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At that time in my life, it felt like no one wanted to help me make my dream a reality, except Ethan. But he didn't even know about my goals, so he doesn't count. Or maybe he did.
Ethan
I was fascinated by Stacy. I didn't understand what it was about her that fascinated me but it was a strong feeling of attachment and it scared me.
Is this love?
I dreaded the new feeling. In fact, I was afraid of it. A month had passed since she had arrived, and I still felt unstable. Just hearing her voice was enough to get me excited. When she frowned at me for making a mistake, I would fight the urge to pinch her cheeks.
And every time I tried flirting with her, it failed. Things that easily worked with everyone else, failed perfectly with her.
I didn't understand it.
It frustrated me too.
I had promised myself that I wasn't going to be involved in things like this.
Maybe I was overthinking it.
Even if she didn't pay attention to my advances, it didn't bother me at all (it did…a whole lot).
Sometimes when I saw her with the other male staff, laughing or doing anything with them, I would feel my chest tighten. I knew what jealousy was and how it felt. I never thought that I, of all people, would feel jealousy because of a woman. I had been with several women, wined and dined them, slept with them, and went on shopping sprees with them. And if I saw them with another man, I didn't care.
Forgive me, but I saw myself as superior to other men, or I just told myself that there were more women out there to keep me company. It never once made my heart feel stabbed. I went to sleep thinking about her, and I woke up wanting to see her. We didn't work together a lot, and in the few moments we eventually did, Ethan Sullivan would feel nervous…all because of a woman I had bumped into.
There was a gentle rapping on my door. It was she.
"Ethan? It's me, Dr. Roberts, can I come in?" she asked without opening the door.
I looked at my desk to make sure everything was in order before calling her in. "Yeah, come in."
"Took you slightly longer than usual. Are you getting soft on me, Dr. Sullivan?" she asked with a smile.
The smile reached through the cracks in my heart.
"I just finished an operation," I replied and looked away. "How may I help?"
"Oh, Dr. Johnson was in my office…"
I knew him. The second most handsome doctor in this building, three years older than I was and regarded as a wise old man. I knew how the female staff talked about him.
Does Stacy also have the hots for him?
"He talked about an idea you brought up," she continued. "Something about the nurses' exchange program?"
My eyes widened as I remembered it.
"I honestly forgot about it," I admitted.
"He figured," she sighed then crossed her arms. "When he told me about the idea, I had issues believing that you were the one who came up with it."
"Really?" I raised a brow.
"I mean someone with a scatterbrain, actually brings up a good idea?" she teased.
"Oh come on, I have my moments," I replied. "You should give me some slack."
"I know, I know," she chuckled softly; it was like music to my ears. "Show me more of that smart side sometimes, and who knows? I might let you treat me to dinner."
