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Amelia crossed her arms over her chest and didn’t make a move toward him. “Why did you do it?” she asked. “Why did you lie to me and risk your life?”
“It’s my job,” he simply said.
“Don’t give me that bullshit,” she shouted. “You went off and risked your life for your job? I don’t believe that for one minute.”
“That’s because it’s only partially true. The other part is that I did it to keep you and our baby safe. I was given the chance to safe you both and I took it.” She figured as much, but she still needed him to see that they were a team and should have talked his decision over. Instead, he lied to her and went off on his own to do something stupid—something that could have gotten him killed.
“You could have been killed,” she whispered.
“I know, and that’s the part that I really hated. I didn’t want to leave you and our kid. Hell, I want to watch him or her grow up, but I also knew that this is no kind of life for you or the baby, so I did what I thought I had to do,” Spider said.
“Without running it past me,” she added.
“Without running it past you. It killed me not to talk to you about this, but I know what you would have said,” he insisted. He probably did, but that didn’t give him the right to go off on his own and make decisions for them as a family.
“Do you see us as a family, Spider?” Amelia asked.
“Of course, I do,” he said. “I love you and I want to help raise our baby.” She could hear the panic in his voice. He knew what was on the line here and that made what she was about to do a little bit easier.
“I love you too, Spider, but I can’t be with a man who doesn’t include me in his life or the decisions that can change my life. You took off, knowing that it might be the last time that we’d see each other, promising me that you’d be home for dinner. You could be dead right now, and I’d blame myself for not stopping you, but why would I? You didn’t tell me what you were going to do, so why would I have stopped you?”
“You wouldn’t have stopped me,” he whispered.
“You didn’t give me the chance to stop you. Instead, you made the decision to exclude me from what you were about to do and take away all my choices,” she said.
“Shit, honey,” Spider growled, running his hand through his overly long, dark hair. “When you put it like that, you make me sound like the bad guy. I’m not.”
“I don’t think that you’re a bad guy, Spider,” she agreed. “I think that you’re just not the kind of guy who can be part of a partnership that would force you to ask the other person’s opinion. I need that,” she said. “I need to be included in all your decisions that will affect me and this baby,” she said cupping her tummy.
“What are you saying?” he asked.
“I’m saying that I need you to leave. Savage told me that you brought down the Ghosts and got all the major players, and for that, I’m grateful because now, I can go home,” she said.
“We can both go home,” Spider said. “Please, Amelia,” he begged, “we can work this out. I want to be a family. I want you to marry me.”
She shook her head, dropping her hands to her side. “I can’t marry you,” she whispered, “and, I don’t think that we can work this out,” she said. “I need you to leave. I’ll contact you once I get back to Huntsville. I won’t keep you from our baby. You can come to my appointments, and we can work out a schedule once he or she is born, but I can’t be with you anymore, Spider,” she said.
She made the mistake of looking him in the eyes and the anguish she saw staring back at her was almost too much to bear. “I’m sorry, Amelia,” he whispered before turning to leave. She sat back down on the edge of the bed, worried that she had just made the biggest mistake of her life. She listened for the front door to close and when she heard his truck start in the driveway, she lay back on the bed, sobbing. Amelia had just let the only man she had ever loved walk out of her life and at that moment, she knew that she had made a huge mistake she might never be able to correct.
* * *
A week had passed, and all Amelia seemed capable of doing was crying. The guys from Savage Hell kept checking in on her, making sure that she was settled and didn’t need anything, and she knew that they were there because Spider asked them to be. They were probably reporting back to him and after a week of them dropping by and calling, she decided to put an end to their house calls.
She got dressed, which was no easy feet given her expanding waistline and lack of clothing. She was going to have to get a few new things, but that was going to be a problem for another day. Right now, she needed to get down to Savage Hell because Savage had spilled the beans and told her that it was Spider’s weekend to work the bar. She was going to tell him that if he wanted updates on her and the baby, he could stop by and ask her himself. Hell, she wanted to march into that bar and tell him that she was an idiot and had changed her mind about them not being together, but she was sure that wasn’t going to go over well. He seemed pretty hurt when she last saw him and that was on her. Instead of being rational and listening to his side of things, she kicked him to the curb.
Being back in Huntsville had brought back all kinds of bad memories about what had happened to her. Spider made her feel safe and most of all, loved. She needed him in her life if she was going to get through the next few months, even if it was just as friends. His buddies stopping by to check on her was nice, but they weren’t him. She needed Spider and if she had to go to Savage Hell to beg him to be part of her life again, she’d do it.
Amelia walked into the bar and quickly found Spider at the bar, serving beers to the guys and a few pretty women who were hanging around, trying to get his attention. Jealousy roiled in her belly as she stood in the corner of the bar watching them all smile at him. Of course, he smiled back at them, but she could tell that it was just for show. His smile didn’t reach his eyes. In fact, the only thing she could see in his dark eyes was sadness, and that was all her fault.
She walked across the room and sat on a stool at the end of the bar. She could tell as soon as Spider saw her. He made a beeline for her and towered over her. “You can’t be here,” he insisted.
“Why, am I messing up your chances with the pretty blond at the end of the bar? I’d say that I’m sorry, but I’m not,” she sassed.
“No, you can’t be here because you can’t drink. You’re pregnant,” he reminded.
“I don’t need you to remind me. I spent the entire morning throwing up and the rest of the evening trying to find pants that still fit me to come here. I’ve been reduced to sweatpants,” she said, nodding down to her legs. “I’ve never worn sweatpants out to a bar in my life.”
He smiled at her and for just a second, she could see the man she loved. “Why are you here, Amelia?” he asked.
