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“He’s at work. I’ll see if telling him this evening feels right.”
As she drove, she thought about how well things were going financially. They’d sold off the steers the prior month, and the amount of money received was staggering. She’d never dreamed of that much money, let alone seen in go into her bank account. Of course, what went in wasn’t even a fraction of what was already there. Her father must have lived very frugally over the years to have accumulated so much wealth.
She missed him. Though she had no idea how she could possibly miss a man she’d never even met. Everything was so strange, and she wanted it to all feel normal. Maybe it would eventually.
Rebekah was still in the process of slowly decluttering the house, though Alexis was quite happy there were no longer photos of herself smiling down at her from each wall. That had been stranger than she could even express.
When she got home that afternoon, she went straight to her office to work, and was surprised to hear a knock on her office door just moments later. Rebekah usually respected her work time.
Alexis called, “Come in!”
“I found something that I think you’ll want,” Rebekah said. In her hand was a VHS tape.
“Oh, that thing is ancient!” Alexis said, looking at the tape. “Do they even sell VCRs anymore?”
“There’s one in the TV room upstairs,” Rebekah said. “This wasn’t labeled, so I popped it in, and as soon as I realized what it was, I took it out. It’s a message from your father to you.”
Alexis accepted the tape and went upstairs to the TV room. She’d really only been upstairs a couple of times, so she had to find the room Rebekah was talking about. She put the tape into the VCR and made sure it was at the beginning.
It took a moment after pushing play for her father to show up on the television screen. “Alexis, I know you don’t know me, but my name is Alexander Tobias, and I’m your birth father. Brad has adopted you, and he is treating you as if you are his own child, and I appreciate that. But I don’t want you to go your whole life without knowing who I am. Forgive me for using this ancient tape to talk to you, but I never got around to finding a way to record a message on a phone or using a CD.”
He ran his fingers through his thick, dark hair in a way she did often. Hearing his voice made her feel so much more for him than mere pictures had.
“You graduated from college yesterday, so I thought it would be a good time to record a message for you. I’m in good health, but you never know when an accident may take you away from this life. I need you to know what having you for a daughter has meant to me all these years.”
He cleared his throat, tears shining in his blue eyes, which she then understood. The blue eyes came from him. “I was there for your graduation yesterday, just as I have been for many moments in your life. I’d fly down to Texas for a day and fly back that night, just so I could feel close to you. I attended your high school play. I was there when you gave your valedictory speech in high school. I’ve been part of your life but you never knew it was me. I was your great aunt Alice, whom you’ve never met. I did all this because I have a love for you that knows no bounds.”
He closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. “I allowed Brad to adopt you and agreed to stay out of your life because of my love for you. I almost hosted you for a summer three years straight, but your mother got scared and backed out every time. As much as I loved your mother, Sara, I love you a thousand times more. I have books filled with pictures of you. I’ve never held you in my arms, but that doesn’t make me any less your father. I hope you understand that I have a love for you that will never stop.”
Alexis felt the tears pouring down her face and she brushed them away. Oh, how she wished she’d seen this for the first time before she was pregnant. Now her emotions were like a wound that would never heal, and she wasn’t sure she could even watch the whole tape.
“When I die, and I’m hoping that won’t be for many years, I will leave my ranch to you with the caveat that you run it yourself and live here. I plan to send you this tape on your twenty-fifth birthday, and invite you to come here and learn the ropes. Maybe you’ll even find a man to stand beside you through all of the things you’ll need to do as the owner of one of the largest and most successful ranches in this great country of ours.”
He took a deep breath. “I hope that you’ll agree to come here and spend a few years with me. I would like nothing more. I’ll include a letter with my phone number in it along with this tape when I mail it. Please realize that all the decisions I made were to help you not hurt you. I know it’s been a different life than you should have lived, and I pray you’ll be here with me soon.”
The screen went black, and Alexis shook her head as the tears continued to fall. He had died less than a year before her twenty-fifth birthday. “I’m sorry, Dad. You died and my birthday isn’t until January. But I’m here, living in this beautiful house of yours and running your ranch. I married a cowboy from Montana, and he’s doing a great job with the day-to-day operations. I’m handling the books and the business stuff behind the scenes. I’ve kept on all of your men except for Joe who decided to retire.
“I’m pregnant. I know you would be thrilled to have another child in place to inherit. I wish I could hug you just once. I feel like I did something wrong for not realizing I wasn’t one of Brad’s kids.” She sighed. “Oh, how I wish you were here!”
She popped the tape out of the VCR and went down to her office, not sure she’d get any work done, but she had to try. She had to keep the ranch going for many years into the future so her father could continue to be proud.
After supper that night, Alexis showed Kyle the tape. “Is this why your eyes are so red?” he asked.
She nodded emphatically. “I watched it and just couldn’t stop,” she told him. “I want to hug my father just once in my life. Is that too much to ask?”
He took her hand and pulled her down into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “He loved you.”
Alexis smiled, even though the tears were streaming again. “He did. And I would have loved him. I love him now, and he’s gone.”
Kyle sighed, just holding her close. “I wish I knew what to say, but I have no words.”
She nodded, her face against his shoulder. “There really aren’t.”
When Alexis got up the following morning, she realized she hadn’t told Kyle about the baby yet. Her night had been full with the video and with Kyle, but she did need to tell him.
At breakfast, he kept watching her, as if to see if she was going to explode into tears. Finally, he asked, “Do you want me to stay home today? I can have one of the guys do my part.”
She shook her head. “No, I’ll be fine. I have work I need to get done today as well.” Part of her work for the day would be to finish wrapping the gifts she’d gotten for him for Christmas. She’d finally finished her Christmas shopping a few days before, and she was happy to say she wouldn’t have to go to any stores during the busy shopping season. Thank God for Amazon.
