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The nightmare pounces, tackling me from behind. It’s dark and terrifying and horror steals the air from my lungs. Horror, and certainty, because that’s the worst possible thing, isn’t it? He only wants me to look at him, and I’ll be dead. Who’s going to look at him then?
My gasp interrupts the kiss. Hercules doesn’t hesitate. His hand curves around my chin, his arm around my back, and he yanks me away from thatthing, that fear, scrambling to his feet at the poolside.
Maybe Icandrown. This feels like drowning. This feels like being pulled under into deep, black water.
The breeze rushes through my hair, because he’s running.
Like any door in the world could keep it out.
Like any wall could keep it out.
Likeanythingcould keep it out.
Hercules runs anyway, straight across the yard to my parents’ house. Tomyhouse. He leans down to open the door with his mouth on mine, kissing hard enough to draw blood, and throws us inside.
I can’t keep my eyes open.
It gets clearer and more real every second. The stone. The gates. A kitten’s eyes, flashing in the dark.
“No.” My back meets the wall, and his hands are vicious on my sleep pants. Those panties won’t ever regain their former shape. “Daisy.Baby.”
I focus all my energy on keeping my arms around his neck. I’m half here, half there, my body hot and flushed and wanting, my soul somewhere else.
“Fight,” he orders, and at first I can’t, because there’s nothingtofight. It’s in my head. Then his hand is in my hair, pulling harder,yanking,and of course, of course, I’ll fight to stay with him. To anybody else, this would look like an attack. He pinches and bites, digs half-moons into my skin, wraps my legs around his waist. Hercules holds me so tight that he can hardly get his zipper undone.
But he manages.
He always does.
Then both hands go to my hips, and he uses the wall to balance me while he pulls me down onto his cock. He’s not gentle about it. He doesn’t care what it takes to get thisthingoff me.
It feels so good.
His teeth meet the fading bruise at the curve of my neck, and he makes a new one. The nightmare hisses. It’s not happy about being dismissed. I can’t think of victory now. I can’t feel superior, because it’s still so close, because it could come back any time, because these waking attacks are the scariest thing. I was tired. I wasn’t asleep, and it’s here, it’s here, it’s here—
My head knocks against the wall and Hercules puts a hand behind it to cushion me while he fucks me like no one could possibly watch. As if my parents aren’t sleeping upstairs. As if we’re not standing by a door that’s made entirely of glass.
He doesn’t care, and neither do I.
It’s not all pain. That fades into a heated, intense pleasure, partly from the way he handles me and partly from the way I don’t feel fragile right now. Not at all. Never again.
“Baby,” he breathes, low into my neck, and then I fly over the peak. Came out of nowhere. But it didn’t, did it? It was always Hercules. He was always carrying me up to the ledge and pushing me over. He comes with me, hips powerful enough to knock through the wall. “Fuck.”
When it’s over, when he’s spilled every bit of himself into me, he keeps me pressed to the wall, his forearms braced on either side of my head.
I don’t understand what he’s doing until Idounderstand.
He’s trying to block it. To hide me from what was coming.
It’s not here now.
It’ll be back, but it’s not here now.
Exhaustion sweeps in like dark water. One minute, I’m coming down from the high. The next, I’m too tired to speak. I lay my head on his shoulder instead.
Hercules doesn’t say a word.
He gathers my destroyed clothes from the floor and carries me upstairs.
