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Mine.
Some knowledge arose that the idea of belonging to someone would enrage me, but not him. He was different. I did belong to him. And he belonged to me.
“I told myself it was because of what my father did. It made sense to me that I would feel that way since you’d been promised to me before you were even born.”
A deal…
One made between a desperate King and a Primal to save a kingdom…and the realms.
“It couldn’t be anything else, but I…I started to feel things strongly again. After that one damn kiss, I felt…I felt excitement. Anticipation. And damn, it had been a long time since I’d felt those two emotions, but everything was heightened when it came to you. Even anger and frustration,” he said with a dark, rich laugh. “And when you stabbed me?”
I…I’d stabbed him?
“I even felt alive then.”
What a strange man.
I smiled.
“When you argued with me. When you smiled at me. When you had that look of violence in your eyes. When it turned sensual. But especially when you laughed. I felt alive,” he said. “But I also felt fear again. And Fates, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt that. It was even before my kardia was removed, but I felt real fear when I thought about how willing you were to risk your life. Terror at the thought of Kolis discovering you.”
That name…
My hands balled into fists. I didn’t like that name.
I felt the soft glide of fingers over mine. I looked at where my hand drifted in the water. Slowly, my fingers relaxed, unfurling. It was his touch. It felt as if he were mapping the bones and tendons beneath my skin. He spoke of our time at the lake, and how he felt more like himself than ever when he was there with me. He talked about how he’d finally taken me into the Shadowlands.
“That fear had me acting like a real piece of shit,” he said. “And when I learned what you had plotted?”
I’d…I’d planned to kill him.
My chest seized with agony. I hadn’t wanted to, but I’d believed I had to. I’d been so very wrong, though. I knew that.
“Yeah, it pissed me off.”
No doubt. Who wouldn’t be mad?
“But it shouldn’t have angered me. I shouldn’t have felt betrayed,” he said, and I squeezed my eyes shut. My heart hurt. I didn’t want him to have felt that. I didn’t want to be the cause. “Not with my kardia removed. I couldn’t understand why, but what I did know, even then, was that I was angrier about the risk you took than your betrayal.”
My eyes drifted open.
“You wouldn’t have survived the attempt. You would’ve died. And for what? A fucking kingdom that didn’t know you existed? A mother who didn’t deserve such an honor? Fuck,” he spat.
His anger made me smile. It shouldn’t. Life was important. All life was, even those deemed unworthy of such. I knew that now. I didn’t think I’d known that then. Or cared. But it was now etched into my bones.
But so was the violence he’d seen in my eyes. Because…life was vicious. When stolen, it became the ruin of realms, a wrath that even Death would hide from.
And Death would hide from me.
Time passed as I floated in the lake, and the wolf sat on the bank, watching and waiting while the voice spoke of words we’d thrown at each other and things we’d whispered. He spoke of regrets and wants, passion and yearning. His voice always deepened then, roughening in a way that pulled forth glimpses of memories—of us, our bodies entwined and joined together. Those remembrances elicited sharp pulses of desire that left me aching, yearning to feel him against my skin and inside me so badly, I fell into those memories of him taking control.
I remembered those moments so clearly. His large body caging mine, holding me in place as he took me from behind. And I knew I only ever allowed him to dominate me and my body, and it drove me wild that I could do so and feel safe. That I could let go of whatever inhibitions and reservations remained hidden deep inside me and be so free. It thrilled me. It empowered me. We could make love. We could fuck. And in the end, it was I who chose.
I had the ultimate control.
I knew that.
I remembered that.
