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Everything slows down to a snail’s pace as I watch the nurses shock him and do chest compressions. No change. My chest tightens.Please!Second round. Still no change.I can’t lose him. I’ve lost everyone else!They go on like this for almost twenty minutes, and then the sound of the flatline roars over everything else.
I’m numb, the sound of the flatline still going on. The nurse looks at her watch, and says the time. Her eyes connect with mine, and she mouths I’m so sorry.
I fall to the floor, tears cascading down my cheeks, my head shaking back and forth. “He can’t be gone… I’m alone… all alone.”
He has crossed a bridge and I can’t follow. My heart sinks into my stomach.
Jerry was a wonderful man who took me in after my parents died. We didn’t quite get along at first. We clashed, but as I got older, the relationship got better. I pick myself up off the floor and walk back out the automatic doors.
He wouldn’t have wanted to see him after. After my grandmother passed, he made it clear not to put him in the ground, but cremate him and put him next to her. I still have the key to his house, and guess it’s up to me to figure out what to do from here.
This is not how I imagined my day going when I got off work. This is not the call I wanted to get. Somehow, I thought he would live to be 100-year-old and give me all his wisdom, but now he’s gone.
Before leaving the parking lot, I put my key in the ignition and then let it out. Tears happen, and some screams. He wouldn’t want me sitting around feeling sorry for him, but that doesn’t make it any better.
Why do we think that our parents and grandparents are invincible?
2
THEO
Thick rolling clouds the color of my mother’s favorite lilies dot the sapphire blue sky above us as the Ladder 37 fire truck comes to a halt. I step down and close the door. Sun rays are beating down on the navy blue t-shirt clinging to my body. The heavy cotton is not letting in any of the breeze. Nathan comes around the front.Well, this looks like a cluster fuck. Toyota Corolla versus a Jeep Wrangler. It’s clear who won.
There are already cops on the scene talking to the person inside the vehicle.
“Where is the ambulance? Looking at the cars, there are definitely injuries,” Nathan says, crossing his arms.
“Good thing I’m certified,” I reply.
Three years ago, an incident changed how we operated.
Lightning flashed across the tar-black sky as hailstones clattered to the ground like marbles spilled from a box. We received a call about a multi-vehicle crash and were on route. I could hear the murmuring of the rain through the window. After getting on scene, we determined there were six people badly injured. Then fifteen minutes of trying to keep the victims calm during this storm, an ambulance had still not arrived. The pelting of raindrops drowned out the screams. It took the paramedics almost forty-five minutes to get on the scene, and we ended up losing all six victims.
After that, the chief sent four of us to get re-certified so we can assess more injuries on site and give medical treatment if necessary. He doesn’t want anymore people to die at the hands of us. Who can blame him? That night was rough for all of us, because there was nothing we could do but wait for an ambulance. If we would have moved them, they would have bled out before reaching the hospital.
Nathan follows me over to the wreck. I need a good look at the drivers and assess the situation. The Jeep is sitting on top of the Corolla, both smashed to hell. One cop is on the scene and appears to be checking on the driver of the car.
“Ma’am, you need to calm down and try not to move,” the officer says.
Is this guy a rookie? He needs to come up with a better way to calm her. Telling a woman what to do is a bad idea. She’s been in an accident. Rationality is out the window.
“Step aside. I got this.”
The officer rolls his eyes and mumbles under his breath. “Firefighters always think they are better than us.”
If we weren’t standing in the middle of the street, there would be a response to that comment, but right now, my priority is to check on the driver.
I swoop in, dropping to a knee on the gravely road, ignoring the fact that I kneel onto broken glass, “Hey there, ma’am,” I assert in my best compassion filled voice, “Do you have any pain?”
The dashboard and airbag have her pinned to the seat.
“Listen, I already told the cop that I’m fine.” Her voice is shaking. “Just get me the fuck out of here.”
She is going to be a feisty one.At least something will make this day more interesting. “We are going to have to remove the door and get you out, but we have to wait for the paramedics.”
Getting her out before they arrive could cause more harm. Once they arrive, we can remove the door, and they can rush her to the hospital. Internal bleeding is an issue in these situations, and it’s better to play it safe than lose someone on my watch.
“I know the drill. 911 operator. Why is the ambulance taking so long? If I was bleeding out, I’d be dead.”
