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When I open my eyes,Carlo’s standing in the room. He’s enshrouded by the darkness, which clings to him in a way that worries me. I look in his eyes, trying to see any inkling of what he’s decided, but it’s carefully black. I check the digital clock on the side of the bed and it’s four a.m.
“Where were you?” I ask quietly.
“I was talking to my brother.”
“Which one?”
“Christian,” he replies before taking a seat on the bed. I sit up as well, pulling my knees up and resting my head on them as I look at him. There’s a lot of space between us. “We had a long conversation. We had some pretty big things to decide.”
“And what did you decide?” I ask, my heart thudding in my chest.
He doesn’t reply. Instead, he starts talking about something else. “You know you bulldozed into my life? Literally, you crashed into me that day at your parents’ party and nothing’s ever been the same since. I hate how much it’s changed. Life was so easy before. I knew what I wanted and I was content. I might not have been happy, but at least I could live every day without this painful feeling in my chest that I get whenever I look at you.”
I suck in a breath. “I’m sorry I hurt you so much.”
“Let me finish.” He glares. “You want to know what that pain is? I feel it every time I look at you. I feel it every time I see you smile, every look, every breath, every kiss. It’s embedded in my heart, the way you make me feel. It drives me fucking insane. You haven’t hurt me, Tori. Because that pain, it’s a reminder that I’m still alive. You make me feel fucking alive.”
He looks at me then, his eyes shining with so much emotion it takes my breath away.
“I once told you that I’m ice and that you were making me thaw. I told you to be patient. Well congratulations,mi amore. Because I don’t feel like fucking ice anymore. You’ve shattered me. I’ve completely melted. You damned us both in the process, though. My heart, my soul, my whole entire being now belongs to you. Because I fucking love you. Do you understand me, Astoria? I love you.”
I swear I’ve stopped breathing. All I can do is stare at Carlo and wonder if those words really came from his lips.
“Would you please say something? I’m losing my mind here,” he mutters.
“And what about the... you know, killing.” I ask him, my voice tinged with concern.
He meets my eyes and reassures me, “I promise to be more discerning when it comes to that.”
I fix him with a skeptical glare. “Alright, let’s be clear, a little bit less doesn’t cut it,” I retort.
He chuckles, “Okay, how about I promise to significantly reduce it? Or I can call you and we can discuss each kill before I pull the trigger?” He suggests.
“What? No. Please don’t do that. Why can’t you just call the police when things go south, like regular people? Not every transgression deserves a death sentence,” I suggest.
He raises an eyebrow, a hint of sarcasm in his tone, “Oh, sure. ‘Hey, officer, this guy owes me $20,000 from some illicit dealings over here.’ I’m sure that would work.”
I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the idea. “Alright, fine, I see your point. But it’s still not good enough.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to Christian and see if we can outsource our... problem-solving.”
My eyes widen, “What?”
He chuckles and places a hand on mine, his tone now earnest, “I’m kidding, love. I’m kidding. I want you to feel safe with me. We’ll figure it out, ok? I promise.”
“Ok?“ he asks
I don’t speak. Instead, I climb into his lap, careful to avoid his injuries. I wrap my arms around his neck, staring into his eyes.
“I love you too,” I whisper, saying the words for the first time.
My heart soars, and when Carlo smiles, it feels like I’m drowning. I kiss him then. Like he’s the air I need to survive.
He kisses me back, searing himself into my heart and soul. The next few moments pass with both of us trying to take off our clothes in a rush. Once his shirt comes off, I stare at the bandage across his stomach and suck my bottom lip into my mouth.
“I don’t think we should have sex,” I say. “You’re injured.”
“No way in hell you’re keeping me from getting inside you,” Carlo mumbles as he reaches forward to tweak my nipple.
