Page 79 of 183 Reasons


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My heart races, pounding through my chest wall. I’m shaking from fear and anxiety and the thought of losing her.

I can’t lose her. I have to find her. She shouldn’t have been out here alone. Where is she?

I can’t think straight. I can’t even see straight. A hot stream of tears flows and clouds my vision even more than the rain. I inch toward the shore of the first of two islands in the center of Newfound Lake. Just ahead between them, I see something red in the water.

Is that her?

It’s just a tiny flash of red. I push the throttle slightly and carefully cruise to the center of the channel between the two islands. Inching closer, the red image becomes clearer, bigger even. It’s a life jacket. It’s a person, but face down.

No! No! No, Solia!

I scream into the wind.

I am too late. I wasn’t here for her. She was alone. She needed me, and I wasn’t here. I’ve been so focused on protecting her heart that I let her go and now she’s gone. Oh my god.

The rain relents enough so the image on the life jacket is visible through ripples in the wind-driven lake water. Brown hair—there’s brown hair in the water and two arms overhead.No! God, no!It’s impossible to get any closer with the boat. It won’t be safe. I kill the engine, run to the bow of the boat, and throw myself into the water.

Swimming as fast as I can, the shape of a person comes into view. It is Solia.

“SOLIA! SOLIA!” My voice fights the power of the wind, my words slapping me in the face. Her hair floats on the water, her red vest surfaces, and her arms are laid out in front. I’m almost there. “SOLIA! SOLIA!” I choke out the water that I drink from swimming and screaming. There’s movement!

Her head turns to the side, and what I couldn’t see until now is the blue paddleboard lying on the surface, half hidden from the powerful push of the wind-driven water.

“SOLIA!”

She stretches her arm slowly in the air.

“Jackson!”

She’s alive. I’m not too late.

I crush my last strokes as the wind slows and the storm clouds part, and I make it to her board.

“Solia, oh my god. Solia.” I reach for her, and her tear-filled eyes meet mine.

“Jackson?” she whispers as she clings to the board.

A surge of adrenaline propels me forward, I tell her to hold on, and I swim to the opposite side of the board. “I’m going to hold on to your hands and pull you toward me. I want you to give it everything you’ve got. We’re going to slide you on top and get you back to the boat. OK? Ready? On the count of three: one, two, three.”

Pulling as hard as my muscles can bear, we get her on top of the board. She’s coughing, exhausted, and shivering, but in one piece.

We can do this. The boat is right there.

“Good job. OK. Are you OK? Solia? Just lie right there, I’m going to get you back to the boat.”

She’s face down, extended across the length of the board. The boat is thirty feet away.

We can do this. I’ve swum farther than this before.

My whole body is on overdrive. I swim to the tail end of the paddleboard, and with my hands on the back, I push Solia to the boat. “Hang in there. It’s going to be OK. I got you.”

The microburst has passed, and the sun forces its way through the storm clouds. Seeing the rays hit Solia, I know the warmth will help.

We make it to the rear of the boat and I swim to the front of the board, not once letting it out of my grip.

I will never let this woman go.

My future is crystal clear—she did that.

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