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"I think I deserve that," he chuckled. "No funny business…let me just squish your face like old times."
My eyes deviated and focused on Rachel. She shrugged. It was like she told me to go ahead considering I wanted to forget about a certain twin that had split my heart into two different portions of his personas.
"Okay," I agreed.
He touched my face. There was nothing really special about it. When both forms of Ian would touch me, even when I would visualize it, my face would heat up just from a single brush of his fingers. Lawrence had softer hands, true, a little weird because his hands didn't used to be that way. Maybe this is just me, but I felt that Lawrence had spent too much time modifying his body.
"Were you crying?" he asked as he lifted my chin and made me look into his eyes.
"No, I was just awake all night," I said.
"Don't need to lie to me," he sighed. "You'll never have to go through whatever it is you went through ever again."
"Yeah sure," I muttered.
"Now, shall we go somewhere fun?" he asked with a gentle smile.
I don't know why, but he seemed to be putting me off in a way that unsettled me.
****
We went to the movies. I ignored his hand holding mine and said nothing when he touched my thighs too. He intertwined his fingers with mine as his driver drove us to another fancy restaurant; but I wasn't properly dressed and they had a strict dress code. It didn't stop him from going to another one and making a toast to my eyes.
I was tired. It wasn't working. There was a park, a new one, and he decided to make it a last location. We sat on the benches, and I looked at the stars. I remembered the observatory and Ethan,,,Ian. We didn't get to name any stars, or did we? I couldn't remember, I was just lost in the moment and how happy he made me.
"You mind telling me, what exactly I'm doing wrong?" Lawrence asked.
I turned to look at him and his eyes weren't focused on me but at the sky as well.
"In what regard?" I asked. "As a person or as the fact that my family has decided that I must marry you for some reason I don't understand yet."
"You've always had a smart mouth," he chuckled. "Part of the many reasons I love you."
"I'm not sure you love me though," I said.
"You don't know the lengths I'm willing to go to have you. If that's not love, then what is?" he asked with a smile so cold, my blood froze.
On any other circumstances, what he said would sound romantic. But instead, he had successfully frightened me like it was child's play.
"I have spent years of my life…" He said as he took my left hand and kissed the back of my palm gently, "working to be a perfect man. Because you deserve nothing less than perfect. It's for your own good that I solely exist. A woman who is able to do anything for the first time, a woman whose beauty puts a lot of women to shame - a goddess. What delusional form of thinking would I have that a mere man like me could acquire you with how normal I was?"
He gently went up my arm, his eyes closed. I noticed his nose flare as he inhaled with each inch he took. He was sniffing me?
"From the moment I saw you as a child, I desired you. As a friend of course, but puberty came along, and I realized just how much of a woman you were going to become," he continued his rambling.
His left hand held my hips and pulled me to himself. He had finally gotten to my neck; my breathing became erratic, panicking from everything he was doing. I looked around and only noticed how empty the park was. At first I didn't pay attention to it because it was a new park and many people would have been sceptical of coming to the place at night. But I realized that Lawrence had rented it.
For this moment? I wasn't so sure.
"You were getting better and better. I have your parents to thank for that. You never complained; you obeyed and become even more perfect," he spoke against my neck. I shuddered because it tickled and that was just it: there was no other emotion.
I started to regret my choice of outfit, wishing I had put more thought into what I wore before leaving the house. But at least my thighs were safe. He just seemed content with breathing on my neck and caressing my waist.
I could bear it.
"You didn't seem interested in any man, until recently," he said.
"What?" I asked.
