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“That’s right,” I snapped. “Have I mentioned my powers are none of his business? Or yours?”
Javer’s eyes narrowed. “He is our prince. If all goes well, soon to be our emperor. If he chooses to use us as tools of the Siabra Empire, who are we to decline?”
“I thought you served the Queen Regent,” I said.
“I serve the Empire. And whoever rules the empire. The queen’s regency is merely a stop gap. A temporary measure while we await the beginning of the next imperial age.”
“I’m surprised you don’t serve Avriel, to be honest,” I said bluntly. “Isn’t he more your type?”
A look of distaste came over Javer’s face. “He’s a brutal, clumsy instrument of violence and nothing more.”
“And you prefer Prince Kairos because he’s what... subtler?”
“I follow the prince for a great many reasons, not least of which is the fact that he is the true and rightful heir. Furthermore, subtly is an undervalued quality in a monarch and the prince does in fact possess it in abundance, yes.”
I thought of Arthur. Definitely lacking in subtlety. Perhaps Javer had a small point.
“Fine. I believe you’re loyal. And you’re doing what he told you, which I can somewhat respect. But I’m declining the opportunity. I have no wish to be your pupil. No offense.”
I started to turn away.
“Perhaps you’d like to wait until your powers can no longer be suppressed and you burn yourself and whoever happens to be nearby to death in your sleep one night,” Javer said smoothly.
I turned around. “Is that really... That’s never actually happened. Has it?”
Guilt flooded through me as I remembered a promise I had made months ago.
A promise to myself. A promise to the power that lay within me. I had sworn I would never deny it again. Would never hide it away for another person’s comfort or convenience ever again.
But back then, I had been thinking of Arthur and my uncle. Of those who had forced me to hide my mother’s fae heritage.
This was different. Now I was suppressing my magic for a different reason.
Which was?
Being too afraid to use it?
No! It wasn’t that.
Yes, it was that and more. I had no wish to wield it. I had no wish to kill with it.
Javer ignored my question. “Or perhaps,” he continued. “You would rather find yourself in a situation where your life is at risk and the prince is nowhere around to save you. There you will be, waiting to see if your power will choose to manifest when you desperately need it. How many times can you deny a gift before the gift no longer comes when you call it?”
The words hit too close to home. “I...”
“Or perhaps,” he went on ruthlessly. “Your powerwillcome when you finally summon it. But it will come as a tidal wave does–sweeping away everything in its path, leaving nothing behind but destruction. And you’ll be left as nothing but a burned-out husk once the magic has been stripped away.”
I stared at him. “You’re not a very pleasant person. Has anyone ever told you that?”
Javer smiled coldly. “I don’t need to be pleasant. I am very good at what I do and I find that is enough. For most.”
“But not for me. Because I’m not letting you near my magic. I’m certainly not going to trust you to instruct me in how to use it. And I’m certainly not going to believe any of your bullshit fearmongering words.”
“Nevertheless, I will expect you in the Invocation Chamber tomorrow morning. I’m looking forward to it.”
“In that case, you’ll be waiting a very long time, won’t you?” I whirled away, pushing the door open then slamming it hard behind me.
Draven was leaning against the wall outside, his arms folded over his chest. “So, how did that go?”
