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“One you’re currently not helping with,” he pointed out, letting go of my hair to place his hand atop mine. It was his left and my right. Our imprints touched, and I could’ve sworn our skin hummed. “I’m your husband,” he repeated. “You’re my wife. And I know I don’t have a whole lot of experience in this, not even secondhand…”
Neither did I. Even though my mother had remarried, their marriage had been more of a necessity. I wasn’t even sure she and King Ernald loved each other. Maybe they simply tolerated one another.
If I were honest with myself, my stepfather carried more than just a fondness for my mother but she…she was still in love with my father.
That made my heart ache as I focused on Ash.
“And even though I never allowed myself to consider what it would be like to be in love with another and be married, I know what kind of marriage I want.” Ash drew his lower lip between his teeth. “Or I know what kind of marriage I want with you.”
My heart started doing that skipping thing again.
“I want us to trust each other,” he began.
“I trust you,” I told him. “Irrevocably.”
A small smile appeared, softening his features. “I know, but this…I think this is a different kind of trust, one that allows us to share everything with each other. The easy and the hard—especially the hard.” Only a faint glow of eather pulsed behind his pupils. “The kind of trust where we know we can be honest and feel comfortable knowing that anything we share will not change how we see each other.”
My stomach hollowed as my gaze fell to where his hand still rested atop mine. I looked at the imprint.
“We have that kind of trust already, don’t we?” Ash asked, his breath cool against my forehead.
I nodded, my throat thickening. “We do.”
“So, you know that, no matter what, I will always see you as being as strong and brave as you are clever and fierce.” His fingers pressed between mine. “That my attraction, my need and want of you, will never be lessened, no matter what happens.” He paused. “Or what has happened.”
My lower lip trembled, and the edges of my fangs scraped against the back of my lips as I pressed my mouth closed.
“I know who you are, Sera, and what you mean to me. And that is everything because you are everything to me.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And that will never change.”
A shudder went through me.
“It would be impossible for that to happen.” He shifted so his forehead rested against mine. “Because even if we weren’t mates of the heart, what you made me feel from the moment you stood in the Shadow Temple years ago to every moment between then and now, would’ve still made me fall in love with you. Your courage and strength, your beauty and utter fearlessness, your humor, and most of all, that softness of yours you share with me. It would’ve made sure my kardia somehow came back. I believe that—I know that—because you’re the first person I have ever felt has truly accepted me, no matter what I’ve done in my past or what has been done to me. You’re the first to refuse to allow any more drops of blood to be inked into my flesh. You were the first to ever make me feel anything that mattered,” he swore. “You’re…you’re simply my first, Sera, and you will be my last.”
My eyes stung with tears. “You’re going to make me cry.”
“I’m not trying to.” His hand squeezed mine. “But it’s okay if you do. I wouldn’t think less of you if you did. There isn’t anything that could make me think less of you.”
“I know,” I whispered hoarsely. And I did. The reasonable, logical, and unfortunately very small part of my mind knew. “And I know what you’re getting at. I do. You’re talking about my time with Kolis.”
“I’m talking about things in general,” he said. “And about that.”
“It was nothing,” I said in a rush, my insides twisting, causing my breath to catch.
It was nothing.
Veses had said the same thing. She had spoken the same lie.
Ash’s lips brushed the curve of my cheek, and then he pulled his head back a few inches. His hand left mine. A heartbeat passed, and I felt the tips of his fingers on my chin. He tilted my head back. “I want you to know that when you’re ready to talk about everything, whether it’s nothing or not, I’ll be waiting. I’ll be ready.”
I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly I saw white for a few seconds. A flood of words crawled up my throat, but a wall of emotion and sheer will as strong as shadowstone choked them off.
Veses had lied.
I didn’t.
I wasn’t.
“By the way,” Ash said, his gruff voice reaching me. “Rhain is going to gather some food for us. He’s positive you’re starving.”
