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“Okay. I’ll let you know. Go home and chill. I’ll hit you up later.” Maasai turned his dark, almost onyx eyes on me next. I felt like a child in his presence. I had no idea how Bakari grew up with someone so intimidating as an older brother.
I knew I could whoop Eli’s ass if need be, so he didn’t pose a threat to me growing up but Maasai? That man was massive, quiet, and by the look in his eyes, deadly. He hid it well, though.
“Are you okay, Sanai?” he asked.
“I’m good. Thank you, Maasai.” He had me feeling like maybe I should bow or some shit.
“Let me know if you need anything. At this point, you’re family, too.” He offered the slightest hint of a smile before sitting behind his desk again and working on something on his computer.
…
When we got to Bakari’s house, I made a small pallet for the dog to sleep on, then I peeled out of my clothes. I wanted to burn them and never see them again.
“What are you going to name her?” Bakari asked. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, long strong legs open while he watched me undress.
“I don’t know yet.” I tipped my head from one side to the other while I watched her sleep, trying to figure out what her name should be. She looked like a yorkie with long black and gold fur that needed to be tended to by a groomer. I knew after she’d been groomed, she’d be beautiful, though. “Maybe Bella,” I said with a shrug.
“She looks like a Bella,” Bakari added. He stood, shooting up over my head, then went into the bathroom, running the water for a bath. I walked in when the water stopped running and sniffed the warm air.
“Is that my bubble bath?” I laughed a little because I must have been smelling things. There was no mistaking the distinct citrus-vanilla smell, though. A smile curled my lips, pushing the apples of my cheeks up so much that they burned.
Only Bakari could make me smile like that after putting a bullet through my mother’s skull.
“It is,” he told me. “I saw what scent you used the last time I was at your house and I ordered the entire set. Bubble bath, lotion, perfume, body oil…the works.”
“You really did that just so I could have it at your house?” I was touched more than I could ever express. Once again, he was bleeding through the cracks in my concrete.
“Yeah. I want you here all the time. I can’t have you here if you’re not comfortable. You shouldn’t have to lug all your shit over here and then pack it all up and take it back. If you want to be with your man, then you should be able to without any extra planning or thinking. I got you.”
There were those words again…
My man.
I shook my head at his thoughtfulness then popped up on my tiptoes to kiss him.
He held my hand while I stepped into his deep bathtub letting the hot, steamy water eat away at my stress. “You’re not getting in with me?” I pouted, staring up at him. His gorgeous deep skin was so smooth and flawless. My fingers couldn’t help skating through the scattering of hair on his forearm. I traced the veins running beneath his skin and drowned in the warmth and strength pouring from him.
“This bath is for you. I want you to sit and soak and whatever else you need to do. Don’t worry about me. Take care of Sanai for once.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead then he left me to my thoughts and feelings.
Mother’s face immediately popped into my head telling me all the things I did wrong with her kill. All the time I wasted letting her talk. The fact that I didn’t wipe my weapon down, nor did I wear gloves.
I snapped my eyes shut and shook my head.
I meant what the fuck I told her.
She didn’t get to live rent-free in my head anymore. I did the kill my way and I got it done. That was all I cared about. Nobody else had to be proud of me because I was. Bakari was too and that honestly meant a lot.
I stretched out in the roomy tub and dipped my long hair into the hot water. I watched the ends of my tresses as they began to curl up. I dipped my hair under the water again and again until it was soaked to the scalp and ringlets and kinks were forming wildly. I wanted to be the truest form of myself.
I let the water rush over my face while a few tears slid down with it. I had a lot to release and tears were just the start.
I sat in that tub and scrubbed myself until my skin was tender. I wanted it all off of me. Everything. The gunpowder, the blood, the pain…
When I climbed out and drained the water, I made my way across the marble floor to the shower and rinsed everything off under the spray of nearly scalding hot water. Bakari was right. I needed to cleanse myself alone. I needed to rinse everything down the drain after I’d sat with it and soaked in it. Only then would I be ready to step out on my own with a clearer mind.
When I walked out of the bathroom and into Bakari’s bedroom, I noticed that he’d showered because he was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and nothing else. His muscles were on display and the sight made my heart skip a beat.
I loved looking at his bare chest like that. He wasn’t massive like Maasai or cut the fuck up like Hakim…which, how the hell wasn’t that man built like a double-wide trailer with everything he ate in a day? Bakari had dense, lean muscles like a basketball player. He was hard in all the right places and I was a very lucky girl to have all that espresso granite to myself.
