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CHAPTER FIVE
Kolis’s compulsion lifted, and the moment he vanished, control over my body and thoughts returned.
But I stood where he’d left me, in what was yet another, much grander gilded cage—one I had a terrible, sinking suspicion was the one Aios had spoken of.
Seawater dripped from my hair and gown, leaving small puddles on the shiny black floor as a faint tremor coursed down my arm. The return had been a blur, but once inside the cage, Kolis hadn’t left immediately.
He’d lingered for some time.
But hadn’t spoken.
He had just looked down at me—at my face, my body—hands trembling on my arms, then my waist and hips. I could still feel his fingers pressing into my flesh and then curling around the wet, thin material of my gown, my skin crawling the entire time.
He’d shook as if overcome by some kind of extreme emotion or struggling with restraint.
And he’d shivered while terror lodged in my throat and helplessness slowly suffocated me. He’d quivered through each second, every minute, as I feared what was to come, what he would do while I stood there. That choking, smothering powerlessness had entrenched itself deeply within me, and it remained, even with him gone.
A shudder went through me, and my chest tightened. I hadn’t been able to look away or move out of his reach. I couldn’t even tell him to stop touching me, nor did I have the chance to regain some semblance of control. Nausea rose, turning my stomach.
I’d been helpless, absolutely powerless, and it had been so easy for him to ensure that. Four words. Just four fucking words, and he’d had complete control of me.
The back of my throat burned. The gold bars before me, spaced a foot apart, blurred. I managed one step, and then my legs stopped holding me up. I went down onto my knees and palms. I didn’t even feel the impact. My too-tight chest constricted even further as I took rapid, too-shallow breaths.
Kolis could do that again at any time. He could seize my will, strip my power from me before I even knew it, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I was trapped here, with him, without control. I would die here, either at Kolis’s hands or upon my Ascension, and there was no telling what would happen between now and then.
Actually, I did know.
Aios had spoken little about her time as one of Kolis’s favorites, but I’d been able to fill in what she hadn’t shared. He’d never touched his favorites, but I would eventually be different. I knew that. I’d seen it in his stare when he stood before me, his hands fisting the gown. It was the same kind of dark, twisted need I’d seen in Tavius’s eyes more times than I cared to remember.
I leaned back, my heart racing. I squeezed my eyes shut, but my cheeks became damp. Pain flared across my jaw as I clamped my mouth closed, but the ragged sound still deafened my ears.
I smacked my hands over my face—fuck, that hurt—but the physical pain was nothing compared to the withering agony that would leave no bruises behind.
Kolis’s promise of violent destruction of not only me but also those I cared about echoed in my mind, overshadowing the fear of assault. It was an oath I didn’t doubt for one second.
My body was now the one that shook. Raw panic and anger crashed through me, pouring into the crack in my chest that had formed in the Dying Woods when I attempted to escape the Shadowlands and turn myself over to Kolis. Pressure built. My heart did that skipping thing that caused what breath I’d managed to take to catch repeatedly. The inside of my throat had to be shrinking as tears stung the tender skin of my lip. The Primal essence stirred, pulsed. My skin prickled all over, the tiny hairs rising in response to the brief charge hitting the air.
In the back of my mind, I knew this wasn’t good. I clearly remembered what had happened the last time I’d completely lost control. I’d almost brought Ash’s palace down on us and sent myself into the Ascension I wouldn’t survive. I’d end up going into stasis.
I couldn’t afford to weaken myself and become truly vulnerable.
The embers in my chest vibrated, and I lowered my hands, opening my eyes. My breath snagged. Silver eather sparked along the tips of my fingers as the embers and my blood started to hum.
“Keep it together,” I told myself, trying to slow and clear my thoughts.
But it was impossible.
Because it wasn’t just what would happen to me, it was what would surely be done to Ash—what had already been done to him. And Kolis had him in a cell somewhere.
I knew what kind of state he’d been in, and it hadn’t been good. Something struck me, then. I thought of the roots that had come out of the ground when I nearly sent myself into Ascension. Why hadn’t the earth attempted to protect Ash? Although they hadn’t tried to protect me or the embers inside of me either when I was so very close to dying. There had to be a reason for that, but my mind couldn’t focus on it. It dwelled on what awaited Ash—what Kolis would do to him.
I jerked, my shoulders rising and falling rapidly as I tried to take in enough air between the ragged, shattered sounds still coming out of me.
I pressed my lips together, attempting to cease the quiver in them and silence the sobs. Ash had never been entirely forthcoming when it came to what Kolis had done to him in the past, but I knew enough. Gods, I knew plenty.
Ash was a Primal, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be injured. He could be hurt badly. He could even be in stasis now, unable to defend himself.
