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With a gentle knock, I twist the unlocked doorknob and walk into their kitchen. This place hasn’t changed since I was a kid. Red wooden cabinets hang on the wall with farm décor in every nook and cranny. The wooden counter juts out where three wooden swivel stools sit. Earl is there in his morning bathrobe and slippers, coffee in hand already, just as I knew he would be.
“Look what the cat dragged in.”
“Hey, Grandpa.”
“You OK, son? This is an early visit. Not that I don’t enjoy seeing you. Just a surprise is all.”
“Yeah,” I say, slumping onto the stool next to him. I don’t know where to begin. The weight from last night’s events are suffocating, and I want to make the sensation disappear. “I’m in a bit of a mess, Grandpa.”
“Well, let’s start from the beginning and clean it up. I assume this has to do with the girl?”
I slowly nod. “Where’s Grandma?”
“Oh, she’s still in bed. She’s exhausted lately, so I figured I’d come out here and let her rest.”
“She’s always awake by now.” I peer around the corner at the bedroom door.
“We aren’t exactly spring chickens any longer. Listen, take it from an old-timer like me—your grandmother and I have been married longer than most people get to enjoy this thing we call life. If you think times have always been easy, you are mistaken. Without the hard times and hard conversations, the good times don’t rise to the top as they should. It’s not that you have to earn the good times, but realizing life isn’t always easy is part of the game.
“The best thing any of us can do is live with love in our hearts, and let the rest take care of itself. Your grandmother and I were separated by time, country, and war, and we survived raising five children. Trust me, raising five kids proved more difficult than being in separate countries.” He pauses and lets out a spirited laugh. “Those were the good ol’ days. I guess what I’m getting at is—chase love, speak the truth, and everything else will fall into place.”
“How did you know what I was going to say?”
“I didn’t. But you’ll figure it out. What you’ve been through isn’t easy—you’ll always have to grapple with this. Whoever loves you will need to understand that. You think you have everything figured out, but there are times when a person walks into your life and tosses your so-called plans out the window. Our path isn’t always ours to decide, Jackson.”
“Thanks, Grandpa. I’m going to talk to her today. I can be honest, but I shouldn’t have waited this long to tell her. Solia is …” I stumble for words. “I don’t want to hurt her. And I’ve already decided I’m leaving, Grandpa. It’s the right thing to do. I can’t back out now or I’ll disappoint my father.”
“If she’s as special as it sounds, she’ll know your intent was never to hurt her. It isn’t fair to her, but she will understand the pain you’re going through.”
I lift my head and notice deep lines that crinkle around his mouth, the tiredness set into his face. “Thanks for everything, Grandpa. And speaking of plans, the guys told me about Green Breeze Enterprises. Please tell me you didn’t get a letter.”
After my plea, my grandfather sits back in his stool, crosses his arms, and lets out a deep sigh. “Sure did, Jackson. I’m taking care of it. Things happen for a reason—you heard me last time. We’re at a crossroads with the farm, and I’m not going to live forever.”
“You and Grandma aren’t considering selling the orchard, are you? We can fight these bastards. How much are they offering you? Whatever it is, it isn’t worth it!”
“Jackson, you’ve decided that you’re moving on. You have every right to do that—my children did the same. But that means your grandma and I have to decide what’s best.”
“I told you I’d continue to oversee things from New York, and Shannon is here in case you need her.”
“Son, you are no stranger to how much work goes into running this place. Be practical. When we aren’t here anymore, it’ll be too much responsibility for you to run from afar. We can’t expect your sister to do it. She wants to keep teaching. We’d never ask her to retire.”
“So, what? You’re just going to sell it without talking to us?”
“I have yet to decide. Your grandmother and I are leaving our options on the table. But yes, we are considering selling. Times are changing, and the money from the sale would benefit our children and grandchildren more than apples ever could.”
“Grandpa, this place has been in our family for decades. How could you ever sell it?”
“Jackson, you are asking how could we ever sell? How can wenotsell when no one wants to stay?”
“Grandpa, it’s not that I don’t want to stay. I just can’t handle it.”
“I said, it’s not your decision. What you’ve been through, none of us can understand. That’s why I haven’t brought you into the conversation. I wasn’t planning on it until the proposed deal was explained in detail. Shannon thought that’d be best.”
“Shannon! Shannon knows? Seriously?” This is getting out of control. I rub my temples. Everything is shattering around me. Everyone has put me in a protective bubble, trying to keep me out of harm’s way. To save me from greater hurt and devastation, they’ve sheltered me from truths they thought I couldn’t handle. No one can erase the accident, but I need to know what’s going on with my family, and to do so, I need them to see I can handle the truth.
“Yes, yes, she does, and she understands.”
Standing, I put my hands on the counter, turn to my grandfather, and embrace him in a hug that I hope conveys how much I appreciate his wisdom and love. His frail bones and weak frame cause tears to infiltrate my vision. “I love you, Grandpa. I’m going to talk to Solia. We can discuss the wind farm later, OK?”
