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“Eris!” I exclaimed, immediately brought to a boil.
“I’m kidding,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It was nice meeting you, Dillon. Make our family proud.”
Before I could say anything else, Eris spun on her heel, her blonde hair swishing as she made her way out. With the door closed behind her, a fist gripped my heart as I considered what Dillon would say.
Chapter 7
Dillon
My heart raced as I tried to process what had just happened. The humiliation I felt from Remy’s words and Eris’ presence had ripped my chest open. It ate away at my confidence in a way that nothing else could.
Not only had he made me second-guess my place in their glamorous world, but he had laughed off the idea that he could be attracted to me. I had been such a fool to think that someone like Remy could be interested in someone like me. I was just his family’s charity case who was now “uniquely qualified” to give Remy what he wanted.
“Is that all I am to you, then?” I said turning to him, my voice breaking. “A charity case? Someone to fill a gap in your perfect little world by being poor and mixed race?”
Remy looked taken aback by my outburst. “Dillon, that’s not what I meant—”
“Well, it sure as hell sounded like it!” I shot back, my insecurities roaring to life.
For a moment, Remy remained silent. When he spoke his casual confidence was gone. Good, he deserved to feel like I did.
“Please, help me understand what I said that hurt you,” Remy said painfully.
As much as I wanted to be angry at him, his vulnerability quickly extinguished my fire. In all of the years I had known him, I had never seen this side of him before. It made me fall for him more. I hated myself for it.
With melting resistance, I stared into his eyes. Pushing down a lump in my throat, I realized that I was about to tell him something I had never shared with anyone.
“You don’t know this about me because I’ve never said it aloud before, but I know that I’m basically Hil’s pet. He was lonely and needed a friend so your family went to the poor people’s pound and found me.”
“What?” Remy said feigning shock.
“Don’t deny it. I know what other people think when they see me with Hil or you. I don’t dress like your family does. I don’t look like you do. I don’t fit in,” I admitted, my voice shaking.
“Occasionally, I let myself believe I might truly have a place in your world, that I could be someone you genuinely care about. But every time I come crashing back to reality, feeling like nothing more than a token poor, black friend you all keep around for laughs.”
Remy listened, his eyes never leaving mine. When I was done, he didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think there was anything he could say. I knew I was right.
But when his gaze hit the floor, he found his voice and quiet confidence.
“Dillon, I want to share something with you. It’s something my father once told me. He said, “When you embrace your true self, you’ll be rewarded.””
I looked at him, a small part of me daring to hope that maybe he wasn’t just talking about life philosophies. That maybe he was talking about us.
“Embracing one’s self is never easy, and it can be terrifying,” Remy continued. “But… perhaps your background and experiences aren’t your weaknesses but your strengths. I can assure you that no one in my family has ever seen you like you’ve described. And I, for one, think there’s so much more to you than you give yourself credit for. So to hear how you think of me, and yourself, breaks my heart,” he said nearly in tears.
Lost in the words of the man I had been in love with for so long, I brushed against an idea that was tantalizingly just out of reach. My heart pounded at the prospect. Could there be strength in the things I had run from for so long? I didn’t think so. But, still, what if? What would that mean for me? What would that look like?
“I…”
“What?” he asked when I didn’t continue.
No, I couldn’t do this. “Remy, I…”
Hearing my tone, he cut me off.
“Dillon, look, I can’t pretend to know what it was like being you. I’m white. I’m rich. I’m incredibly good-looking,” he said drawing my attention to the brief return of his cocky smirk. “My point is that I don’t know what it’s like to be you, but I’d like to. And, I was sincere about you creating a community outreach center for me and my family.
“I admit that I didn’t think of it until I was forced to. I would have been completely content to just have you show up every day so I could look at you,” he said with a smile.
