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How were they supposed to make this work if he didn’t want to leave her alone but didn’t trust himself to care for the baby properly without her? Should he move in with her while the baby was young so he could provide support but know that she would be there when he got it wrong? If so, at what point should he move out again? He didn’t want to find himself as part of a couple by default. Gabby deserved better than that. She deserved better thanhim.
Not to mention the broader issues raised. He’d gone thirty-four years without getting a woman pregnant—to his knowledge—but now that it had happened, he didn’t want to run the risk of it happening again. Did that mean he should give up his flings and one-night stands with women vacationing in the area? Could he handle a life of celibacy? He’d never tried, except in the aftermath of his knee injury, when he’d been too depressed about losing his sporting career to worry about anything else.
It would be respectful to Gabby if he stopped playing the field. But then, there hadn’t been many women lately anyway. He’d already been growing tired of flirting and games. If he did stop seeing people, would Gabby feel obligated to do the same? He didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t date, even though the thought of seeing her with another man made him want to punch something.
Poor Gabby. Recalling the cruel words he’d thrown at her on Friday, he felt a pang of guilt and shame. He’d reacted badly, and said things he didn’t mean. He knew she’d never want to be stuck in this situation with him. If she’d wanted to get pregnant with someone, she sure as hell wouldn’t have chosen him. He couldn’t think of a poorer candidate for Dad of the Year.
When the rain became heavy, he trudged to shore, dried himself, and returned to his apartment. He got the heater going, showered, and emerged to a warm living area. He glanced at the heater. It was nice, but he’d always wanted a fireplace. He’d never gotten around to having one installed, and perhaps he wouldn’t now because fire would surely pose a risk to their baby. He made himself a coffee and reheated leftover pizza, deep in thought. He needed someone to talk to. There was only so much internal debate he could have over the same questions. But he wasn’t ready to see Gabby. He wanted to get his thoughts in order first.
He blew across the surface of the coffee. He could call Charity. She already knew, and unless he wanted to break the news to Kyle or one of his friends, he didn’t really have other options. With a groan, he grabbed his phone and sent her a text, asking her to come over if she was free. This must be karma. After he’d been a shit to Charity, he was now relying on her to be his confidant. Fucking hell.
She replied almost immediately and said she’d be there soon. Thank God. He released his breath. Even months later, he still felt bad for how he’d treated Charity when she and Kyle started dating. In his defense, she’d been awful to Kyle when they were teenagers. He’d asked her out, and she’d turned him down—not only publicly, but with maximum humiliation. Logan had been out of the country at the time or he’d have given her a piece of his mind.
Somehow, despite their rocky start, Charity and Kyle were strong now. She’d been through a lot and emerged as a decent person. Snarky, perhaps, and prickly as a hedgehog. But decent at her core. He regretted the problems he’d caused them, but he’d always do what he could to protect his family.
He ate the pizza, put the dishes away, and prepared a pot of tea. He kept a particular brand he knew Charity liked. One of his ways of trying to make up for interfering between her and Kyle. A few minutes later, she knocked on the door. He let her in and she sat in an armchair, her feet tucked beneath her, while he took the couch.
“So, what do you want to talk about?” she asked after he’d tried to do the polite chitchat thing. She wasn’t much for small talk.
He met her eyes, trying to read whatever was going through her mind, but she was a closed book. If he didn’t know she knew about Gabby, he’d never have guessed because she wasn’t giving anything away.
“It’s about Gabby,” he said, his stomach flooded with nerves. “And the pregnancy.”
“Oh?” She arched an eyebrow. “What about it?”
“I need to discuss it with someone objective.”
Her other eyebrow flew up. “And you think that’s me?”
He shrugged. “You’re smart, and you’re not going to go easy on me. Plus you already know.”
“That’s true.” One side of her mouth curled with amusement. She sipped her tea. “So, what would you like to discuss?”
“Everything.” The word burst from him on a wave of emotion. “I’m so lost right now. I have no idea about pregnancy or babies, and everything I know about raising a child comes from watching Bex and Shane.”
Charity’s expression softened—something he wasn’t used to seeing from her. “I’m not an expert either, but I think a lot of new parents are the same. From what Shane has said, all the knowledge in the world doesn’t matter much without experience. It’s just one of those things you figure out as you go along.”
Logan made a sound of frustration. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. There was plenty he was comfortable with winging, but going into fatherhood without a plan seemed like a surefire recipe to end up as a deadbeat dad. This wasn’t the time for her to basically tell him to be himself. “Himself” was a promiscuous flirt and a generally unreliable guy. Not the type of man who’d be the parenting partner Gabby—or their baby—deserved.
He sighed. “Okay, putting aside the baby thing for a moment—”
Charity snorted, and he couldn’t blame her.
“Putting that aside,” he continued, “I don’t know what to do about Gabby either. What’s the proper protocol for when you accidentally get someone pregnant? Should I move in with her? Offer to marry her?” Even the thought made him break out in a cold sweat.
Charity’s eyes narrowed. “Whatever you do, do not propose. She won’t appreciate it, even if it’s coming from a good place. Gabby may come across as tough, but she’s a romantic. When someone proposes to her, it should be because they want to marry her and nothing else. Do not ruin her first proposal by offering her a ring out of a misguided sense of duty. Trust me, no woman wants a guilt ring.”
“See?” He slumped in relief. “I have no idea about this stuff.” He was going to mess it up.
She rolled her eyes. “I know your motives are good, but you’re not talking about this with the right person. You should be saying all of this to Gabby.”
He buried his face in his hands and groaned. He knew she was right.
* * *
Gabby ranthe brush over Princess’s left shoulder, admiring the golden gleam of her coat. “You’re such a beautiful girl,” she murmured. Princess nudged her pocket, looking for a treat, and Gabby slipped her a piece of apple. “Such a smart girl, too.”
She hadn’t been riding much recently because the jostling worsened her nausea, but she hoped she’d be through the worst of her sickness soon, and then she’d be able to get out more. Although she still needed to weigh the risks of riding. It was rare for her to come off, and Princess was a dream—so smooth and even-tempered—but there was always a chance of it happening, and if it did, there was no saying what damage might be done to her unborn child.
