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Was this Lucien’s true self? Was this what brought him his greatest joy? Maybe I had never known my cousin at all. Was that my fault? Was it also my fault that he didn’t know me?
Weeks passed, and Dillon’s continued absence seemed to etch itself deeper and deeper into my soul. Gone were the stolen moments, the gifts that made him smile, and the belief that we would eventually be together. All I was left with were the bitter reminders of what we had and could have been.
Eris, of course, was oblivious to how I felt. All she cared about was planning our wedding. She had to know it was all fake, didn’t she? That I was only there to save the life of everyone I loved?
Maybe she realized it and was a better performer than even me. She had once said that she had as little choice in getting married as I did. But the way her eyes sparkled as she picked out place settings and center pieces made me wonder.
Sitting at my dining table next to Eris with our wedding planner shaping the sentence I would have to carry out, I again questioned every decision I had ever made. As I did, Eris reached across the table for my hand. Her fingers barely grazed mine before I snatched my hand back.
It hadn’t been intentional. I had to be completely focused to get my body to act against what it wanted and today my mind was elsewhere. I had simply reacted.
Looking up at Eris, I caught the flicker of hurt in her eyes. Why? More than anyone, she knew that what we had was a lie. I was trying to make the best of things. I was trying to do what was right.
Couldn’t she see the effort I was making? I was here, wasn’t I? At no point had I killed her or her father to get out of this. So what right did she have to act hurt by something I couldn’t help?
Hours later when the wedding planning had mercifully ended, I found myself alone with Eris. We had been here before. I had never had to tell Eris to leave. She had always done it without asking. But there was something different about her tonight. This time as she sat staring at me, I saw a twinkle in her eyes.
“I want to do something for you,” she said with a smile.
“Do you want to give me another watch?”
Eris’s jaw tightened before relaxing. “No. This is better. You’re going to like this.”
“Am I?”
She shook her head before getting up. Looking for the remote control for the sound system, she turned it on. The music that played wasn’t from any of my playlists. She had programmed it in. What was she doing?
As the slow sultry sounds poured from the speakers, she turned down the lights. She was setting the mood. For what? When she placed herself an arm’s length in front of my chair, I found out.
Eris didn’t have a bad body. Far from it. Her gentle curves, the subtle lines crisscrossing her stomach, she was every 14-year-old boy’s dream. And the way she moved her hips to the music gave me thoughts. I couldn’t help it. Even a gay man would appreciate what I was seeing.
Watching her, there was no question what she was doing. She had gotten tired of waiting for me to make a move so she was seducing me. Weirdly, it was kind of working.
In the time before Dillon had become my world, women like the one in front of me were my escape. In another time and place, Eris and I might have had a lot of fun together.
Reaching for my drink, I took another sip as Eris pulled her shirt over her head. She was wearing a bra that was barely there. God did she look good. Objectively speaking, the woman looked hot. I took another sip, and before I leaned forward and did something I would regret, I considered my drink.
How many had I had? I had certainly had one to help me get through the wedding planning, but how many after that? Was it just the one? I hadn’t refilled my glass.
Thinking back on the night, I could remember Eris asking me if I needed another. I had reluctantly said yes. After that, there was never a time when my glass was half full. How many had I unknowingly drank, seven? Eight? How drunk was I?
I looked back at Eris who was now naked except for two pieces of shear cloth covering her nipples and swollen mounds. Yeah, she was fucking hot. There was no doubt about it. But did I want this?
Did I want this woman fucking me like her father had been doing for way too long? I didn’t. So when she kneeled in front of me pawing my chest like a cat, I tensed. My hard cock might have given her the wrong impression, though. Rubbing against it and squeezing it, she got excited.
“Join me,” she said standing and sashaying to my bedroom.
Not taking her eyes off of me, she removed what was left of her bra and dropped it. Yep, she had beautiful tits. And stepping out of what was left of her panties, she leaned against the door frame fully nude.
“You could have me whatever way you want,” she said before disappearing within.
Did I want her? Did I want anything about her? What would my life be like if I just said yes?
Chapter 12
Dillon
Stairs creaked under my weight as I made my way down to Cali’s kitsch-filled kitchen. The scent of bacon and waffles tugged me towards it. I could smell them from my bedroom.
