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“All of us?” Tyre piped up.
I smiled. “Well, most of you.”
“He grows on you,” Dame Halyna said, smiling faintly.
“Like a wart,” Tyre agreed, chuckling heartily.
Merlin smiled, but I sensed she was growing impatient with the delay.
“You wished to send me back to the castle? Directly to Arthur?” I said, repeating what she had just been suggesting.
“A spy in the king’s court, yes,” she said, meeting my eyes. “A dangerous plan. I admit it.”
“Dangerous, yes, but bold, too. And where else would I go? I can’t just hide in the temple...” Too late, I remembered Lancelet and Guinevere. Wasn’t that what they were both doing? Or seemed to be doing? I pressed on. “If that’s where I can best serve you all, then—”
“It’s a foolish plan.” Lancelet’s voice cut in. “And not for the reasons you think.”
“Oh? No?” I tried to keep my voice polite.
“No. Look at you.” Then she turned to the rest of the table. “Look at her. She’s practically glowing. If Arthur hated her when she was hiding her faeness before, what would he think now? And where will she say she’s been? Obviously he’ll suspect the worst based on how she looks. That she’s been conspiring with his enemies.”
“Fae enemies?” I tilted my head. “Does Arthur believe he has any? I thought his foes were all mortal—and all his dear neighbors.”
Lancelet shrugged. “He’s a mad man. Who knows what he thinks. He’syourbrother.”
I tried not to lose my temper. “Right.”
“She has a point,” Merlin said, touching a finger to her chin. “But there is a way around it...”
“I don’t think Morgan will agree to that again,” my uncle spoke up, his voice firm. “And for once, I would agree with her.”
“The medicine,” I said, understanding. “You think I should hide what I am?”
I tried to imagine taking the potion daily as I had done all throughout my childhood. The concoction that had almost killed me.
I imagined my golden skin fading, the silver markings disappearing. My hair reverting back to a sickly, colorless gray.
But worse, I imagined my powers dwindling. Being helpless and vulnerable to anything that lay before me.
I could still carry a weapon. I could fight. But in many ways, I knew I’d feel impotent after having access to the kind of power most could only dream of.
Arthur had no idea what I was capable of now. And truth be told, neither did I. Not fully. But that didn’t mean I wanted to hide my capabilities completely. Or lose all access to them.
And what of this connection to Draven? If I began to take the potion again, would it suppress that, too? This bond, irritating though it may be already, was also a lifeline back to Myntra. Back to him.”
“I’d have to think about it,” I said slowly. “I’m not sure I could... do that again.”
“Completely understandable. Of course. You must consider it,” Merlin said, nodding.
My uncle’s face was grim as he looked across the table at me.
“Still,” Merlin sighed, “think of what you could learn if you went back. If you could make Arthur trust you again. Not to mention if the king really does have the sword...”
“Chances are that I would be nothing more than a well-treated captive, Merlin,” I said carefully. “I think it’s safe to say that Arthur never truly trusted me. And as I didn’t bring him back the sword and I’ve been missing for months, he has no real reason to start even if I suddenly reappear and try to play the devoted sister.”
“Still, if we could think of a reasonable excuse to explain your disappearance. Something convincing.”
“It’s not a terrible plan,” Dame Halyna agreed, her voice gruff. “At the very least, Morgan could get close to the new queen. Perhaps she’d learn something that way. And she’d be closer than any of us to Excalibur. Or,” she amended, “to at least finding out where the king keeps the damn thing.”
