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“Yes.” I forced a casual shrug. “We are attracted to each other, but he’s not the only person I’ve been attracted to—” The clap of thunder came again, much louder this time. “Or that I’ve been with. It’s not like he loves me.”
“See,” Kolis drawled, the churning eather slowing in his flesh. “I’m not so sure about that. You do not kill for another unless love is involved.”
I frowned. “People kill for every reason and no reason—”
“Mortals kill for every reason and no reason,” he corrected. “Not Primals.”
“Really?” I couldn’t keep the dryness from my tone.
That strange smile of his appeared. “Every life I’ve ever taken, I did so because of love.”
“And that is the only thing love has ever inspired in you?” I asked before I could stop myself. “Death?”
Deep grooves appeared between his brows. A moment passed. “Yes.”
“I…” I fell silent. Was he serious? I thought he was. Gods, that was so damn messed up and sad—tragic, actually. I felt an unsteady sensation in my chest because it made me think of what I’d done for my mother. I loathed the woman, yet I loved her, and all I ever did for her was kill. I imagined if that were my only experience with love, I would think the same.
Damn.
It struck me then that until I met Ash, my views on love were less demented than Kolis’s, but they hadn’t been that much different.
Glancing over at him, I sighed. “Then I’m sorry.”
Something like surprise flickered across his face, smoothing out the creases between his brows. “You have never apologized to me.”
I stilled, half-expecting to hear Sotoria’s voice, but she remained quiet.
“So, why would you do so now?” he asked.
“I…I don’t know much about love, or anything really,” I said, and that was also the damn truth. “But love should inspire one to indulge in more than just violence and death.”
He watched me in silence for several moments. “You’re right.”
I was?
I was.
Swallowing the rest of the fruity water, I sort of wished it was liquor—hard whiskey.
“But,” he said, causing my pulse to speed up even more, “I know that love inspires great acts of reckless violence, much like the kind my nephew engaged in.”
“I know what you’re getting at.” I bent, placing the flute on the tile beside my feet. “But Nyktos cannot love me.”
“What are you saying? That you’re unlovable?” He lifted a brow. “Based solely on your mouth and disagreeable temper, I wouldn’t argue against that assessment.”
My eyes narrowed. “Well, that was kind of rude.”
A half-smile appeared, and I realized he was teasing me. Shivers broke out across the nape of my neck, and the knots of discomfort grew. “But,”—I forced myself to continue—“that wasn’t what I was going to say.”
“What were you going to say?”
“Nyktos is the one who is incapable of loving anyone,” I shared, the sinking sensation in my chest now joining the knots. I hated speaking any truths about Ash to Kolis. It felt like a betrayal, but considering what I would likely have to do, it was the least of my worries. “He had his kardia removed.”
Kolis leaned back in his chair, his jaw loosening. “Come now.” He shook his head.
“It’s true.” I clasped my knees. “He cannot love.”
A heartbeat passed. Then another. A godsdamn tense minute went by while Kolis stared. “Why would he do that?”
