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The blanket is tucked in around my body and a romantic comedy is playing on the television. Jennifer won’t stop treating me like I’m dying. Sure, I could have, but I didn’t. She’s not my mother even though at times she acts like she is. The doctor just said to take it easy for a couple weeks, but she acts like I can’t even wipe my own ass without her supervision. So, she has been waiting on me, hand and foot since I’ve been home from the hospital.
“I got your books!” she says, coming in the front door, and setting them down on the small white kitchen table. “You’ll never guess who I ran into?”
I love Jennifer, but she has barely left my house since leaving the hospital, and I just want to be left alone. I’m not a child. She is worried about me and I’m thankful that she cares, but I’m fine. “The President? Some famous celebrity?” My guesses are preposterous for a reason. Who would she see on a college campus?
“Theo. He almost backed into me. Asked how you were doing.” Her eyebrows wiggle.
Here we go again. She is going to go down some rabbit hole about how I need a man in my life. Why is being single so awful? I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself. I kind of like it that way. Why should I stick my neck out for Theo? He came to the hospital, so what? It’s not like I have time to date anyone. School starts soon and my schedule is full.
“I’m sure you told him all about me, too. You’ve never been one to leave well enough alone. Don’t you get sick of meddling in other people’s love lives?”
I close my eyes and try to keep my bitchy side from coming out full force. The irritation of having to deal with her waiting on me, treating me like a child, and now this is getting to be too much. This is why I’m meant to be single forever. My dad used to tell me I am too strong willed and stubborn. Oh yeah, and a control freak. Although I don’t think that’s true. Maybe too an extent, but I’m not over the top. Sure, I am particular about how my house is kept, and don’t like to be late for anything.
“Seriously though, do you? I don’t need to be set up with every guy that looks my way.”
She shakes her head. “You need a good guy in your life. Why are you so against dating? Hell, it would be some stress relief too.”
Dating is one thing, but having sex with some guy I barely know, not my thing. She knows this, but she will keep egging it on anyway. I don’t know why I let her rile me up. Jennifer needs to get out of here before I say something I might regret.
“Thanks for the books, but I’m not planning on doing anything but lay on this couch, so go home and get ready for work. I’ll be fine.” Honestly, I could use some peace and quiet. There aren’t many occasions I get to just relax on the couch and watch television.
“You sure?”
I nod, and gesture her to the door. “What do you think is going to happen? I don’t plan on doing any cardio workouts. I know my limits.”
She half smiles and walks out of the door.
Alone at last.
Once I see her car back out of the driveway, I grab a wine glass and fill it up. Day drinking isn’t typical of me, but I might as well live a little. No plans of leaving the house, so it’s not like I can’t enjoy myself a little. Usually when I get home from work, I’m too tired to enjoy an alcoholic beverage. I go over to the table and take the textbooks out of the bag, when I notice the mail. Mostly garbage until I see the DOC logo. My heart sinks into my stomach. I use my index finger to open it, and then take a deep breath as I fold the letter open and skim to the important part.
You are receiving this letter to inform you that Thomas Baldwin is being released on August 4th.
Tears start to form. Nobody knows about my past. Not even Jennifer. The only person that knew is now dead. She would find some way to make it a pity party, and I don’t need that. It’s been long enough that the people in this city don’t remember it, and I would like to keep it that way. Once the news spread around the high school, everyone started treating me differently. The mean girls were suddenly being nice to me, and my friends at the time, they acted like they were going to break me if they said a word. I never want to go through that bullshit again.
And just like that I’m back in that memory, over a decade ago, when Thomas Baldwin broke into our home. I was asleep in my room, but woke up to my dad yelling for someone to get out of our house. I was only a teenager, but thought that I could help, so I left my bedroom. When I got down the hall, my father was on the floor in the living room, a man’s knee in his back with a knife to his throat.
“Daddy!”
When Thomas turned around, the sly smile on his face told me to run, but I couldn’t just leave my father to die. So, I took a few deep breaths, and tried to talk him down.
“I won’t call the cops if you leave now. Nobody will ever know you were here.”
He removed the knife from my father’s throat and stood up. He must have been about six feet, shaggy hair, and reeked of marijuana. “You haven’t called the cops yet, huh?”
That was stupid of me, to tell him I hadn’t called. I should have dialed 911 before I left my bedroom, but again a teenager.
He walked toward me, this look in his eye, and I knew what was going to happen. I tried to prepare myself for it, but that’s not possible. He pushed my hair behind my ear and then attempted to put his hand down my pants.
“What in the hell do you think you’re doing? Leave my daughter alone!” my father screamed.
Thomas trudged over and kicked him in the face repeatedly. “You have no control here!”
As awful as that night was, all I could do is be sure it would never happen again. The nightmares about that night still haunt me, kicking and screaming, trying to get him off of me. The foul smell of his breath as he got closer to me, forcing himself on me. The ramifications of that night have ruined my entire life, and all I have been trying to do for over a decade is forget about it. Hearing my father scream in pain as he was beaten senseless, it still rings in my ears sometimes.
Why would they ever let him out? The man is a predator and will attack again. They say the prisons are overpopulated and prisoners with good behavior are getting the chance to go before the parole board and plead their cases, but I never in a million years would have thought they would be stupid enough to let Thomas out.
My breathing speeds up, and my hand flies to my chest.I can’t breathe!My vision becomes fuzzy and I take a seat in the chair.He won’t come here. Not to Grapevine. He isn’t that stupid.The case was all over the news, and since there isn’t much crime in this town, I’m sure everyone remembers his face.Breathe in, breathe out. The paper is still gripped in my hands, and this might be a reason to make an appointment with my therapist. I never thought this day would come, but it’s here. I can’t let him take away my happiness a second time. He doesn’t deserve that. I have to be strong.
