“I told him.”
“Did he tell you he loved you in return?”
“No, but… It’s not about that. It doesn’t matter if he…” I rubbed my face. The wine was going to my head, loosening my tongue, blurring my thoughts. “It doesn’t matter. I love him. He knows it. And that’s all. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Why?” He stilled. “Do you think I haven’t loved?”
“No, I mean…” His frown turned into a glower. “I’m sorry, of course you have.” He’d had a child. A son. And while I did not know much about having children, love was surely a part of raising them.
