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After tonight, there was no denying the way I felt about Bakari Godwin. I guess there never had been any denying the feelings. It just took a while to become comfortable with them.
When Bakari and I walked inside, hand in hand, we were met by Dice who was already calling extra hands to help with the cleanup at my parents’ property outside of Bellmore where my mother and Takia lay dead.
My family sat in intake, watching me like they knew the message I needed to relay. Even though my chest was heavy with anxiety, I pushed through it. What else could I do?
“Mother is dead. It’s done.” I clasped my hands together in front of me and braced myself for impact.
Nothing happened.
Nobody said a word. They only stared at me, blank looks in their eyes. Their lips flat. Their breathing steady.
“I’ll bring the bodies here and if you all need to check for confirmation, that’s when I’d suggest you do so. After that, she’s going in the incinerator,” Dice announced to everyone. They all nodded absentmindedly, then looked at me again.
“Did you do it?” Father asked finally after a wave of silence. “Or did your boyfriend do it?”
“I did it,” I gritted out, trying to keep my composure. He didn’t say anything. He turned his gaze away from me as if he’d dismissed me. When I looked at my siblings, their eyes were ping-ponging all over the place. I nodded curtly and took the elevator upstairs with Bakari.
“Don’t let that shit get to you, Sanai,” he said when the elevator doors opened to let us onto the second floor.
“I’m trying not to. I don’t even know what I expected.” I flexed my fingers, trying to rid myself of the frustration building in the pit of me.
“Why don’t we find out where Maasai and the dog went and go to my place?” He wrapped his arms around me from behind and swayed from side to side. “Let me take your mind off this shit.”
“Bakari, are you trying to fuck me right now?”
“Did I say that? I said let me take your mind off this shit. Those were my exact words, right?”
“I never know with you.”
“I think you know me more than you realize at this point, baby girl.”
“Did I ever tell you that I love when you call me that?” I found a smile somewhere buried beneath the darkness. That was what Bakari did for me, though. He pulled me outside of my darkness.
“Nah, you’ve never told me that. Let me find out you like pet names and puppies. Who are you, Sanai?” He kissed my neck and wrapped his arms tighter around me.
“Don’t tell anyone,” I warned.
“Your secret is safe with me.”
We walked down the hall and Bakari looked around for Maasai. When he couldn’t find him, he called him on his watch.
“Yo, where are you, man?” He asked.
“My office,” he answered immediately. We made our way to his office and found him with a sleeping dog in his lap.
“Aww, look at you, Maasai. You love her, don’t you?” I cooed.
“No. I just wanted to make sure she was okay. I gave her a bath and she seemed to be limping so I wrapped her hind leg. She’s all yours.” He stood and handed me the sleeping dog, which I gladly cradled in my arms. She smelled a hell of a lot better after she’d been thoroughly cleaned by Maasai.
“I’m going to take her back to my place. Are we swamped here, or am I good to leave?” Bakari asked. The level of respect he had for his big brothers never ceased to amaze me. It showed me how a normal sibling relationship should work.
“You’re good to leave. Someone got shot in the face and Hakim is working on them. I’m going to go in and help but…” Maasai’s voice faltered a little when he looked at Bakari. “We need to find a new head nurse, Bakari.”
“I know.” His jaw tightened as he nodded.
“I need you to be a part of the hiring process because you know we can’t have just anyone up in here. I know this all seems sudden, but…”
“I know, Maasai. Let me know when you’re ready to start interviewing and I’ll be there.” I placed my hand on his back for reassurance and felt his tight muscles relax under my palm.
