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Thirteen
Eli had a couple of broken ribs, but no internal bleeding and a few lacerations that needed stitching. It wasn’t as exciting as closing up a life-threatening knife wound or pulling out bullets and closing up holes in someone’s chest, but it was enough to take my mind off Rob.
That and…Sanai.
Goddamn, that woman was going to drive me insane in the best way possible. My mind refused to let go of the way she smelled. Her laughter. Her fearlessness. The fire in her spirit. The way her pussy felt wrapped around my dick…
“Hey, you paying attention?” Hakim snapped his fingers in front of my face and I pushed his hand away from me. He’d just punished a plate of fried shrimp and his fingers still smelled like whatever sauce he’d dipped them in. “We’re going to chip in and pay for Rob’s funeral.”
“Yeah, I heard you,” I said, sliding my palms down my face. “Saying Rob and funeral in the same sentence just doesn’t feel right.” I shook my head and found myself wishing it had all been a bad dream. The heavy numbness in my chest only faded when Sanai was around. With her, I could laugh a little. Breathe easier.
“I know, man. I think you should go see his mother tomorrow. She asked about you when I called to check on her. I told her you were taking it pretty hard,” Maasai offered.
“I’ll check on her. Let her know she can have whatever she wants for his funeral and that I’ll take care of her forever. She doesn’t even have to ask.” Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to let them flow. I was tired of crying when I was alone. I wanted the pain to stop. It was still too fresh, though.
I had to pivot from talking about Rob because it was shredding me into ribbons. I cleared my throat and said, “I’m going to talk to Junior again. I called and made an appointment to speak with him before he goes back to Haiti next week.”
Hakim eyed me while he cracked open a bottle of water sitting to his left on Maasai’s dining room table. We decided not to go out in public to meet up because shit was too unpredictable, and we all wanted to lay low after Rob.
“Is this about Sanai’s mother?” Maasai’s eyebrows slipped lower on his forehead as he leaned forward.
“Yeah, I want people hunting for her. I don’t trust Sanai’s father to do what needs to be done. He’s going to go easy on her and so will all of her kids.” I clasped my hands together and rested them on the tabletop.
“So, you don’t trust your girl either? You think she’d let her mother go?” Maasai asked me.
“That’s her mom, regardless of how much Sanai hates her. Anyone would have a hard time pulling the trigger.” I knew that Sanai believed she’d be able to take her mother out but there was no guarantee. Nothing was for sure. That was why I wanted to do it myself or make sure I was there when it happened.
“At least you’re not completely drowning in her pussy.” Hakim sniffed then let out a chuckle.
“Fuck you, nigga. Just because I’m feeling her doesn’t mean I stop seeing things logically.”
“You need us to make time to roll with you?” Maasai asked, ignoring the back and forth between me and Hakim.
“Nah. I’m good. I know y'all got a ton on your plates at the hospital.” Both of my brothers stared at me, but I was dead ass serious. I didn’t want an escort or for them to hang around me while I handled business. I needed to do this for Rob and for the Temple. Both meant the world to me and I was going to protect and avenge however I could.
After I assured Maasai and Hakim that I was good and would be able to handle going to Junior on my own, I went home. I needed to crash and I knew they had to get to the Temple and open.
I thought I would be okay walking into an empty house because I’d done it time and time again. This time was different, though. This time I walked into suffocation. I walked into the gravity of everything and it nearly brought me to my knees. I pressed my back against the foyer wall and let an angry roar rip from my chest.
Why the fuck did my best friend have to die like that?
Shit wasn’t fair.
Nothing made sense anymore.
I thought I had life figured out for the most part. I understood how things worked. I had my own moral compass that guided me through life thanks to my mother, my older brothers, and everyone else in my family.
Rob wasn’t a bad guy. He wasn’t like the men we helped patch up night after night. He was a normal fucking man. He wasn’t perfect but to get shot in the goddamn head for no reason other than it should have been me? That wasn’t sitting right with me.
The grief was heavy, and it didn’t seem to lift. Not even after I’d showered and looked over my notes from the hospital. Everything seemed to be happening mechanically. Like I was only performing those tasks because I knew how to. I sought comfort in routine but eventually at two in the morning when I couldn’t sleep, the comfort of routine fell to pieces around me.
I had to get my mind off Rob. I kept seeing him laughing and then…then he was falling. The sound his body made when it hit the ground was unnerving and it played on a loop in my brain, torturing my ears.
I made turn after turn down nameless streets. I shouldn’t have been out like that, but I almost welcomed the bullet that had my name on it. I found myself wanting to take Rob’s place because at least there’d be a reason for me to die. Someone wanted what I had. It would have been sad, but it would have been understood. I couldn’t understand this shit.
I wasn’t quite sure how I ended up in Sanai’s driveway, but I seemed to blink and there I was. I gripped the steering wheel in my fists and blew out a long breath. I couldn’t just sit there. I knew she had cameras and with her being who she was, I knew that if she wasn’t sleeping, she was watching those cameras like a hawk.
When my phone chimed with a notification, I already knew whose name would appear on the screen.
