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“Perhaps, one day, when I’m free of Razak. But not while he’s drawing breath and his heart still beats.”
“Can you imagine a life like that, with your Prince of Love? Do you want a good life?”
“Maybe, if I deserve it. And if he’ll have me.” Did I dream of better things? Not before meeting Arin. I hadn’t known anything outside the Court of Pain. I hadn’t even seen a meadow to know such a thing existed. His world, his courthadbeen a dream.
Danyal sighed and scrubbed his hands down his face. “She’d hate this. She’d want you safe. And that’s what I vowed to do.”
“But she’d know I’m right.”
He lifted his head, and from the resignation on his face, I knew I’d won. “I’ll get you into Justice.”
* * *
The Courtof Love had never believed in borders. They’d allowed all to come and go freely. War had its infamous walls around its court, and few wanted to enter Pain. But Justice was altogether different. Mountainous peaks jutted from vicious crevasses and savage gorges. It was said that Dallin had grown so furious with the shatterlands, he’d struck it from above, and Justice’s land had taken the brunt of his wrath, shattering into jagged fragments. Thus, the shatterlands were made, and the court of Justice built upon its wound, as though to fix it.
Dallin had always been a story, but when Danyal left me with the wagon in the tree line and crossed the enormous swinging bridge from one side of a cliff to the other, with nothing but a bottomless drop into thick mists below, I wondered if I’d been too quick to dismiss Dallin as a myth. An atmosphere of foreboding hung over the chasm, as though a great beast waited below, in the mists, eager to devour anyone unworthy, who dared cross into Justice.
I wrapped a thick coat around me, and hidden among the trees, I waited for Danyal’s return. A campfire was forbidden, lest the scouts see the smoke and investigate, so I was left to shiver alone.
Of course, my thoughts wandered to Arin. And so came the guilt for sending him away. He’d be all right. He was the most capable man I knew. Nothing fazed him, not even me. And I’d tried. He’d fought Razak, faced a sandworm, defied his father, and briefly commanded War’s warriors. He’d find a way to move forward, he always did.
But I wanted him by my side. He’d lean into me, tell me he burned the wings off butterflies, and I’d wonder if he was jesting or truthful. He always had me on the backfoot, was forever a surprise. He was my magic in a world sorely lacking wonderment, and I was his beautiful lie.
Perhaps he’d confronted Draven, made the warlord spill his secrets, and they’d fucked with all the hate and spite I knew him capable of harboring. But no, Arin wouldn’t. He was careful with his heart. A heart I’d likely crushed.
Danyal clomped across the bridge, making it swing. I watched from the tree line, until he’d left the bridge and veered off the road.
“They’ll let you in,” he mumbled behind his thick scarf.
“As Zayan?”
“Yes, as Zayan, or Lark. Whatever name you choose.” He climbed into the driver’s seat and gathered up the ice-encrusted reins. The horse snorted clouds from its nostrils and trotted on.
That Justice should justlet me inseemed unlikely. After everything I’d done? “Are you sure?”
He glared from the corner of his eye. “If I were unsure, we’d be riding in the opposite direction.”
I pulled my collar up and hunkered down into my coat’s thick folds. “It’s just… as you said, I have something of a reputation. It seems suspiciously fortuitous that they’d let me in uncuffed and free as a bird.”
He chuckled. “Would you prefer they arrest you?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then don’t question it. Be grateful. Going in as yourself gives you leverage the rest of us common folks don’t have.”
“How so?”
“You’re Prince Zayan. Don’t forget that.”
“Half a prince, when it suits everyone else.”
“Half is enough in the shatterlands.”
The horse shied at the bridge, and I didn’t blame it. Mist swirled far below the timber slats.
“Gee-up.” Danyal clicked the roof of his mouth, urging the animal on. It chewed on its bit and threw its head but walked on. If it bolted, it would take us down into the mist with it. I peered over the edge and fancied I saw reaching hands swirling in those clouds, like the souls of the dead clamoring for life.
We crossed without incident and passed beneath a watchtower, its glass turret fogged from the inside. I couldn’t see the guards, but the weight of their gazes crawled over us. Noemi had come from Justice, and she’d been good. Hopefully, there were more like her inside this frigid realm.
