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Ethan didn't seem like a failure, but his clumsy nature was enough. He was actively trying to change himself. I wasn't really doing anything. I just accepted what was given to me while secretly envying everyone around me that seemed to be living freely.
"Are you having fun?" Ethan asked as he handed me a glass.
"I haven't drunk anything," I replied. "Not too sure if I'm ready for my first alcohol."
"You don't have to force yourself," he said.
"Thank you." I accepted his offer anyway.
I took a sip of the liquid; it wasn't as bad as Mother had made it out to be. I could feel his gaze, particularly on my hair. My golden hair has earned me a lot of stares growing up, so I thought I was used to it. But his was different. It felt like he was reminded of something.
I twirled a few strands with my index finger and looked at him. "You really seem to like my hair."
"It just reminds me of someone," he said.
"Oh, hopefully someone good?" I asked with a nervous chuckle.
His eyes sunk as he looked away from me and focused on the party. "I guess so."
He was a nice person and something had definitely happened to him. We exchanged numbers and kept in touch even after medical school was over. Each time we spoke, I became even more fond of him. I thought about him after almost every time. I found it difficult to date, so besides my first kiss with a random guy in high school, and the one time I gave in and went out with Daniel from med school, my relationship skills were at zero.
I felt Ethan would be a perfect match. Imagine my shock when he reached out to me after all these years for a date, and it turned out he just wanted me to meet with his older brother. It was heart wrenching, and I didn't completely blame him. It felt like he was distant. Every time he met me in person, my hair seemed to ward him off. Whoever I reminded him of must have really done a number on him.
My parents let me to work wherever I wanted, so I chose to become a traveling doctor, volunteering my time at whatever location that needed me. I was never alone, though. I had to go around with Rachel Hanks, a bodyguard my parents had hired. She often kept her distance but was someone I could talk about my problems with.
"Maybe you aren't aggressive enough?" Rachel asked.
I had returned home after telling her about the date with the oldest Sullivan brother. I still felt bummed out about it.
"Aggressive enough?" I raised a brow.
"First of all, information," she said and pointed at my phone. "No one uses a Blackberry anymore. You need to get on proper social media."
"I just don't have the strength for that," I sighed in response. "Texting feels better."
"Message, messenger, and the like, and you choose to use SMS? Who's your favorite artist? Mozart?" she asked and scoffed.
"Beethoven, thank you very much." I frowned in response.
"Haha. Guess who's lonely? You," she pointed out.
"Too low," I sighed and jumped into bed.
I watched her pour a cup of tea. She was thirty years old, two years older than me just like Lawrence. Three years ago, her brunette hair was longer, stopping right below her shoulders; but she cut it to stop at her nape. It looked perfect, though. Someone like her seemed to have had her fair share of romance and heartbreaks. She was still single, and I assumed that was a choice. From what I gathered, she was still active in other security duties and not limited to just being my bodyguard.
For the first time in a while, I didn't mind the fact that my parents had assigned someone else to be a kind of partner to me. This time paying them.
"What did you mean by aggressive ?" I asked.
She took a sip of her tea. "I'm sure you're already aware of this, but Ethan Sullivan is a playboy."
"Knew that since medical school," I replied as I kicked the sheets.
It was a little frustrating seeing him frolic with the other girls, especially when he didn't seem to look at me with the eyes he gave to the others.
"Well that means he has a lot of women vying for his attention. You can be sure that all of them may have the same idea as you - to be his one and only," she explained. "So you can't be approaching him with the mindset of someone you have a crush on. You have to go in with the same amount of fire as those girls if not more. In my opinion, that is."
"You may be right," I said.
