AllFreeNovel
Share Us
ChapterOne
AGONY
I liftthe bottle to my lips and take a drink, hissing as the liquid burns my throat. Gone. Up and fucking disappeared—vanished. I should have known that nothing good ever happens to me. It never has, and judging by this shit, it never fucking will.
I should have known it was all too good to last. Too sweet, too fucking fantastic, too much.
And my Reese was all kinds of good, too.
Like the fucking idiot I am, I fell in goddamn love with a woman who could never love me back. She never hid what she wanted or who she was. She never promised me anything she couldn’t deliver.
I knew she only wanted a good time.
I knew a hell of a lot, could see her restless, damaged soul that hid behind her eyes, but I didn’t fucking care.
I went all in.
I went for it… for her, like an idiot.
She warned me, too.
Told me over and over again that she couldn’t love me, wouldn’t love me—never would, no matter what the fuck I did. She wasn’t the type to commit. She wanted fun and only fun. No promises, no declarations.
Nothing.
I thought I could handle that. I’ve never known anything other than a good fuck, good food, and a good smoke. It’s all I thought I needed in life. I could give her zero promises. I could have fun and, when our time ran out, move on.
Until I met her.
Now I’m sitting around like some lovesick fucking fool, drinking my life away. I’m crying in my goddamn booze like a sad fucking country song. Pathetic is what I am. And Reese doesn’t give two shits.
She didn’t even pack a bag. She just took her purse and car, then bounced. And like the idiot I am, I have all her shit in storage, saving it for when she comes back, paying a monthly bill, knowing she doesn’t give a fuck.
I’ve harassed her brother for days, but he’s given me nothing. Logan claims he doesn’t know a damn thing. Although, judging by the way Reese told me she felt about him, it doesn’t surprise me that he doesn’t have a clue where she is.
He’s busy dealing and supplying drugs; he’s not really focused on his family. Even if she just fucking vanished into thin goddamn air. I am staring straight ahead as I sit on the couch, but I don’t see anything.
Thunder sighs as she sinks down on the cushion beside me, breaking me out of my thoughts about Reese, my feelings for her, and her disappearance. She wraps her fingers around the bottle in my hand and tugs it out of my grasp.
Turning my head, I stare at her, though it takes me a moment to stop seeing two and focus on just the one of her sitting beside me. She smiles but doesn’t speak. I wonder if I’m imagining her or if she’s real.
Blinking a few times, I flick my gaze to the bottle she stole and frown. “The fuck?” I ask.
She shrugs, lifting the bottle to her lips. “Fucking is what got me into this mess,” she snaps.
“What’s up?” I ask, though I can tell I’m slurring, which makes me chuckle.
My mouth just won’t form the shapes I need it to right now. I’m not usually one who gets fucked up on a regular basis. I like to drink and smoke, but I don’t typically get shit-faced like I am now.
Usually, I prefer to be alert as a general rule.
Just in case.
But I’m too far gone for this woman to give a fuck about myself, at least right now. Maybe in a week, a month, a year, I won’t be this fucked up. I know that being incapacitated could lead to devastation. I’ve been there before, and I never want to put myself in that position again. Yet I am doing just that right now, and I don’t really give a fuck, which says a lot about my mental state.
Personally, I couldn’t make any kind of move to help anyone in this moment. A rival could waltz in here, shooting up the whole place, and I’m pretty sure I would sit my ass right here and just watch. About all I would be capable of is pissing or puking. I don’t even think I can walk. Selfishly, I don’t care that I’m incapacitated, either.
“Hellcat,” she says with a heavy sigh, breaking me out of my thoughts again. “I love him. I’m an idiot and fell in love with one of you assholes.” Then she turns to me, leaning in closer before she whispers, “Now I can’t come. Not even when I’m alone.”
