AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Everything but love me,’ I thought. “Okay,” I told him before ending my day early and heading home.
As the train back to my apartment in New Jersey rumbled beneath me, the fantasy I had of Remy and me being together felt like a distant dream. I couldn’t shake off the sting of what he had said about me to Eris. His laugh at the thought of liking guys echoed in my ears. The weight of it was a cruel reminder that he didn’t, couldn’t, feel the same way I did.
Leaning my head against the cold glass of the train’s window, the scene with Eris replayed in my mind. The two looked like perfect dolls that were designed to be together. Why had I thought Remy had wanted to be with me?
It wasn’t hard to recall. I could remember the very moment I imagined having a life with him. It was the day after that embarrassing naked dancing episode at Remy’s parents’ place that still made me cringe.
When he arrived the second night, he said he was there because he had received an alert from their security system. He told me he had come to make sure I wasn’t throwing another unauthorized dance party. It had to have been a joke. But if he hadn’t gotten an alert, then why was he there?
“Nope, no party tonight,” I had said turning who knows what shade of red.
“That’s too bad. I was bored and looking for a show,” he said with his way too charming smirk.
“Well, there’s none here,” I assured him at the time thinking I would never take off my clothes at their place again.
His eyes lingered on me in silence. As self-conscious as I was, I would have melted under his steely gaze if he hadn’t quickly asked, “Have you eaten yet?”
The simple question caught me off guard. My heart pounded unexpectedly at the small gesture of thoughtfulness.
“Not yet. You?”
“No. I was thinking of grabbing a slice. Would you be interested in coming?”
I knew that it was meant to be an innocent invitation from my best friend’s brother, but I couldn’t help myself. My dumb gay ass wanted it to be a date. And it certainly felt like a date.
Remy opened doors for me, paid for everything, and the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed made me weak in the knees. Over pizza, he told me stories about Hil growing up. When I asked him about himself, though, he wasn’t as open. Instead, I saw pain flicker in his eyes. It made me fall for him more.
After we finished our pizza, I expected him to say goodbye but he didn’t. Instead, we walked in silence towards his parents’ place. And, desperately not wanting the night to end, I steadied my trembling young body and asked,
“Do you like ice cream?”
“Do I like ice cream? Hell, yeah!” he replied his face lighting up.
I told him about a place I had heard of just a few blocks away that was supposed to be really good. Excited, he led me there. After trying a few samples, he mentioned another ice cream shop that was rumored to be even better.
“Better than this?” I asked sampling the best ice cream of my life.
“There’s only one way to find out,” he said beaming.
After trying that place, it felt like we were on a mission to find the best ice cream in New York. Whipping out my phone, I located the highest-rated ice cream shop in the city. He bet me that nothing could be as good as the one we had just tried. So onto the next place we went.
Trying that one and finding that it wasn’t as good, I searched a map of the area hoping to extend our adventure.
“I’m sure there’s one that’s better,” I told him scanning reviews trying to decide which it would be.
“Why don’t we just try them all?” Remy suggested excitedly.
“All of them?”
“Why not? Do you have somewhere else you need to be?”
“I was just going to catch up on TV tonight.”
“Then, what do you say? Do you wanna find out what the best ice cream in New York City is?”
We walked the entire night, laughing, and hopped up out of our minds on sugar. When the last of the shops closed and we ate our final sample, we leaned against the railing staring out at the river. The moonlight twinkled on the rippling water and I wanted him to kiss me.
Silence had fallen over us. My sixteen-year-old body needed his. I shivered yearning for him to hold me. But he never did. Instead, he walked me back. Standing in the doorway of his parent’s place with him not coming in, I could have cried I wanted him so badly.
