Page 34 of City of Gods


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“Because I wanted to talk to you about everything.” Her features were serious as she looked me in the eye. “I know you’re not a killer,” she began. “But what you did tonight was exactly what a killer would have done. Your instincts were spot on. You didn’t hesitate and you were a damn good shot. I was impressed.” She placed a hand on her chest and let a hint of a smile curve those plush lips.

“Thanks, I guess.” I shrugged. I didn’t know how to take what she’d said. She was complimenting me on the one thing I hated.

“Bakari.” She took my hand in hers and squeezed a little. “I know you’re going to struggle with killing those motherfuckers, but don’t. If you hadn’t stepped up and done what needed to be done, three lives would have been lost. The lives of people you care about. You think those niggas with the guns gave a fuck about Dice, Hakim, and Maasai?” She reached up and tugged at the neck of my shirt. “I know you detest killing and killers and everything associated with murder but to live is to die. They chose how to live and inevitably they chose how they’d die. They got exactly what they deserved.

So instead of punishing yourself for the lives you took, celebrate the lives you saved. That’s what you’re all about anyway, right, Dr. Breeze?” Her smile was beautiful. It was going to be burned into my mind for the rest of the fucking night.

“I hear you, Sanai…and thank you for caring enough to try to ease my guilt.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“Forehead kisses are dangerous. Don’t do that,” she warned with a laugh. “I’m serious, though. When you go to sleep, think about the lives you saved and how differently tonight would have gone if you didn’t act the way you did.” We walked to her car in silence, but my mind was teeming with thoughts.

Did I do the right thing even though I’d taken three lives? Sanai was right in saying that my world would have changed if I hadn’t killed those men. I would have lost my brothers. The thought was enough to make my stomach go sour at the memory of fighting Hakim like we were teenagers.

“I’ll call you or text you whenever I get a solid meeting with Junior’s boy.” Sanai’s voice pulled me from my head and I nodded. I didn’t even think twice before leaning in and hugging her. I’d been inside of her multiple times tonight and I couldn’t lie and say I didn’t want to do it again if she’d let me. There was no getting it out of my system like I thought. If I didn’t have obligations, I’d bend her fine ass over the hood and fuck her one more time before she went home.

I was glad she couldn’t see my face when she hugged me back because I knew shock was written all over it. I wasn’t expecting a hug. Not from her. Shit, to be honest, I wasn’t expecting to give her one.

“Yeah, hit me up and let me know you got home safe,” I said, stepping back. She nodded and waved at me before getting in the car.

It wasn’t until I was on my way back to the Temple that I realized I’d just told a fucking killer to call me when she got home safely. Who was fucking with Sanai?

“So, about those Cubans,” Rob laughed when I walked in.

“Fuck you, nigga. She just wanted to talk for a minute. Nothing serious.”

“Yeah, okay. That’s how it starts.” He pulled off a pair of bloody gloves and pushed out a hefty breath. “I’m done with the two legit patients we had tonight. Dice is disposing of the three you took care of.”

“That’s what’s up.”

“What’s going through your head, man? Is it the shit from earlier? I know you’re fucked up over killing those men.”

“I am but Sanai said some real shit that made me feel a little more at ease. Right now I’m cussing myself out for fighting Hakim. It was so dumb.” I passed a hand over my face and looked at my best friend.

“You fought Hakim? Did you beat his ass?” He laughed a little then said, “I’m fucking with you. Y'all are brothers. How many fights have me and Sai broken up between y'all over the years? This shit ain’t new, Breeze.”

“I know but tonight wasn’t the time or the place…and all because he was eating some chips.” I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.

“Go ahead and find him so you can apologize and squash it. Then after you do that, make an appointment at the cigar bar and get my shit because after seeing you with Sanai tonight, I know you smashed. Next stop is your ass being in love.”

“Nah. Not the kid,” I told him, patting my chest. I didn’t do love. I was having too much fun dating and fucking with no strings attached. I knew I’d settle down eventually, but it wasn’t in the cards right now. Not even Sanai’s bad ass could make me fold.

“Yeah, okay.” Rob slapped me on the back and went to scrub down while I went looking for Hakim. I found him grabbing a fresh bag of chips from the vending machine we kept in the lounge.

“You get your girl to her car safely?” he asked me over his shoulder as he cracked into the bag of salt and vinegar chips.

“She’s not my girl, but yeah. I walked Sanai to her car.” I smoothed my hand over my waves and walked around so that I could look Hakim in the face. “Listen, bro, I didn’t mean to fly off the handle earlier. I shouldn’t have hit you. That shit escalated too quickly and…”

“Keep your apologies, Bakari. We were both heated and the energy was charged and ripe for someone to throw hands. It just happened to be us. I shouldn’t have let it get that far. You’re my little brother and I know how you feel about violence and all that shit. I could have de-escalated, but I didn’t.”

“Let’s put that petty shit behind us. We have bigger things to deal with.” I held out my hand and he slapped it but only after he sat the chips down. “Greedy ass nigga,” I laughed.

“I had to get another bag of chips since somebody wanted to be a pussy and throw mine in the trash.”

“Maybe it’s a sign you should stop shoving everything in your goddamn mouth,” I joked. Hakim brushed me off then smirked a little.

“From the looks of you and Sanai, you like to shove things in your mouth too, lil brother.” He raised his eyebrows and grabbed his bag of chips from the table, shoving another one into his mouth.

“Man, what the hell are y'all seeing that I’m not seeing?” I asked more so to myself than to Hakim. I caught sight of Rob’s scrubs moving past the room and so did Hakim.

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