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“I’ve known love.” He turned away and sent his gaze out of the window, to somewhere far away. “Lost it too.”
Of course he’d loved. For a Prince of Love, I didn’t know much about it. “You never talk about them.”
“What is there to say? It just prolongs the hurt. I’d hoped, you and I… I’d foolishly thought I might find love again with you.”
“Draven—”
He waved my words away and drank his wine. “It’s fine, really. And I understand, when you say you love him, I understand that, Arin. Don’t assume I don’t because I don’t show it.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. What happened to them?”
“We were joined young and the boy came along soon after. He was…” His voice quivered. “It’s over now.”
I shuffled a little closer and laid a hand on his arm. “If I could give you that love again, I would.”
He raised soft eyes. “Renouncing our joining didn’t dull my feelings. I’d have you as my husband again in heartbeat.”
I didn’t want to hurt him, but at the same time, I didn’t want him thinking there was anything between us beyond friendship. “You’re a good friend, Draven.”
“A friend, yeah.” He chuckled darkly. “Who you’ll fuck when Lark isn’t around.”
That wasn’t fair, but I let it slide. He was hurting, probably from mention of his son. We drank in silence, and if I didn’t change the subject soon, I’d ruin both our evenings. This was supposed to be a positive meeting, a chance to put our heads together and decide how to move forward.
“You said there were letters?” he asked.
“Oh, yes, and these.” I pulled the documents from my pocket, unfolded them, and slid them across the table. “Lark found these documents in Pain’s vaults. It appears to be a list of names, numbers, and ages. Most are young, under thirteen. Do you have any idea what it pertains to?”
Draven angled the papers toward him and scanned the information. “Court of War Benefits? These are people.”
“Yes.” I leaned closer, bumping his shoulder. “Mostly children.”
“What happened to this section?” he asked, referring to the water-damaged top sheet.
“Ah, Lark didn’t tell me he’d stashed them in my pocket when he shoved me in the carriage. When it rained while I was on the road, they got soaked.”
“Had you read it before it was damaged?” Draven shuffled the papers, scanning them again. They didn’t seem to mean any more to him than they did me.
“No, as I said, I didn’t know I had them. He gave me coin too, told me to have a new life. Can you believe him?” I clipped my tone, refusing to go over the same emotional ground about Lark until I saw him again. I’d rage at him then. “He said something strange about you though. I’m not sure it makes any sense.”
“What was it?”
“He told me not to trust you.”
Draven’s eyes widened. “Not to trustme?” He laughed. “That’s rich, coming from him.”
“I thought it strange as well.”
“It’s notthatstrange.” He folded the papers and slid them back across the bar. “He knew you were meeting with me. He also knows we are—were—intimate. In all likelihood, he was jealous, perhaps afraid we’d rekindle our connection.”
It was possible. Lark had never believed he was good enough for me. He probably saw Draven as a good match, thinking himself unworthy, no matter how many times I told him how I was the unworthy one.
Draven turned his head and his gaze dropped to my mouth. We sat close, too close, our shoulders touching. I’d moved forward to examine the papers and hadn’t thought anything of it.
I cleared my throat, grabbed the papers, and shifted back.
“I don’t know what that list means,” he said, looking away again. “Benefits implies Pain uses those people for something. But as to what, it doesn’t say. Lark told you nothing else?”
“There wasn’t time.” We were missing something, something obvious. “It’s strange how he went to the trouble of handing them over. The letters have importance, so these documents must mean something too, I just don’t know what. Perhaps their meaning was in the ruined section?”
