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ChapterEleven
ALIA
“Istill can’t believe he summoned you to hisquarters!”
Reena’s shriek cuts through the hall as we step into the laundry room. Several other servants glance our way.
I slap a hand over her mouth and shoot her a scowl. “Shush, you! Could you be any louder?”
“Don’t tempt me, missy.” She wrestles free and stares at me with wide, dancing eyes. “How long did you stay?”
“I don’t know. We talked for a while —”
“And then he brought you back.” She presses her palm to her chest and tips her head back, eyes closed. “So romantic!”
I wrinkle my nose at her. “I think you’re more enthralled with this whole development than I am.”
“Probably.” She unleashes a little cackle, but just as quickly, she sobers and straightens. “So what happens now? You said you need to talk to people who were there? To learn what they saw?”
I nod and take my normal spot at the washbasin. “Or didn’t see. At this point, we’re not sure who actually remembers it all correctly. We just know something’s off. If there was an explosive moment like I remember, then I can’t be the only one.”
Reena pauses with her hands on either side of her head, halfway pulling back her hair into a tail. Serious amber eyes search mine. “And you truly think he’s sincere? That he didn’t do what you’ve thought all this time?”
Kirran’s gold eyes burn in my mind again. The shakiness in his voice fills my ears. The anguish as he told me his side of what I had never doubted was the truth.
“Alia, you nevercameto the ball. You broke that promise.”
For years, I hadn’t questioned his rejection, had never stopped to let myself consider that my best friend wouldn’t do that to me. Dwelling on it all hurt too much. So after some moping in Palla, I’d pushed the memories aside until I could at least try to get on with my life. I eventually returned to Hazal. It wasn’t exactly home, but it felt more like home than Palla had.
Yet, if I were honest, Kirran had haunted me every step of the way. If not in my waking hours, then in my dreams, where my heart broke over and over again.
Could it be possible he had felt the same way? That while I was trying to heal my shattered heart, he was also picking up the pieces of his?
My throat tightens.How much time we’ve wasted.
“Alia?”
I snap my attention back to Reena and offer a weak half-smile. “Sorry. Um, yes. I think so. He seemed sincere.”
She watches me, veiled emotions swirling in her eyes. Then her brows furrow, and she matches my expression, though far more worry lurks in hers. “I don’t want him hurting you again.”
I touch her shoulder. At this point in our lives, Reena is more of a sister than a friend. “I know.”
Kirran’s words flood my thoughts once more.
“Like I meant nothing. Like everything between us was just…nothing.”
I swallow hard and pull at my dress. My nose smarts anyway. I stare at the stone floor beneath my feet until I’m sure I can speak without choking on the words. “I don’t know what the truth is. But I know I hurt him too. That much was clear — is clear. He looked and sounded so…broken, Ree. I’ve never seen him like that. He’s always been so sure of himself. Untouchable.”
A shiver prickles up my spine. I didn’t mention anything to her about his hands or arms on our walk to the laundry room. But my mind keeps replaying the way he’d tried at first to hide them. Like he was ashamed.
Given what the stains mean, he likely is.
Growing up, Kirran was reckless, prone to action and backtalk and impulsive ideas I was always certain would land us in trouble. But he wasn’t violent. Though he trained among the soldiers and enjoyed that training, said he saw himself pursuing a military career, he never showed a thirst for bloodshed. Not like some of the soldiers did. I have seen men returning over the years with a few or even a couple dozen distinct branches on their hands and arms. For Kirran to have the marks he has, and for them to be the sickening color they are, means he did not kill merely a handful of times.
No, it is evidence of thousands.
The thought elicits another tremor.
