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She banged her script on the table and I winced.
“I amnota neat freak. I’m just not excessively untidy like some royal brats I could name. And I understand that you need your space, Jess. I always have. But, could you try talking about it for a change? You’re spiralling out of control, and it’s scaring all of us.”
I scoffed at that. Out of control?
“What rubbish! Do I have a drinking problem? Am I doing drugs? Am I doing dirty rock stars who are doing drugs? No! I’m just trying to get married. What the hell is wrong with that? You know what, Nivy? I am every Indian mother’s wet dream. And you should be happy about it, instead of making those constipated faces,” I scolded.
She straightened her face indignantly.
“I don’t look constipated! Oh, for the love of God! What now?” she asked as her phone rang again. But from the way she swiped right with a smile, I knew it wasn’t any pesky reporter. It was my brother.
I hummed under my breath, trying not to eavesdrop on a conversation that was definitely x-rated, going by the way Nivy turned an interesting shade of tomato red that I had never seen on a real tomato. She hung up and looked up at me. I raised an eyebrow.
“How the hell do you Devgarhs do that? I will pay you a fortune if you could teach me that trick, Jess,” she said, trying to raise one eyebrow without success.
“I have my own fortune, thank you very much. And do you realise that when you blush, you look like one of those airbrushed tomatoes from a ketchup ad?”
“I wasn’t blushing,” she denied. “Anyway, His Hottiness needs me to pick out my wedding jewellery. I have to leave.”
“What do you mean, leave? You’re my ride! Let’s go home together.”
“But Veer and I have to go to the jewellery store, Jess. It’s on the other side of town. I’ll ask him to send a driver for you,” she said, not meeting my eyes.
I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow even higher than before.
“Since when does the Maharaja of Devgarh have to step out of his palace to buy jewellery? The family jeweller has probably set up a tent on the palace grounds by now. I know he had a mini-orgasm when Ma commissioned that jadau necklace for my roka. Your wedding plans probably gave him multiples.”
“Can menhavemultiple orgasms?” she asked curiously.
I shrugged. What I knew about sex could have fit onto the Devgarh Centennial stamp. But Nivy didn’t need to know that.
“I know exactly where you’re going, Nivy. Veer’s taking you to the Shikar Bari for a dirty afternoon,” I guessed with a wide grin.
“Shut up! And don’t tell anyone,” she hissed.
I shook my head.
“You dirty, dirty girl. Go on, get out of here. I’ll just sit here all by my lonesome self, and wait for it to stop raining all over my life,” I said, laying on the guilt with a trowel.
Nivy rolled her eyes, as she texted Veer to arrange for my ride.
“As if you were going to tell me anything, anyway. The car will be here in twenty minutes. Try not to destroy this lovely café within that time,” she said, as she kissed my head and walked out.
I sighed again and asked for the bill, feeling as if I’d die if I didn’t get a breath of fresh air. Besides, the aroma of baking flooded the seating area of the little cafe, and I was only human. I decided to walk around a bit and add to my step count for the day.
There was a kirana store across the road that I remembered from my childhood. It was on our way to school, and Nivy and I used to make regular stops for the lemon candy that they used to stock. The owner’s grandson had even tried to kiss me when I was sixteen, and I had kneed him in the nuts. I couldn’t help it. The guy simply wouldn’t take no for an answer.
As I walked around, I heard a commotion.
“Princess! Over here!”
“Your Highness! Over here!”
To my horror, media vans screeched to a halt on the other side of the road - thank God for limited parking - and reporters started pulling their equipment out, yelling questions at me.
I turned on my heel and made straight for the kirana store. There was a storeroom on the first floor, and I was sure the owner would help me hide until my ride got here.
But I had forgotten that God hated me!
