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Holding it for as long as I could, I quickly broke into laughter. This was our usual repartee. Its familiarity felt good amongst the absurdity of everything going on. And I didn’t just mean the tiger who eyed my hand on the cage like it was sausage.
Laughing with me, Lucien climbed down and helped me push the cage up into the van. As we drove away, my mind turned to the giant tiger in back. It was my turn to execute a mission. I had to convince him to give the animal to a zoo instead of whatever crazy thing he had planned.
I considered appealing to his pride and then his conscience. But before I could say a word, he pulled into an alleyway and cut the engine. As soon as things were quiet, a smaller African man approached the van.
“Lucien,” he declared, “Where is he?”
“In back.”
“Show me,” the man insisted in an African accent.
I followed Lucien out of the van circling to the back. Popping open the doors, the agitated beast roared.
“It’s beautiful. I promise it will live out the rest of its life on a preserve free from the cruelty of humans.”
Lucien’s eyes briefly met mine.
“Just keep your word. Don’t make me have to come looking for you.”
The small man looked up at my built cousin unintimidated.
“Don’t worry. I will.”
“Good,” Lucien said before giving the man the van’s keys and looking at me. “Let’s go.”
Catching up to him as he marched back up the alleyway, I stared at my childhood friend stunned. He was not the person I had once known.
“What?” He barked when he could no longer ignore my gaze.
“You softy,” I teased.
“Are you talking about that? Were you expecting me to do the rug making myself? I don’t get my hands dirty.”
“Of course,” I said seeing through him.
“Whatever,” he said brushing my suggestion aside.
It felt like forever since the last time I had been surprised by life. I had grown up with Lucien. For a while, the two of us were practically one. He knew all of my secrets and I had known his. I had even told him that I had been with guys.
“Sometimes I like a change of scenery,” I had told him playing it down.
“You’re French,” he had replied not batting an eye.
But that was then. Nothing I knew about him could have prepared me for tonight. Had he become some sort of vigilante for endangered animals? Considering the complexity of his plan, this couldn’t have been his first heist.
Was this Lucien’s true self? Was this what brought him his greatest joy? Maybe I had never known my cousin at all. Was that my fault? Was it also my fault that he didn’t know me?
Weeks passed, and Dillon’s continued absence seemed to etch itself deeper and deeper into my soul. Gone were the stolen moments, the gifts that made him smile, and the belief that we would eventually be together. All I was left with were the bitter reminders of what we had and could have been.
Eris, of course, was oblivious to how I felt. All she cared about was planning our wedding. She had to know it was all fake, didn’t she? That I was only there to save the life of everyone I loved?
Maybe she realized it and was a better performer than even me. She had once said that she had as little choice in getting married as I did. But the way her eyes sparkled as she picked out place settings and center pieces made me wonder.
Sitting at my dining table next to Eris with our wedding planner shaping the sentence I would have to carry out, I again questioned every decision I had ever made. As I did, Eris reached across the table for my hand. Her fingers barely grazed mine before I snatched my hand back.
It hadn’t been intentional. I had to be completely focused to get my body to act against what it wanted and today my mind was elsewhere. I had simply reacted.
Looking up at Eris, I caught the flicker of hurt in her eyes. Why? More than anyone, she knew that what we had was a lie. I was trying to make the best of things. I was trying to do what was right.
