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FELICITY
Jennifer laughs at me as clothes are flying everywhere. How hard is it to find something cute and weather appropriate? I should have gone shopping, but now it’s thirty minutes before I’m supposed to meet him at the park and I still haven’t found anything to wear.
“You could just go naked. That might speed things up. I still don’t understand what your therapist said to make you change your mind.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just help me find something, please!”
She rolls her eyes and gets off of my bed, joining me in the closet. Jennifer rummages through both sides and pulls out a mint colored dress. I forgot I even had that.
“This is long so you won’t feel exposed, but it’s cute. Plus, you could get away with not wearing heels. That’s always a plus.”
Jennifer is insane if she thinks I was ever going to put on heels. I’m not the girly girl type. More tomboyish. Sure, I have some dresses in my closet, but ninety percent of the time, you will find me in jeans, t-shirt, and my converse.
Theo makes me uncomfortable enough without having to worry about breaking an ankle. He is taking me outside of my comfort zone, and it’s the first step. My therapist is right. How will I ever get the things I want out of my life if I don’t try to let someone in? I’ve spent too many years with walls up around me like a fortress and it’s time to change that.
I slip the dress over my head, and inch on some black sandals, before turning to show Jennifer the final outfit.
“Gorgeous.”
My hand rubs the back of my neck and I start to pace. Suddenly, I’m regretting the decision of asking him out, but there’s no turning back now. He doesn’t deserve to be stood up. I shake my hands out and Jennifer approaches me again.
“Stop talking yourself out of it. Hell, if you don’t leave now, you’re going to be late.”
She pushes me toward the bedroom door, and I scoff. “I’m going. Damn.”
Jennifer shuts the front door behind me, and I get in my car.You can do this. It’s just a date.Quick breaths escape and I put the key in the ignition. Get to the damn park.
On the drive, I think about Theo. He has been nothing but patient and understanding. He didn’t freak out when I said no. With my history and issues, I have to be careful who I let in, and maybe Theo is exactly the person I need. The attraction is there, but it has to be more than that for me. Can we connect on a deeper level?
As my car screeches into a parking spot, I see Theo spreading out a blanket on the grass which causes my stomach to flutter. I haven’t been on many dates, but usually it’s dinner and a movie, but this is different.More intimate. My pulse starts to race as I get out of my car and head toward him. When his eyes lock on mine, my knees become weak. How does he have this effect on me? They say circumstances can bring people together. All of the movies that depict two people going through plane crashes, or robberies and coming out in love, but is that real life? All I know is he was there for me while I was stuck in that car. He could have just waited around for the ambulance and been done, but he came to my room to check on me. There’s something more here, and I owe it to myself to at least try to figure out where this could go, right?
He meets me halfway, and places his hand on the small of my back. I suck in a breath and close my eyes.He’s not going to hurt you. He’s one of the good guys.
“I’m really glad you changed your mind. No pressure, though. If you don’t want to see me again after this, just be straight with me.”
He gazes into my eyes, and I can see his pain. He has been hurt deeply by someone. I nod, and take a seat on the blanket. “So, I have to be honest. This is my first date in a long time. I’m a little rusty.”
He smiles as he opens a bottle of wine and fills two glasses. “Here’s to meeting new people.”
The sun is setting in a burnt orange sky. All the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, perfectly mixed, to showcase to wiping the slate clean and showing us the peace and serenity upon us as we toast to new things. I’m not sure when the last time I took the time to sit outside and enjoy a sunset. Life has swept me up into a whirlwind, and maybe it’s time for me to take in the beauty of life. Not everyone is lucky enough to be alive and I’m taking for granted the things I’m able to do.
Being an adult sets you into a routine.Get up, drink coffee, go to work, come home and sleep. We keep repeating this until twenty years have gone by, and we still aren’t fulfilled. I need to break out of my comfortable shell and live life. Thomas has destroyed most of my life, but I can’t let him take my future. I deserve happiness, and holding onto my past will only prevent me from getting what I want.A family. Kids. White picket fence.The fear that washes over me when I think about him, it has to stop. My life isn’t impending doom. It’s whatever I make of it, and starting now I’m standing up for myself. No more keeping to myself. Staying inside my house. I’m going to get out and enjoy life like Jennifer does. I’ve already lost a decade of happiness because of Thomas, but that comes to an end now.
I sit up straight and a smile washes over me. “So, not to be cliche, but tell me a little about yourself. I doubt you wanted to come out here just to watch the sunset.”
He inches a little closer and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, locking eyes with me, and leans in. “No, sorry.” I back away and stand up.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, staring up at me. “I’m sorry. Let’s just talk.”
The flesh of my lip in between my teeth and a tiny hint of blood calms me. “I just… There's a lot you don’t know about me. So, let’s take things slow. Can we?”
He nods and pats the blanket as I sit back down. “So, about you.”
Theo starts on about how his family has been in Grapevine for generations. His great grandfather was a firefighter and that’s what piqued his interest about joining until he obtained his degree to start his own business.
“What kind of business are you wanting to start?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Right now, I’m still not sure. Freelancing has always been in the back of my mind, but any business is hard to start.”
