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“Well, one, you were cute. Very cute. Still are,” he said, confirming my suspicion. “And two, you were the first guy I ever… dared to flirt with.”
“Seriously,” I asked, not expecting that.
He blushed. “Yeah, you were always so… I don’t know, confident back then. You always seemed to know who you were. I was having thoughts and terrified of who I might be. You just were, and accepted it.”
I laughed. “I’m glad it looked like that. But I can assure you that wasn’t the case.”
“Maybe. But, I gotta say, thinking you were gave me hope, you know? I made a lot of decisions based on the guy I thought you were.”
“Wow,” I said, no longer flirting with him. “Thank you.”
“No, man, thank you,” he said appreciatively. “So, what are you up to now? You moved out of the neighborhood, didn’t you? It was a few years back.”
“Yeah. My mother got a job. We ended up moving closer to it. What about you? You still live around here?”
“No. I went to a community college in Virginia. So I was there for a while.”
“Virginia? Why there?”
“It’s close to the FBI headquarters. I wanted to take a few specialty programs that allowed for easy enrollment.”
I froze. “To the FBI? And did you… enroll, I mean?”
Jimmy smiled proudly. “I did.”
“Oh, congratulations. What division?” I asked hesitantly.
He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “Organized crime.”
“Oh!” I replied, immediately thinking of Remy. “Nice,” I said, trying not to panic.
“Yeah. I figured, what better way to give back to the community than to try to get some of the gangs off the streets? What about you? What are you doing now? Real estate?”
I stared at him nervously. “What made you say that?”
“I noticed you looking at the building. It was like you were casing the joint. If I didn’t know you, I’d be worried,” he joked.
“Oh,” I laughed. “I mean, I guess kind of.” I paused to choose my words carefully. “I’m working with the person who’s turning the building into a community outreach center.”
“Seriously? That’s fantastic. You know, if you ever want to talk about anything, like how to make sure the gangs don’t bother you here, anything really, you should give me a call,” he said flirtatiously before pulling out a card.
I had to shut down any thoughts he had about us quickly. The last thing I needed to do was date someone in the FBI while working for the son of one of the biggest mafia bosses in the city.
“I’ll be honest, I’m just recovering from a… I don’t know what would you call it, a situationship? So I’m not up for anything in that way. But it might be helpful to touch base about safety strategies for the center.”
“Of course. Anything you need. Just let me know. It was, ah, good to see you again, Dillon,” he said, making sure his interest was clear.
“You too, Jimmy. I mean, James. I’ll let you know,” I said, holding up his card as he walked away.
Leaving the neighborhood, I thought about my conversation with Jimmy. It was amazing to think that I could have had such an effect on him. Back then, I constantly felt miserable for being gay and not fitting in. Yet, Jimmy had found the strength to be who he was from watching me.
“How?” I asked aloud, trying to understand it all.
Returning to the office, I added something new to my calendar. I needed to start hiring. The programs I imagined for the center had to be designed, and I had no idea where to begin.
Knowing Remy had access to my calendar, I decided to test him. I blocked off time and labeled it ‘Start Hiring Process.’ Hitting save, I stared at the screen waiting for a reaction. When nothing happened, I chuckled at my unrealistic expectations and went about my day full of meetings.
After reviewing countless designs, and then looking up all of the new words I had heard, I was done. Walking to my new place, I again thought about my encounter with Jimmy. I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something important I’d missed about it. As I prepared dinner from the fancy dips lining my fridge, I replayed our conversation.
