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I shook my head and blinked a few times. “I’m sorry, it’s just… well, you can’t be serious?” I wanted to laugh, but when the sparkle in his green eyes dulled, I almost felt bad for tapering down his optimism.
He lifted his head to the sky and said, “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.” It was a mumble, but I made it out and I wasn’t sure what he was referring to. “Look.” His eyes connected with mine. Deep and intense, it felt like he was looking into my soul and my toes tingled in my heels. “I’m sorry for being an asshole. I wasn’t being myself. I’m not normally that rude. It’s just I thought you were another girl trying that trick with me, and I got frustrated.”
“What trick?”
His lip lifted into a small smile. “Using my tutoring sessions to get a date.”
I cringed and let out an annoyed mewl. “Why on earth would you think I would try doing that?”
He stayed quiet for a minute as he took me in. When I raised my brow, urging him to answer, he finally did. “Well, look at you. You’re hot.”
That comment alone made me want to cut that tiny little bun off his head. He was reducing me down to my looks when I spent so much time making sure I was more than that. Just because I liked to take care of myself, didn’t mean I was looking for a man as my meal ticket.
He was grinning at my silent reaction, and I refused to admit it was kind of sexy.
“However, your hotness is beside the point,” he added, as though he could hear my thoughts. “You’re clearly more than that, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that. It’s not my finest hour, and I really hope you’ll forgive me.”
“If I accept your apology, will you leave me alone?”
He let out a little breath and looked at me seriously. “Now that I’ve met you, I don’t think I can.”
Was that supposed to come out as a low, sexy growl? Surely not. That was just his way of trying to butter me up. He’d probably heard about how easy it was for Connor to trick me, and I refused to fall for any athlete’s shit again. They were all lying and manipulative, and I bet he’d want me to do his homework for him too.
“Do lines like that ever work for you?” I deadpanned, and he balked in shock.
Good.
I was tired of being bothered by people who wanted things from me that I wasn’t willing to give.
“Lines?”
I slipped past him, moving toward the Farrar building, and said, “Goodbye, Tanner. Good luck finding someone that will tutor you.”
“Aster, wait.” He called, but I didn’t turn around. “Please.” His plea wasn’t enough. I just kept walking.
Holding my tray, I headed to my usual spot in the canteen to have my dinner. Quiet and secluded, it was the perfect place to read my novels and get a little downtime before doing any tutor prep in the evening.
As I weaved through the tables, I stopped in the middle, clutching my tray tightly because I was almost certain that I was going to drop it. My knees knocked together, and I was barely breathing. I could feel my heart blaring in my chest when I saw who was sitting there.
Connor.
He was sitting in my seat, languishing in the seclusion while Rachel sat on his lap, nibbling at his earlobe as though it was tastier than the nachos. He didn’t seem to mind. With a small smile on his face, I could see his hand squeeze her hip, and when they made eye contact, he looked at her with adoration and pride. I always thought he looked at me like that, but seeing this now made it really clear. I was being used, but too blinded by the fact that a guy was smiling at me like he finally got to me. That stupid smile of his got me. It made me weak in the knees and caused me to drop every moral I had.
I could feel the embarrassment rising through my body because I’d never been the kind of girl that fawned over a guy. I dated a little in high school and never went to any dances. I just kind of floated through without bothering anyone. Connor was the first guy that I thought saw me. He would say things I never thought a guy would feel about me, and that should have been the first red flag. Him asking me to write a few lines about his homework assignment should have been the second. But I was too eager. Too inexperienced to know the difference between being used and being liked.
I could hear Rachel’s harsh cackled from across the room. It was so piercing that it managed to cut through all the noise and echo around the room.
My jaw clenched as I looked at them one more time. She was twiddling with his shirt collar as his hand drew up her skirt.
I could only assume that Connor did this on purpose. He knew that wasmyspot because I always declined having dinner with his team in the middle of the room, refusing to be the center of attention. He joined me a couple of times in the corner when he was trying to get on my good side, but the minute we started dating, all of that was out the window. He was right back in the center of the canteen, lapping up all the attention.
So what was he doing in my seat now?
It wasn’t like he wanted me back because he didn’t even want me in the first place. He sat there because he wanted to hurt me and hurt me it did. My ego had taken enough of a beating this week. I didn’t need my ex to keep playing games. Especially since he was the one that broke up with me.
“Idiot,” I whispered under my breath to no one in particular.
I looked around the canteen to see if there was anyone I knew, but there wasn’t. My mom’s persistent nagging came to mind because all I could think about was how I had no friends, and she was right. If she wasn’t around, I’d have no one to talk to. I always sat alone, and although that was how I usually liked it, I could have really used some help today.
